Tuesday, April 24, 2001
damn, forums are down. Yeah trav, i try to read them, but i dunno. It is mostly sam posting. How do you reply to him? it is impossible.
anyways, i just got home from work. things are getting crazy. they are giving me responsimability and stuff now. Only problem is, they don't realize that i don't know anything about botany and horticulture, and that i don't really care about botany and horticulture. This is just a job. I don't really care what I am doing or why for them, as long as they pay me. they are not understanding this, so it could quite possibly make things a little annoying. we will see how things shape up here, it could be the start of more lazyness. i don't think i can pull off the level of slack me and ryan pulled off last year. it just isn't the same without him there to chill with :P i am going to try and get less hours, i don't know if i will be able to handle what they want me to do, and keep up with school. oh yeah, and commuting sucks, but i don't want to get on with another string of traffic blogs.
depression...... depression blows. I don't know, i have been through my bouts. the only way i have found to end them, is to stop caring completely for a few days, then find something fun to do, even if it is a simple thing like going to a party at matts or whatever. After i got kicked out of school, i got really depressed, like hardcore. i didn't sleep, but i never did anything. i didn't eat. I didn't talk to anyone. I just sat here staring blankly at my computer. the only thing i would do is go to school. it got to the point where i just didn't care anymore about anything. so i went up to western, had a pretty fun weekend, and felt a lot better. don't try and get through it all on your own. eventually, you will need something to snap you out of it, and that something ultimately lies in your friends. oh yeah, and don't dwell on death. trust me, it leads to bad things......
bwah, sleep dep sucks. I haven't really slept in the past 4 days
anyways, i just got home from work. things are getting crazy. they are giving me responsimability and stuff now. Only problem is, they don't realize that i don't know anything about botany and horticulture, and that i don't really care about botany and horticulture. This is just a job. I don't really care what I am doing or why for them, as long as they pay me. they are not understanding this, so it could quite possibly make things a little annoying. we will see how things shape up here, it could be the start of more lazyness. i don't think i can pull off the level of slack me and ryan pulled off last year. it just isn't the same without him there to chill with :P i am going to try and get less hours, i don't know if i will be able to handle what they want me to do, and keep up with school. oh yeah, and commuting sucks, but i don't want to get on with another string of traffic blogs.
depression...... depression blows. I don't know, i have been through my bouts. the only way i have found to end them, is to stop caring completely for a few days, then find something fun to do, even if it is a simple thing like going to a party at matts or whatever. After i got kicked out of school, i got really depressed, like hardcore. i didn't sleep, but i never did anything. i didn't eat. I didn't talk to anyone. I just sat here staring blankly at my computer. the only thing i would do is go to school. it got to the point where i just didn't care anymore about anything. so i went up to western, had a pretty fun weekend, and felt a lot better. don't try and get through it all on your own. eventually, you will need something to snap you out of it, and that something ultimately lies in your friends. oh yeah, and don't dwell on death. trust me, it leads to bad things......
bwah, sleep dep sucks. I haven't really slept in the past 4 days
