Friday, October 05, 2001
haha, sorry manuel. that was the only way i could sleep with myself last night, was to convince myself that it was all some psych experiment... and then i was like hey!!!! manuel works in one of those departments with a p at UW, it must be the psych department....
fuck me, why did i get freaked out! why was it so weird, i mean really. it is no wierder than someone krunking over to our place that i don't know, then talking to them. even if i do know them! apparently i have met this person before. if only i had a few more beers under my belt, i wouldn't have done that. i realized something last night. i have changed a lot in the past year or so, and not for the better. gone is my spontinaity, the whole reason i was 'fun' to hang around. i'm not the goofy guy who will do anything for a laugh, anything that might make life more interesting, even if it is just for a night or a few minutes. manuel called me last night, and normally with an offer like that, i would have just said "hell yes, where are you sending me." but i got scared. why? i don't know. i try not to complain about women in general, and in particular me not having one because i am doing nothing to correct the situation. even if i do absolutely nothing, which is what i am doing now, things like this happen to me every couple months. usually, i am either to stupid to notice what is going on until it is too later, or too scared to act, for fear that i could be wrong. for all my talk about skanks, etc, i am really clueless when it comes to women. i revert back to elementary school where i was too scared to be in the same room as girls, let alone talk to them.
why oh why wasn't ryan there last night!!! ;) all night i was kicking myself.
manuel, last night was the most interesting night i have had in a long time, because something out of the ordinary happened. even if nothing happened, and it was a small thing like a phone call, it added a nice little chaotic element. i have gotten into this pattern, go to work, go to bed, drink friday saturday, go to bed, go to work, etc, etc, etc. but last night you and miss x broke that up, and i wanted to thank you for it :) matt, b, shannon and I are just chilling at our house tonight, you should bring her over, haha.
i am adopting a new motto, WWRD. what would ryan do, haha. hopefully it will make for some more interesting times in the next few months...
fuck me, why did i get freaked out! why was it so weird, i mean really. it is no wierder than someone krunking over to our place that i don't know, then talking to them. even if i do know them! apparently i have met this person before. if only i had a few more beers under my belt, i wouldn't have done that. i realized something last night. i have changed a lot in the past year or so, and not for the better. gone is my spontinaity, the whole reason i was 'fun' to hang around. i'm not the goofy guy who will do anything for a laugh, anything that might make life more interesting, even if it is just for a night or a few minutes. manuel called me last night, and normally with an offer like that, i would have just said "hell yes, where are you sending me." but i got scared. why? i don't know. i try not to complain about women in general, and in particular me not having one because i am doing nothing to correct the situation. even if i do absolutely nothing, which is what i am doing now, things like this happen to me every couple months. usually, i am either to stupid to notice what is going on until it is too later, or too scared to act, for fear that i could be wrong. for all my talk about skanks, etc, i am really clueless when it comes to women. i revert back to elementary school where i was too scared to be in the same room as girls, let alone talk to them.
why oh why wasn't ryan there last night!!! ;) all night i was kicking myself.
manuel, last night was the most interesting night i have had in a long time, because something out of the ordinary happened. even if nothing happened, and it was a small thing like a phone call, it added a nice little chaotic element. i have gotten into this pattern, go to work, go to bed, drink friday saturday, go to bed, go to work, etc, etc, etc. but last night you and miss x broke that up, and i wanted to thank you for it :) matt, b, shannon and I are just chilling at our house tonight, you should bring her over, haha.
i am adopting a new motto, WWRD. what would ryan do, haha. hopefully it will make for some more interesting times in the next few months...
