Saturday, December 15, 2001
graaaaah, bllllllaaaaaahhhhhh waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........
christmas is all well and good, besides family obligations and stuff. i would be perfectly happy seeing my parents and my sister. that would be great. for some reason, you always have to see other people too. those other family and friends you don't really want to see or talk to, but you are obligated too because they are your family or friends of your parents. i hate my parents friends. i am not looking forward to being my parents age, because it seems much more difficult to make friends. the only realy friends my parents seem to have are from church. this of course makes it very awkward for me. my mom was very distraught when i told her i didn't want to got to church anymore when i was like 14. so what did she do? instead of really talking to me about it, she made up stories about how i had lost all my morals, and was turning for the worst, and proceeded to tell all her friends about it. of course, they all hate me now, and have taken me up like a charity case. when they aren't trying to ignore me, they are trying to convert me. also, they tell their kids that i am bad influence, and not to consort with hte likes of me. they basically exemplify everything i dislike about organized religion, which makes it very awkward for me. i hate it i hate it i hate it. it makes me hypocritical, because i hate them for hating me. but god damn. fuck it all. these people talk, about how god comes to them in dreams, and tells them what to do on a regular basis. god came to one of these women and named her first born son. god dammit, whenever they start talking, i either want to yell out in outrage, or start laughing uncontrollably. arrrrrrgggggg.......... sometimes life can just blow me. holidays are supposed to be happy.
btw, if any of you guys go to buffoonery.org, tell me so i can update your links :)
christmas is all well and good, besides family obligations and stuff. i would be perfectly happy seeing my parents and my sister. that would be great. for some reason, you always have to see other people too. those other family and friends you don't really want to see or talk to, but you are obligated too because they are your family or friends of your parents. i hate my parents friends. i am not looking forward to being my parents age, because it seems much more difficult to make friends. the only realy friends my parents seem to have are from church. this of course makes it very awkward for me. my mom was very distraught when i told her i didn't want to got to church anymore when i was like 14. so what did she do? instead of really talking to me about it, she made up stories about how i had lost all my morals, and was turning for the worst, and proceeded to tell all her friends about it. of course, they all hate me now, and have taken me up like a charity case. when they aren't trying to ignore me, they are trying to convert me. also, they tell their kids that i am bad influence, and not to consort with hte likes of me. they basically exemplify everything i dislike about organized religion, which makes it very awkward for me. i hate it i hate it i hate it. it makes me hypocritical, because i hate them for hating me. but god damn. fuck it all. these people talk, about how god comes to them in dreams, and tells them what to do on a regular basis. god came to one of these women and named her first born son. god dammit, whenever they start talking, i either want to yell out in outrage, or start laughing uncontrollably. arrrrrrgggggg.......... sometimes life can just blow me. holidays are supposed to be happy.
btw, if any of you guys go to buffoonery.org, tell me so i can update your links :)
