Friday, August 17, 2001
i feel sometimes that i have no name. who am i? am i WAnk, or am I Ben. for some people, it is wierd to have them call me WAnk. it is really wierd to be introduced to people as WAnk, because i don't really associate my entire life with that name anymore. I have been trying to find a medium. like air, trav, dan, and the rest of my college homeys, it would be wierd to have them call me Ben, for a little while. likewise, if my highschool people called me WAnk, it would be wierd. i guess i am classifying myself as a Ben more and more these days. No longer am I WAnk, at least in person. anyone who calls me wank now, keep on going, i expect it, it would be wierd without it. but stop introducing me to people as wank, it makes for awkward silences, and an even more awkward explaination later, because there really is no explaination. it isn't that i really mind it, it is just that i have moved past that.
also, i more think of WAnk as my online persona. online, in im, irc, etc, i can be a completely different person. i am WAnk. i am no longer Ben. people i know online know me as WAnk, not ben, and they have certain expecations of what i am. it isn't too far from what i am in real life. i am definitely not chill, i have no one to impress visually. online, if you are chill, you aren't existant. you have to talk, have conversations, you can't just sit back and observe. so i don't. i am more like i was in high school, hyper, squirrely, random guy.
which one am i really? i guess it is kind of confusing. i want the part of WAnk that you guys don't associate with WAnk to be Ben..... or something
88888888888888 <-------- is this something anyone else does constantly? that is me trying to turn up my volume in winamp. when i am doing things, and listening to music, my things are always covered with lines of 8's and 2's from me trying to turn up or down my volume on winamp. kind of funny. i also get sporadic 5's and V's from trying to play and stop, and everyonce in a while 6's and 4's from next track, back track, etc. kind of funny, i think.
also, i more think of WAnk as my online persona. online, in im, irc, etc, i can be a completely different person. i am WAnk. i am no longer Ben. people i know online know me as WAnk, not ben, and they have certain expecations of what i am. it isn't too far from what i am in real life. i am definitely not chill, i have no one to impress visually. online, if you are chill, you aren't existant. you have to talk, have conversations, you can't just sit back and observe. so i don't. i am more like i was in high school, hyper, squirrely, random guy.
which one am i really? i guess it is kind of confusing. i want the part of WAnk that you guys don't associate with WAnk to be Ben..... or something
88888888888888 <-------- is this something anyone else does constantly? that is me trying to turn up my volume in winamp. when i am doing things, and listening to music, my things are always covered with lines of 8's and 2's from me trying to turn up or down my volume on winamp. kind of funny. i also get sporadic 5's and V's from trying to play and stop, and everyonce in a while 6's and 4's from next track, back track, etc. kind of funny, i think.
