Wednesday, March 13, 2002
oh happy day!!!
blogger is working from work again. thusly i am here.
i am a big fan of cheesy dating shows, like blind date, the 5th wheel, and dismissed on mtv. they are great. there are usually these gorgeous women, and these cheesy guys doing everything they can to get into the girls pants. the girls are there looking for a good guy to hang out with and have a relationship with, while the guys are always after sex. when you really think about it, this is a fairly accurate mirror of the the whole dating shim sham. not that i am really in a position to talk, but if i were to go out with a girl, that is what i would be after. this would be my reason to go out on a date in the first place, to try and get some sex. i mean, from a guys perspective, isn't that what dating is about? trying to get some action?
just about everything in the male mind is driven by sex in one way or another. even if sex never happens, everything we do is based on the grand quest to get some girl in bed. the thing is, the end result is fairly anticlimatic, when you take into consideration the effort that was put in. in a social situation, it is rare for a guy to talk to a girl without any sexual intent. even if nothing happens, that is the whole reason to talk, try to hook up. at least that starts the conversation. even conversations with people they don't want to talk to, they do so they don't look bad blowing off some girl who might happen to be good friends with other girls at the party. i think everyone gets the idea, even if i had trouble articulating my exact thoughts
moral of the story, guys minds = sex. period.
if you aren't me, please ignore this sextion of the blog-
reminder to self, get ahold of ryan about barhopping.
ok, i know you all read that. i need to get ahold of ryan to see what is happening. march 22nd hopefully i can get together with him. it sounds like he hasn't reallly been out barhopping yet. i don't feel quite so bad about not making it up to bellingham this past sunday since they didn't go out, but i still feel bad. i need to make it up to him, especially if he hasn't been out to bars yet. maybe i can get a little posse of people like blake and jay and matt and bryan and such to go up with me, give him a seattle style 21 run. i know it would be a foreign idea to him with the not smoking out and getting trashed and all, but it needs to be done ;) it is the starting of their spring break, so my only hope is that a few drunk western sluts stay behind for that friday at least, before going off and turn into spring break sluts. i think ryan and i could have a lot of fun turning jay loose on people. i don't think he has ever seen jay hitting on girls. i remeber one party i went to with jay, where he was hellbent on getting digits. it was one of the funniest damn things i have ever seen. the great thing was, he was actually successful!! i also don't know if ryan drinks rum and coke yet. for a long time he didn't, because coke was such a sacred thing to him. OH GOD, TAINTED COKE he would tell me.... i forget if i gave him rum and coke at whistler or not. if i didn't, i'm going to force him to drink some, because rum and coke is perhaps the greatest thing ever. i also need to get him to have a liquid cocaine shot :) i had one on my night out with harm and bryan, and it was pretty good. it made my eyes water, but that was to be expected, since they do that all the time anyways. the trick will be finding a bar that actually knows how to make it. but yeah, he needs one of those....
fancy fancy wankin pants.... sometimes i wonder if i would actually have nice clothes if i didn't have a job that required me to be covered in mud constantly. i mean, i don't shower every day, because i get muddy every day and it doesn't really matter if i smell bad. so, most of the time, i just keep on my dirty clothes when i get home. the only time i actually dress in nondirty clothes is on weekends, and the usually consists of my pair of jeans i don't ever wear to work so it doesn't get trashed and this grey gap shirt i got for christmas like 3 years ago. would i actually have decent clothes if i could? i mean matt dresses fairly well in my opinion. granted, he has to look nice for work, but even when he isn't at work he has some nice clothes. i imagine shannon has helped a lot with that. maybe it is just his long black coat that i think is stylin. i guess it isn't as much the clothes, but whether i could keep up that stylish appearance. i mean, right now hygene really plays no role in my life, simply because it doesn't matter at all. like, i go to work dirty, and guess what, every one else is dirty too because we were all outside. i don't shave for a week? it doesn't matter, because my coworkers don't care at all. i guess my hair kind of tops it all off. i kind of like the disheveled look it always has, so the rest of me follows suit. what is the point of dressing all up if your hair looks all crazy and ruins the stylish thing anyways.
i don't mean to sound vain or anything, but these days i have a level of happyness and confidence i have never really had before. its like confidence leads to a little bit of cockyness, and cockyness leads to a little bit of vanity. it is such an alien feeling to say, look at myself in the mirror and think i look good just about every day. i don't think i have really changed, it is more of a mental thing. i'm not going to make any huge broad claims that i am hot or anything, but i don't think i am unattractive. at least, most of the time, i find myself to be good looking. of course there are some weeks, like this week, where i have blemishes up the wahoo and stuff, but that doesn't happen that often anymore. i always seem to have a few, but not the constant barrage that it was before.
