Friday, March 01, 2002
sitting around, nothing doing. good thing too, me and a few of my friends pushed back our barhop from last saturday to this saturday. it should be cool, one of them i have never actually drank with, and the other one i have had a lot of fun both time i have drank with him. that is, of course, if the other guy comes. i haven't actually really hung out with him that much before, but i think it would be a lot of fun to hit some bars with him now that i am legal and all that jazz. either way, i'm going out with at least one of my friends tomorrow. something we have been putting off for too long because of stupid "not being 21" and all... it is really annoying that he lives all the way in puyallup. that is a long way to drive, and we all know how lazy i really am. i really like him and the people he hangs out with. i still feel like kind of an outsider, but when i went to his house for the anti-valentines day party, and there was a card, and a cookie, and everyone was acting like they knew me and i belonged there, it really helped me loosen up. i think i didn't come off as a complete gomer this time, until all the sleeping arrangements were being worked out. i still feel like i blew it on that one. but whatever, i still had a lot of fun...
these are the nights that digital cable come in really handy. i almost saw if ryan was down for me coming up to bellingham, but decided not too because i was going out tomorrow and i didn't want to flake out on this one. it is really funny i didn't actually call up ryan, because i have flaked out on him so many damn times. it would have been cool to see him, but spring break is coming up, and if he doesn't come back, i'm going up there. it has been too damn long. digital cable fills a void. sometimes you need a night more or less to yourself. i am much less likely to sleep through the day in an hungover stupor if i sit around watching movies, and blogging of course :)
i don't know why i have been on such a kick lately. it seems like there are so many ideas running around in my head, and i feel like i should be putting them down on paper, or virtual paper as the case may be. the problem is, i am not sitting on the computer when these ideas come to me. my fingers cannot type as fast as my brain can work, so it is not a reasonable thing for me to leap out of my bed or my chair or whatever and just start typing. some times i really really wish i could stay focused for more than a few minutes. i guess i just have to accept the fact that i can't keep my mind on one thing for more than a few minutes. never have, never will be able to be. i was the kind of kid who ran around like a monkey on the playground. i would run around in church, i would run around in the grocery store, not paying attention to anything that was going on. i guess i have moved on from here, but the same kind of mindset still sticks with me. instead of letting my body follow my mindset, i let my mind run rampant, skipping from subject to subject, never pausing to pay attention to one thing for long enough to let it take a hold.
another thing that really ends up hacking me off.... i never have the need, or the motivation to actually follow up with any of my ideas. i never really do research to back these things up. i find this idea, and then i don't want to have to actually come up with reasons to support it. but then people ask me to explain myself, and i'm just like, uhhh uhhh... yeah... when you really think about it, why should i bother? just so someone else can try to dissect my idea, while i still can't even remember half of it myself? nah, i'm not really one for debate. i am content just thinking. i just wish i could keep some record of my thoughts, so i don't end up being redundant.
these are the nights that digital cable come in really handy. i almost saw if ryan was down for me coming up to bellingham, but decided not too because i was going out tomorrow and i didn't want to flake out on this one. it is really funny i didn't actually call up ryan, because i have flaked out on him so many damn times. it would have been cool to see him, but spring break is coming up, and if he doesn't come back, i'm going up there. it has been too damn long. digital cable fills a void. sometimes you need a night more or less to yourself. i am much less likely to sleep through the day in an hungover stupor if i sit around watching movies, and blogging of course :)
i don't know why i have been on such a kick lately. it seems like there are so many ideas running around in my head, and i feel like i should be putting them down on paper, or virtual paper as the case may be. the problem is, i am not sitting on the computer when these ideas come to me. my fingers cannot type as fast as my brain can work, so it is not a reasonable thing for me to leap out of my bed or my chair or whatever and just start typing. some times i really really wish i could stay focused for more than a few minutes. i guess i just have to accept the fact that i can't keep my mind on one thing for more than a few minutes. never have, never will be able to be. i was the kind of kid who ran around like a monkey on the playground. i would run around in church, i would run around in the grocery store, not paying attention to anything that was going on. i guess i have moved on from here, but the same kind of mindset still sticks with me. instead of letting my body follow my mindset, i let my mind run rampant, skipping from subject to subject, never pausing to pay attention to one thing for long enough to let it take a hold.
another thing that really ends up hacking me off.... i never have the need, or the motivation to actually follow up with any of my ideas. i never really do research to back these things up. i find this idea, and then i don't want to have to actually come up with reasons to support it. but then people ask me to explain myself, and i'm just like, uhhh uhhh... yeah... when you really think about it, why should i bother? just so someone else can try to dissect my idea, while i still can't even remember half of it myself? nah, i'm not really one for debate. i am content just thinking. i just wish i could keep some record of my thoughts, so i don't end up being redundant.
