Friday, August 24, 2001
to trav. a week ago, i didn't care about anything. everyone and everything was insignificant. i could have cared less. i was talking about needing a way out of depression, and i guess i found it. i didn't really want it to be anger, but what you going to do. so long depression.
and no, this rage was not inspired by one fucking traffic ticket. that just set me off. i am angry about other things at the moment. things i am not going to share here (yes there are things i won't blog about, believe it or not).
i need an outlet. i need something to direct anger towards. work was great today. there was this pile of mulch, and it wasn't in the right spot, so i got pissed at it, and moved it. thats actually not what happened, i just convinced myself that is what happened. i was actually supposed to wheelbarrow and spread the mulch. but FUCK THE MULCH. the mulch was pissing me off, so i got mad at it and took care of it. it was pretty damn satisfying. everyone was kind of looking at me funny though, scowlin at the pile of mulch and attacking it with a pitchfork. i got more done today than anyone else, even the over active people. it rocked.
god, this week better be fucking over. i am so sick of this week. what a shitty ass dick fuck of a week. i am angry at this week. i am angry at a lot of things. I am going to go home and direct my rage towards the remaining alcohol i have left.
oh yeah, the plan for saturday night. anyone else who wants to join me in my grand scheme can. i am going to go to the store, and steal a box of cold medicine. i am then going to take the entire box of cold medicine. if this doesn't destroy all of my braincells and send me into a coma, or destroy my stomach and send me to the hospital for pumpage, it should send me into a 13 hour long dex trip. so, i will be out of it, probably wandering seattle hallucinating fairly heavily. cough medicine sometimes contains Dextromethorphan (dex, DXM). dex is highly hallucinagenic. this is why your dreams are so whacked out when you take nyquil and stuff, and if you take anough cold medicine, you are really out of it, lots of tracers, etc. so, if you take enough cough medicine, you send yourself trippin. normally, this wreaks havoc on your insides. downing a bottle of robotussin really makes you nauseous for about an hour or so before the dex fully kicks in. but there is a solution. there is a cough medicin called coricidren (spelling is close enough) that will not make you nauseous if you take it in high doses. also, it is in pill form, so you don't have to swallow 6 ounces of nasty cough syrup, you can just drop 12 pills instead. you can trip without the major downside normally associated with dexing. anyways, thats what i am doing. i am getting completely fucking blasted friday night, and destroying the rest of my brain on sunday. i need to escape reality. anyone who thinks this is a bad idea? i know it is a bad idea, so save me your preaching. i have also been informed, that if you are truely going to dex, you have to steal it. you can't buy it.
wank out. if you see me before monday, i don't plan on remembering anyways, so check you later. that is if i manage to make it home without driving my car off a fucking bridge.
and no, this rage was not inspired by one fucking traffic ticket. that just set me off. i am angry about other things at the moment. things i am not going to share here (yes there are things i won't blog about, believe it or not).
i need an outlet. i need something to direct anger towards. work was great today. there was this pile of mulch, and it wasn't in the right spot, so i got pissed at it, and moved it. thats actually not what happened, i just convinced myself that is what happened. i was actually supposed to wheelbarrow and spread the mulch. but FUCK THE MULCH. the mulch was pissing me off, so i got mad at it and took care of it. it was pretty damn satisfying. everyone was kind of looking at me funny though, scowlin at the pile of mulch and attacking it with a pitchfork. i got more done today than anyone else, even the over active people. it rocked.
god, this week better be fucking over. i am so sick of this week. what a shitty ass dick fuck of a week. i am angry at this week. i am angry at a lot of things. I am going to go home and direct my rage towards the remaining alcohol i have left.
oh yeah, the plan for saturday night. anyone else who wants to join me in my grand scheme can. i am going to go to the store, and steal a box of cold medicine. i am then going to take the entire box of cold medicine. if this doesn't destroy all of my braincells and send me into a coma, or destroy my stomach and send me to the hospital for pumpage, it should send me into a 13 hour long dex trip. so, i will be out of it, probably wandering seattle hallucinating fairly heavily. cough medicine sometimes contains Dextromethorphan (dex, DXM). dex is highly hallucinagenic. this is why your dreams are so whacked out when you take nyquil and stuff, and if you take anough cold medicine, you are really out of it, lots of tracers, etc. so, if you take enough cough medicine, you send yourself trippin. normally, this wreaks havoc on your insides. downing a bottle of robotussin really makes you nauseous for about an hour or so before the dex fully kicks in. but there is a solution. there is a cough medicin called coricidren (spelling is close enough) that will not make you nauseous if you take it in high doses. also, it is in pill form, so you don't have to swallow 6 ounces of nasty cough syrup, you can just drop 12 pills instead. you can trip without the major downside normally associated with dexing. anyways, thats what i am doing. i am getting completely fucking blasted friday night, and destroying the rest of my brain on sunday. i need to escape reality. anyone who thinks this is a bad idea? i know it is a bad idea, so save me your preaching. i have also been informed, that if you are truely going to dex, you have to steal it. you can't buy it.
wank out. if you see me before monday, i don't plan on remembering anyways, so check you later. that is if i manage to make it home without driving my car off a fucking bridge.
