Thursday, January 10, 2002
ok, here is a quick list of things i find absolutely rediculous
1. Everything
that is all.
i mean, think about it. everything is rediculous. things are rediculous. stuff is just crazyness. i am not exactly sure where i am going with this, but rediculocity can be found in anything, if you really think about it. even simple things like the act of breathing, just crazy.... then you think about things that seem good, like tables. why are tables rediculous you ask? my answer is IKEA. IKEA is rediculous. whatever, i don't even know what i am talking about anymore.
today has been pretty stupid. stupid day. yesterday, my coworker was like i have nothing for you to do at the job site tomorrow, so you don't even have to bother showing up if you don't want. so i didn't. i ended up showing up at the office around 11, because i slept in longer than i really wanted too. usually i can sneak in, but there were people actually in my office today. so now they know i was really late, including the person i have to turn my time sheet into. i really wish i could just quit my job and do nothing for a living. that seems like such a great thing. i mean, last week, just beautiful. i loved it. did absolutely nothing. like in college. college was great, because i did NOTHING. i mean, everyonce in a while i would go to a test, but i just seemed out of place and angered, because it was interfering with the important nothing i was supposed to be doing back at my room. i don't know why, but i don't need a driving force behind my life. i am perfectly happy with nothing. most people need something. like matt, always has a girlfriend. bryan, he has his job and smoking cigarettes. me? what do i have? i have my balls to scratch, and that is about it, and usually i am too lazy to move my hands over too them. the only real thing i have to motivate me to do anything is kind of this stylized, morphed fear of rejection thing... it is this intense need for certain people to not be displeased with me. this is the reason i still go to work, because my coworkers would think less of me. it is not that my bosses ACTUALLY care, or are even around that much, it is more fear of my coworkers being upset. of course, i am also afraid of the person who does my checks being upset, but that is for different reasons. i do certain things out of necessity. like getting paid, this is necessary to pay rent. paying rent is necessary. eating, necessary. so i do these things, even though i don't really like doing them. if i had my choice, i wouldn't pay rent becaues it takes so much effort. of course, on the flipside, there are certain people who don't deserve to be pleased with me. there are some people who are just wankers who i want to be displeased with me. these people change all the time. so, when they are displeased with me, i am happy. if there is something that i can do, that will also make them more displeased with me, i will do it. of course, displeased is completely different from downright angry and enraged. i don't like people to be really really mad at me, because they do stupid things like burn down your house, or hit you in the face or call the cops or something.
i hate work. the only thing i like about work is i can blog from work. when i am at work, i feel slightly more motivated than at home, because i always have to be aware of where other people are, and whether they might sneak into my office or not. this keeps me a little more alert, and a little more motivated. so, i do things i normally don't do, like blog. i never blog from home anymore, because i don't have the motivation to actually open the damn thing up and start typing. that is always the hardest part about blogging, actually opening the damn page and beginning. so many times, i load the page even, and i'm like fuck this and i close it. i probably even had something to write, i just didn't want to stop writing. but at work, i can just sit here, and blahblah blahblahbalhb blah.... you get the idea. i wish people wouldn't come into my office, because then my day would be one long blogging session. i always am afraid when i am blogging because this page has this big title that says "In Sluts We Trust" so if people look at it, they are like what the hell are you doing!!!! so i am always on the look out when i have this thing open. if there was no one at all around, i would just be like, bloopblablooo, and there would be 10 pages of writing about random shit like this that would show up every day.
i also wish i didn't leave blogging to be the last thing of the day, because i always cut things off short so i can go home. so much more i wanted to say, but the urge of my house, and my shower, and my own computer where i can do anything i want is singing my name out in a glorious way right now....
1. Everything
that is all.
i mean, think about it. everything is rediculous. things are rediculous. stuff is just crazyness. i am not exactly sure where i am going with this, but rediculocity can be found in anything, if you really think about it. even simple things like the act of breathing, just crazy.... then you think about things that seem good, like tables. why are tables rediculous you ask? my answer is IKEA. IKEA is rediculous. whatever, i don't even know what i am talking about anymore.
today has been pretty stupid. stupid day. yesterday, my coworker was like i have nothing for you to do at the job site tomorrow, so you don't even have to bother showing up if you don't want. so i didn't. i ended up showing up at the office around 11, because i slept in longer than i really wanted too. usually i can sneak in, but there were people actually in my office today. so now they know i was really late, including the person i have to turn my time sheet into. i really wish i could just quit my job and do nothing for a living. that seems like such a great thing. i mean, last week, just beautiful. i loved it. did absolutely nothing. like in college. college was great, because i did NOTHING. i mean, everyonce in a while i would go to a test, but i just seemed out of place and angered, because it was interfering with the important nothing i was supposed to be doing back at my room. i don't know why, but i don't need a driving force behind my life. i am perfectly happy with nothing. most people need something. like matt, always has a girlfriend. bryan, he has his job and smoking cigarettes. me? what do i have? i have my balls to scratch, and that is about it, and usually i am too lazy to move my hands over too them. the only real thing i have to motivate me to do anything is kind of this stylized, morphed fear of rejection thing... it is this intense need for certain people to not be displeased with me. this is the reason i still go to work, because my coworkers would think less of me. it is not that my bosses ACTUALLY care, or are even around that much, it is more fear of my coworkers being upset. of course, i am also afraid of the person who does my checks being upset, but that is for different reasons. i do certain things out of necessity. like getting paid, this is necessary to pay rent. paying rent is necessary. eating, necessary. so i do these things, even though i don't really like doing them. if i had my choice, i wouldn't pay rent becaues it takes so much effort. of course, on the flipside, there are certain people who don't deserve to be pleased with me. there are some people who are just wankers who i want to be displeased with me. these people change all the time. so, when they are displeased with me, i am happy. if there is something that i can do, that will also make them more displeased with me, i will do it. of course, displeased is completely different from downright angry and enraged. i don't like people to be really really mad at me, because they do stupid things like burn down your house, or hit you in the face or call the cops or something.
i hate work. the only thing i like about work is i can blog from work. when i am at work, i feel slightly more motivated than at home, because i always have to be aware of where other people are, and whether they might sneak into my office or not. this keeps me a little more alert, and a little more motivated. so, i do things i normally don't do, like blog. i never blog from home anymore, because i don't have the motivation to actually open the damn thing up and start typing. that is always the hardest part about blogging, actually opening the damn page and beginning. so many times, i load the page even, and i'm like fuck this and i close it. i probably even had something to write, i just didn't want to stop writing. but at work, i can just sit here, and blahblah blahblahbalhb blah.... you get the idea. i wish people wouldn't come into my office, because then my day would be one long blogging session. i always am afraid when i am blogging because this page has this big title that says "In Sluts We Trust" so if people look at it, they are like what the hell are you doing!!!! so i am always on the look out when i have this thing open. if there was no one at all around, i would just be like, bloopblablooo, and there would be 10 pages of writing about random shit like this that would show up every day.
i also wish i didn't leave blogging to be the last thing of the day, because i always cut things off short so i can go home. so much more i wanted to say, but the urge of my house, and my shower, and my own computer where i can do anything i want is singing my name out in a glorious way right now....
