Monday, June 25, 2001
i still say everyone experience it my way, even if it is just once. this is the time we have to destroy our bodies and illegal and rebellious things with little or no consequences. at least that is what i see this period of my life as. drugs, alcohol, petty theft, general hooliganism, all part of the fun. i get caught, i get a stern talking to from some authority. that is about the worst that will happen.
i don't know, drugs are bad, blah blah, but they can be entertaining. its just like alcohol. the fact that some are illegal make some of them worse, or something. repeated use drills holes in your brain sure. excessive repeated use. excessive repeated alcohol drills holes in your liver. excessive repeated cigarettes drill holes in your lungs. but still, we drink and smoke :P all these organs are vital, but i am not going to screw them up enough to make a lasting difference on my life. life for me is about experiencing as much as possible. i don't want to look back in 3 years and say, wow, i never did that, and now i will never be able too because it is inappropriate. its like, i was talking to ryan a few days ago about what we would do if an opportunity presented itself. i think there are a lot of things i would do, that under normal circumstances i would say "i would never do that" because i had never had the opportunity too. but, lets say, someone i trusted came up to me at a party or something and said hey, take a hit of this, i don't know that i would turn them down. honestly, i don't know.
anyways, not everyone shares my philosophy. i am just saying everyone should go roll at a rave some time. drugs are a huge part of raves. anyone who tells you otherwise is a moron. sure, you can go to raves without being on drugs, but not many people actually do. pretty much everyone is on something, and if they aren't, they are drunk or stoned. it is all a part of it. everyone should roll at their first rave, in my opinion. it will make it all that much more fantastic and over the top. raves are crazy anyways, but for me to go to my first rave, and then to roll at it, was just insanity. i had so much damn fun, it was like sensory and experience overload. i go to raves sober, and i have a hellzah fucking good time. but i go to raves under the influence of something, even if i am just drunk, and it adds a whole new element. a lot of people would not enjoy their first rave if they weren't rolling. it can be a little overwhelming, especially if you aren't so hardcore into techno like a few of us are. i think most people i know would just kind of be standing around, not knowing what to think of the insanity that is going on around them. it would be too much for them, and they wouldn't like it. but everyone has a good time if they are rolling. that is just a part of the drug. you will be happy, and you will enjoy anything that is going on around you. it is a way to break yourself into raves, so you don't just psych yourself out to begin with, because it is soooooo far from anything you have ever experienced.
so yeah, i am warped. yeah, i have experiemented with things some of you never thought you would. hell, i never thought i would. i was absolutely clean cut in 9th and 10th grade. no hooliganism, no nothing. i didn't even really think about drinking until i got to college. it took until halloween for me to actually drink. i almost smoked out once in high school, but it took until this last school year to actually toke up. when i was growing up, i was never going to do anything bad, because at that point it just didn't make any sense. DARE had done its job, and told me i would DIE if i did anything bad. still i was curious, just scared. so yeah, drinking didn't kill me, which got me thinking, and trying stuff. i am glad i did. it doesn't make sense to me that people don't experiement a little when they are in college. whatever, everyone has their own thing going on. i may not understand why someone else does something, but i am not going to knock them for it unless they attack me. i will just think about it, so i can further understand what i believe.
BLEYOTCH! crazyness. i have been having so much fun chilling with my roomates the past week or so. every where we go, it is just a good time. we don't have to be doing anything, but still we have fun. at least i do. i am glad i moved in with these punks. we just need trav coming along more, instead of having to work all the time :( i say we get drunk with trav tomorrow. have a trav party, and rent chicken porn and stuff. i feel kind of bad, because he isn't around, and i leave with someone, and then i come back and he is here, but we are done with the crazyness. then i read his blog later, and i am like, ahh man, that sucks. i guess a lot of it is the fact that he and i have completely opposite work schedules. he works like 3-11 and shit, and i work 8-4. i try to go to sleep around midnight (but usually fail), which gives us about a half hour after his drive home. then, i sit in my room on my computer :P weekends are good, we need to get super sloppy this weekend, i can feel it. i am talking straight 40 action.
speaking of 40's, steel reserve is the greatest shit on earth. it actually tastes decent, for a 40 in my opinion. i was highly impressed.
blah, my wrists hurt, i need to wrap this up. CD of the day is out, i don't want to do it anymore. i would just start repeating myself, if i haven't already. i had a pretty good run there. i only missed a few days in all that time. i only listen to so many cds though, and i was limiting all that to cds i have, in full, on my computer. i have a lot, i know, but a lot of them are techno, and very similar to eachother. so yeah, if i find a cd i like, i'll put it up, just because.