workity work. today has turned into a pretty good day, because work hasn't really played a detrimental factor. in fact, work hasn't really played a factor at all. i mean, sure i am here now, but not really anyone else is. i am free. there is no one in my office, and none of my bosses are here. the fact that i was out all morning and people didn't know where i was didn't matter. of course, the fact that i was actually doing stuff this morning helps, but still.
i had a nice chat with two people who walk in one of the parks i work at everday today. i was out alone seeding the beds, and they were like where's everyone else!!! and i was like, oh, its just me today. and so they asked what i was doing, and i was like spreading seeds. they thought i said spreading weeds, which led to some good laughs. i explained to them why i was doing it, and they were like, thats great! and they thanked me for coming out and helping in the park. they were just nice. sometimes when i am working in the park, people see me, and see that i am young and working, and just brush me off as some punk who is out doing manual labor in the park. i don't claim to know a lot about environmental restoration, but i know more than people outside of the field. most people think i am just some random scrub the city sent out to pull weeds and haul mulch. really, at this park i am more or less in charge of things. like next monday, i'm going to be in charge. people walking past see me, and think i'm just working, but i'm not. i'm the man, i'm the one who knows what he is doing, who is telling everyone else where to go and what to do. thats why its cool sometimes, when people do stop to talk to me, and i can just explain a few things to them, and they get really impressed, or when people like these two people who know i'm out there a lot, and know whats going on stop to chat, and don't think of me as some random screw off. i mean, as much as i blow off work in the office at this job, out in the field i know what i'm doing, because i am out there doing it just about everyday. i mean, ryan could probably attest to this. if he had to jump into the role i have now, he would be able to do it, because he has been around it, doing the stuff. it isn't really that complicated with a little experience, or even just someone explaining it too you. it isn't rocket science....
i wish i could take a few months off of everything and sit down and write a book or something. i think that would be fun. even if it turned out like shit and i never showed anyone, i think i could enjoy that :) of course, we all know i would never have the motivation to actually follow through and finish it, but who knows. maybe writing is what i was meant to do. maybe i could stay motivated and actually write a book. i sincerely doubt i could, but you never know. some day, i will find something that holds my interest. at least i hope so... there has to be something. i just haven't found it yet.
blogger is working from work again. thusly i am here.
i am a big fan of cheesy dating shows, like blind date, the 5th wheel, and dismissed on mtv. they are great. there are usually these gorgeous women, and these cheesy guys doing everything they can to get into the girls pants. the girls are there looking for a good guy to hang out with and have a relationship with, while the guys are always after sex. when you really think about it, this is a fairly accurate mirror of the the whole dating shim sham. not that i am really in a position to talk, but if i were to go out with a girl, that is what i would be after. this would be my reason to go out on a date in the first place, to try and get some sex. i mean, from a guys perspective, isn't that what dating is about? trying to get some action?
just about everything in the male mind is driven by sex in one way or another. even if sex never happens, everything we do is based on the grand quest to get some girl in bed. the thing is, the end result is fairly anticlimatic, when you take into consideration the effort that was put in. in a social situation, it is rare for a guy to talk to a girl without any sexual intent. even if nothing happens, that is the whole reason to talk, try to hook up. at least that starts the conversation. even conversations with people they don't want to talk to, they do so they don't look bad blowing off some girl who might happen to be good friends with other girls at the party. i think everyone gets the idea, even if i had trouble articulating my exact thoughts
moral of the story, guys minds = sex. period.
if you aren't me, please ignore this sextion of the blog-
reminder to self, get ahold of ryan about barhopping.
ok, i know you all read that. i need to get ahold of ryan to see what is happening. march 22nd hopefully i can get together with him. it sounds like he hasn't reallly been out barhopping yet. i don't feel quite so bad about not making it up to bellingham this past sunday since they didn't go out, but i still feel bad. i need to make it up to him, especially if he hasn't been out to bars yet. maybe i can get a little posse of people like blake and jay and matt and bryan and such to go up with me, give him a seattle style 21 run. i know it would be a foreign idea to him with the not smoking out and getting trashed and all, but it needs to be done ;) it is the starting of their spring break, so my only hope is that a few drunk western sluts stay behind for that friday at least, before going off and turn into spring break sluts. i think ryan and i could have a lot of fun turning jay loose on people. i don't think he has ever seen jay hitting on girls. i remeber one party i went to with jay, where he was hellbent on getting digits. it was one of the funniest damn things i have ever seen. the great thing was, he was actually successful!! i also don't know if ryan drinks rum and coke yet. for a long time he didn't, because coke was such a sacred thing to him. OH GOD, TAINTED COKE he would tell me.... i forget if i gave him rum and coke at whistler or not. if i didn't, i'm going to force him to drink some, because rum and coke is perhaps the greatest thing ever. i also need to get him to have a liquid cocaine shot :) i had one on my night out with harm and bryan, and it was pretty good. it made my eyes water, but that was to be expected, since they do that all the time anyways. the trick will be finding a bar that actually knows how to make it. but yeah, he needs one of those....
