Thursday, February 14, 2002
valentines day already? lol, seems funny :) valentines day is perhaps one of the silliest days of the year. i love the simpsons where they make fun of it by creating Love Day. i guess i am not really an anti-valentines person, per se. more of an anti-effort person, and doing stuff for valentines day requires effort and such.
life would be great, if i could just sit around and do nothing for a few months again. get myself out of the swing of things. give myself a reason to want to do something. if i could actually pull it off, i so would. the real world is expensive though. damn that realness.
work... work... blah. don't care. i should just go work at hollywood video or something. minium is what, $6.50 an hour or something? i wonder if that would be enough to pay rent and everything else. probably not, unless they made me a manager or something. they probably would, lol.
i can probably stick it out for a few more months, at least. fuck this new project though. it is a project i completely don't care about, and have no interest in actually carrying out. still, i am going to be forced to do it. i am going to have to meet this guy with a phd in botany in issaquah to set up a partnership to get things rolling. he does a lot of work for the epa, apparently. this guy is a real expert, and he will care if i don't care. i am so far beyond not caring about this project. i actually hate this project. i think it is stupid, and in no way worthwhile. i think it is going to be a waste of his, and what is infinitely more important, my time. what can i do. i work for a crazy woman. impossible is not a word she understands. she has always been wealthy, had things handed to her. now, she is infinitely wealthy. she has never had to really work, so as far as i can tell, she has no clue about how much workload people can handle, and what is actually feasible. she just has these grand ideas, which she vaguely explains to us, and then expects us to carry out. when someone disagrees with her, she either ignores said person, or gets very defensive and threatens to have them quit there job. i don't think she would actually fire anyone. we'll see if i can make that happen. anyways, i have to make up a list of prioritized plant species that are important to this project. kind of hard, when you think the project is a load of crap. none of them are important.
hmmm... i guess overall, i just don't like expectations. like, at work here, everyone has certain expectations of me. i am not a fan of being accountable for stuff. i would rather be accountable for myself. thats why i would make a good supervisor type figure. i could get other people to do stuff for me. that way there is no way i could really screw up directly. if there are no expectations, there is no failure. if there is no failure, there is no need to put in an effort striving for success. if there is effort, there is just sweet sweet lazyness. it all comes back to lazyness. i wish i could find a way to blackmail my job into sending me paychecks without actually having to go to work. project mayhem? bring it on.
life would be great, if i could just sit around and do nothing for a few months again. get myself out of the swing of things. give myself a reason to want to do something. if i could actually pull it off, i so would. the real world is expensive though. damn that realness.
work... work... blah. don't care. i should just go work at hollywood video or something. minium is what, $6.50 an hour or something? i wonder if that would be enough to pay rent and everything else. probably not, unless they made me a manager or something. they probably would, lol.
i can probably stick it out for a few more months, at least. fuck this new project though. it is a project i completely don't care about, and have no interest in actually carrying out. still, i am going to be forced to do it. i am going to have to meet this guy with a phd in botany in issaquah to set up a partnership to get things rolling. he does a lot of work for the epa, apparently. this guy is a real expert, and he will care if i don't care. i am so far beyond not caring about this project. i actually hate this project. i think it is stupid, and in no way worthwhile. i think it is going to be a waste of his, and what is infinitely more important, my time. what can i do. i work for a crazy woman. impossible is not a word she understands. she has always been wealthy, had things handed to her. now, she is infinitely wealthy. she has never had to really work, so as far as i can tell, she has no clue about how much workload people can handle, and what is actually feasible. she just has these grand ideas, which she vaguely explains to us, and then expects us to carry out. when someone disagrees with her, she either ignores said person, or gets very defensive and threatens to have them quit there job. i don't think she would actually fire anyone. we'll see if i can make that happen. anyways, i have to make up a list of prioritized plant species that are important to this project. kind of hard, when you think the project is a load of crap. none of them are important.
hmmm... i guess overall, i just don't like expectations. like, at work here, everyone has certain expectations of me. i am not a fan of being accountable for stuff. i would rather be accountable for myself. thats why i would make a good supervisor type figure. i could get other people to do stuff for me. that way there is no way i could really screw up directly. if there are no expectations, there is no failure. if there is no failure, there is no need to put in an effort striving for success. if there is effort, there is just sweet sweet lazyness. it all comes back to lazyness. i wish i could find a way to blackmail my job into sending me paychecks without actually having to go to work. project mayhem? bring it on.
