Saturday, February 02, 2002
the Robert Miles cd i have suddenly seems a lot more incredible.... i don't think i'll ever be able to listen too it in quite the same ways.
anyways, a night of new experiences and new people. a night i definitely did not expect, but was very welcome. i am interested to see what happens in the next few days, and weeks.
the funny thing is, on friday at work, i had this whole huuuuuuuge blog planned out about how i am not mad that i don't have a girlfriend because there has never been a time where i was actually looking for one. it was going to go into how it would be nice sometimes, to actually have a girlfriend because of little things like waking up next to a warm body. i was going to go through about how as nice as those things would be, they didn't really matter. i'm not saying my views or thought processes on the subject have really changed, they have just kind of shifted slightly.
last time i did a blog like that.... last time was like April 19th 2001 or something like that. of course, that was the night before the infamous 4/20, with frisbee golf and randomness in red square. last time i did a blog like that, i ended up with a girlfriend in less than two days. this time, i didn't even blog, and less than a day from the time i was actually going to post it up... I'm not going to go into details here. i'm still having trouble going into details inside my head.
it all seems fairly surreal. its like, i'm sitting here, and i feel like i am making these stories up in my head because i was really drunk last night and i need something to fill in the gaps of my memory. funny thing is, for as much as a i drank there isn't any point of last night i don't remember. there are no gaps to fill in. everything in my head actually happened. none of it was a dream. i guess that was what makes it all so surreal. the alcohol gave the entire night a somewhat dreamlike feeling. touch was a fairly important thing. like, you know where you have those dreams that seem so entirely real. everything is exactly how it would be in real life, but when you think back about it your sense of touch was the only thing that was a little off. during the dream it seems perfectly natural, because you are in such a deep subconcious state. but when you wake up and think about how real the dream was, the major differences is that anything that touched you wasn't quite how it should be. i have had a few dreams where this line was very very blurred. touch seemed real, so the dream actually seemed real. it was real to the point that i woke up, and checked to see if my clothes were still where i had put them the night before. so yeah, anyways, i was constantly checking to see if it was a dream or not.
i really don't feel like anything has changed. well, nothing really has yet. i am curious and a little frightened about what might happen here... i wanted something to shake things up, and this could be it. of course, now that something has happened, i'm a little wary towards change. there is, and always will be a slight apprehension towards change.
everything just seems so rediculous to me this morning. i guess that is my brain not wanting to believe what happened, and so it is giving everything around me a very humorous aspect.
peace out, check you all later
anyways, a night of new experiences and new people. a night i definitely did not expect, but was very welcome. i am interested to see what happens in the next few days, and weeks.
the funny thing is, on friday at work, i had this whole huuuuuuuge blog planned out about how i am not mad that i don't have a girlfriend because there has never been a time where i was actually looking for one. it was going to go into how it would be nice sometimes, to actually have a girlfriend because of little things like waking up next to a warm body. i was going to go through about how as nice as those things would be, they didn't really matter. i'm not saying my views or thought processes on the subject have really changed, they have just kind of shifted slightly.
last time i did a blog like that.... last time was like April 19th 2001 or something like that. of course, that was the night before the infamous 4/20, with frisbee golf and randomness in red square. last time i did a blog like that, i ended up with a girlfriend in less than two days. this time, i didn't even blog, and less than a day from the time i was actually going to post it up... I'm not going to go into details here. i'm still having trouble going into details inside my head.
it all seems fairly surreal. its like, i'm sitting here, and i feel like i am making these stories up in my head because i was really drunk last night and i need something to fill in the gaps of my memory. funny thing is, for as much as a i drank there isn't any point of last night i don't remember. there are no gaps to fill in. everything in my head actually happened. none of it was a dream. i guess that was what makes it all so surreal. the alcohol gave the entire night a somewhat dreamlike feeling. touch was a fairly important thing. like, you know where you have those dreams that seem so entirely real. everything is exactly how it would be in real life, but when you think back about it your sense of touch was the only thing that was a little off. during the dream it seems perfectly natural, because you are in such a deep subconcious state. but when you wake up and think about how real the dream was, the major differences is that anything that touched you wasn't quite how it should be. i have had a few dreams where this line was very very blurred. touch seemed real, so the dream actually seemed real. it was real to the point that i woke up, and checked to see if my clothes were still where i had put them the night before. so yeah, anyways, i was constantly checking to see if it was a dream or not.
i really don't feel like anything has changed. well, nothing really has yet. i am curious and a little frightened about what might happen here... i wanted something to shake things up, and this could be it. of course, now that something has happened, i'm a little wary towards change. there is, and always will be a slight apprehension towards change.
everything just seems so rediculous to me this morning. i guess that is my brain not wanting to believe what happened, and so it is giving everything around me a very humorous aspect.
peace out, check you all later