fancy fancy wankin pants.... sometimes i wonder if i would actually have nice clothes if i didn't have a job that required me to be covered in mud constantly. i mean, i don't shower every day, because i get muddy every day and it doesn't really matter if i smell bad. so, most of the time, i just keep on my dirty clothes when i get home. the only time i actually dress in nondirty clothes is on weekends, and the usually consists of my pair of jeans i don't ever wear to work so it doesn't get trashed and this grey gap shirt i got for christmas like 3 years ago. would i actually have decent clothes if i could? i mean matt dresses fairly well in my opinion. granted, he has to look nice for work, but even when he isn't at work he has some nice clothes. i imagine shannon has helped a lot with that. maybe it is just his long black coat that i think is stylin. i guess it isn't as much the clothes, but whether i could keep up that stylish appearance. i mean, right now hygene really plays no role in my life, simply because it doesn't matter at all. like, i go to work dirty, and guess what, every one else is dirty too because we were all outside. i don't shave for a week? it doesn't matter, because my coworkers don't care at all. i guess my hair kind of tops it all off. i kind of like the disheveled look it always has, so the rest of me follows suit. what is the point of dressing all up if your hair looks all crazy and ruins the stylish thing anyways.
i don't mean to sound vain or anything, but these days i have a level of happyness and confidence i have never really had before. its like confidence leads to a little bit of cockyness, and cockyness leads to a little bit of vanity. it is such an alien feeling to say, look at myself in the mirror and think i look good just about every day. i don't think i have really changed, it is more of a mental thing. i'm not going to make any huge broad claims that i am hot or anything, but i don't think i am unattractive. at least, most of the time, i find myself to be good looking. of course there are some weeks, like this week, where i have blemishes up the wahoo and stuff, but that doesn't happen that often anymore. i always seem to have a few, but not the constant barrage that it was before.
workity work. today has turned into a pretty good day, because work hasn't really played a detrimental factor. in fact, work hasn't really played a factor at all. i mean, sure i am here now, but not really anyone else is. i am free. there is no one in my office, and none of my bosses are here. the fact that i was out all morning and people didn't know where i was didn't matter. of course, the fact that i was actually doing stuff this morning helps, but still.
i had a nice chat with two people who walk in one of the parks i work at everday today. i was out alone seeding the beds, and they were like where's everyone else!!! and i was like, oh, its just me today. and so they asked what i was doing, and i was like spreading seeds. they thought i said spreading weeds, which led to some good laughs. i explained to them why i was doing it, and they were like, thats great! and they thanked me for coming out and helping in the park. they were just nice. sometimes when i am working in the park, people see me, and see that i am young and working, and just brush me off as some punk who is out doing manual labor in the park. i don't claim to know a lot about environmental restoration, but i know more than people outside of the field. most people think i am just some random scrub the city sent out to pull weeds and haul mulch. really, at this park i am more or less in charge of things. like next monday, i'm going to be in charge. people walking past see me, and think i'm just working, but i'm not. i'm the man, i'm the one who knows what he is doing, who is telling everyone else where to go and what to do. thats why its cool sometimes, when people do stop to talk to me, and i can just explain a few things to them, and they get really impressed, or when people like these two people who know i'm out there a lot, and know whats going on stop to chat, and don't think of me as some random screw off. i mean, as much as i blow off work in the office at this job, out in the field i know what i'm doing, because i am out there doing it just about everyday. i mean, ryan could probably attest to this. if he had to jump into the role i have now, he would be able to do it, because he has been around it, doing the stuff. it isn't really that complicated with a little experience, or even just someone explaining it too you. it isn't rocket science....
i wish i could take a few months off of everything and sit down and write a book or something. i think that would be fun. even if it turned out like shit and i never showed anyone, i think i could enjoy that :) of course, we all know i would never have the motivation to actually follow through and finish it, but who knows. maybe writing is what i was meant to do. maybe i could stay motivated and actually write a book. i sincerely doubt i could, but you never know. some day, i will find something that holds my interest. at least i hope so... there has to be something. i just haven't found it yet.