peace out, for tonight, i need to sleep, since i didn't really last night.
shit, i forgot to eat
i don't know, drugs are bad, blah blah, but they can be entertaining. its just like alcohol. the fact that some are illegal make some of them worse, or something. repeated use drills holes in your brain sure. excessive repeated use. excessive repeated alcohol drills holes in your liver. excessive repeated cigarettes drill holes in your lungs. but still, we drink and smoke :P all these organs are vital, but i am not going to screw them up enough to make a lasting difference on my life. life for me is about experiencing as much as possible. i don't want to look back in 3 years and say, wow, i never did that, and now i will never be able too because it is inappropriate. its like, i was talking to ryan a few days ago about what we would do if an opportunity presented itself. i think there are a lot of things i would do, that under normal circumstances i would say "i would never do that" because i had never had the opportunity too. but, lets say, someone i trusted came up to me at a party or something and said hey, take a hit of this, i don't know that i would turn them down. honestly, i don't know.
anyways, not everyone shares my philosophy. i am just saying everyone should go roll at a rave some time. drugs are a huge part of raves. anyone who tells you otherwise is a moron. sure, you can go to raves without being on drugs, but not many people actually do. pretty much everyone is on something, and if they aren't, they are drunk or stoned. it is all a part of it. everyone should roll at their first rave, in my opinion. it will make it all that much more fantastic and over the top. raves are crazy anyways, but for me to go to my first rave, and then to roll at it, was just insanity. i had so much damn fun, it was like sensory and experience overload. i go to raves sober, and i have a hellzah fucking good time. but i go to raves under the influence of something, even if i am just drunk, and it adds a whole new element. a lot of people would not enjoy their first rave if they weren't rolling. it can be a little overwhelming, especially if you aren't so hardcore into techno like a few of us are. i think most people i know would just kind of be standing around, not knowing what to think of the insanity that is going on around them. it would be too much for them, and they wouldn't like it. but everyone has a good time if they are rolling. that is just a part of the drug. you will be happy, and you will enjoy anything that is going on around you. it is a way to break yourself into raves, so you don't just psych yourself out to begin with, because it is soooooo far from anything you have ever experienced.
so yeah, i am warped. yeah, i have experiemented with things some of you never thought you would. hell, i never thought i would. i was absolutely clean cut in 9th and 10th grade. no hooliganism, no nothing. i didn't even really think about drinking until i got to college. it took until halloween for me to actually drink. i almost smoked out once in high school, but it took until this last school year to actually toke up. when i was growing up, i was never going to do anything bad, because at that point it just didn't make any sense. DARE had done its job, and told me i would DIE if i did anything bad. still i was curious, just scared. so yeah, drinking didn't kill me, which got me thinking, and trying stuff. i am glad i did. it doesn't make sense to me that people don't experiement a little when they are in college. whatever, everyone has their own thing going on. i may not understand why someone else does something, but i am not going to knock them for it unless they attack me. i will just think about it, so i can further understand what i believe.
BLEYOTCH! crazyness. i have been having so much fun chilling with my roomates the past week or so. every where we go, it is just a good time. we don't have to be doing anything, but still we have fun. at least i do. i am glad i moved in with these punks. we just need trav coming along more, instead of having to work all the time :( i say we get drunk with trav tomorrow. have a trav party, and rent chicken porn and stuff. i feel kind of bad, because he isn't around, and i leave with someone, and then i come back and he is here, but we are done with the crazyness. then i read his blog later, and i am like, ahh man, that sucks. i guess a lot of it is the fact that he and i have completely opposite work schedules. he works like 3-11 and shit, and i work 8-4. i try to go to sleep around midnight (but usually fail), which gives us about a half hour after his drive home. then, i sit in my room on my computer :P weekends are good, we need to get super sloppy this weekend, i can feel it. i am talking straight 40 action.
speaking of 40's, steel reserve is the greatest shit on earth. it actually tastes decent, for a 40 in my opinion. i was highly impressed.
blah, my wrists hurt, i need to wrap this up. CD of the day is out, i don't want to do it anymore. i would just start repeating myself, if i haven't already. i had a pretty good run there. i only missed a few days in all that time. i only listen to so many cds though, and i was limiting all that to cds i have, in full, on my computer. i have a lot, i know, but a lot of them are techno, and very similar to eachother. so yeah, if i find a cd i like, i'll put it up, just because.
peace out, for tonight, i need to sleep, since i didn't really last night.
shit, i forgot to eat
