Monday, September 16, 2002
Shwaaaaaa
so yes, wankdigglty, workblog for the first work since blog. its been months since i've blogged at work. tis a strange feeling, sitting down in my office again, pondering the universe and my place in it.
school starts really soon, like next wednesday. that is kind of sweet. i'm really looking forward to this whole part time work thing. i mean, you know how short my attention span is. i can't even keep hold of a thought long enough to finish a conversation without staring at the wall and getting distracted by something. and now i've been working full time for what, 8 months straight or something? before that it was like 35 hours a week? man o man, that is hardcore. how did i pull it off? its so funny how i have flip flopped back and forth from the whole "i hate work so much it makes me want to crap myself" thing to the whole "i tolerate work because the alternatives make me want to crap myself" thing. i go through such violent swings when it comes to work. there is very little in between time. it is always kind of a zen like moment, where i am just like, why do i hate work? then i'm all cool with it. then things just kind of build and build until one thing puts me over and i get really pissed and wonder how i could ever speak any kind words towards my job. it is really kind of funny when you think about it.
but jeez, work is funny right now. ryan is gone, this leaves us with 5 people. one of my coworkers is on a 3 week vacation, which leaves us at 4. one of my coworkers gave her 2 weeks a week ago which will leave us briefly at 3. i go part time, we are at 2.5. coworker gets back, 3.5. other coworker goes part time, 3.25. we have three and a quarter employees. when i was hired, i think me and ryan were the 16th and 17th employees on staff. i thought at one point we got to 20, but me and ryan can only remember about 18. so, we've gone from 17 or 18 to 3.25 since i have been here. holy shnikes.... at least now that i'm part time, they've kind of cut back on my duties. this is a very nice thing, because i was stressing a little about them. this was a silly thing to worry about, but i was. ahh well.
this weekend was kind of funny. it was extreeeeeemely freaking short, but funny nonetheless. friday, we went over to the dudes house, hoping to hang out and drink large quantities of beer. so we get there and proceed to do so. i have fun on the trampampoline, managing to almost land a flip, but hitting my legs hard enough to bounce backwards and land on my head. my neck still kind of hurts, but it probably looked pretty funny. eventually we head out to this party we were going to go too. its 11 blocks away, like right near our old house. pretty much everyone drives. i think this is funny. we made that walk a ton of times. it is really easy. you can do it in any state, sober, drunk, stoned, or otherwise. its actually kind of a refreshing walk. so, most of our friends drive over. we walk and stop by the SP mart for some cigarettes. we get to the party, me and matt are sitting on the porch waiting for ryan to finish his cigarette. we've been there around 45 seconds before arija comes out and yells at us for smoking. we were just like, that was fucking retarded. we kind of look at eachother, the other people on the porch are just kind of like WHAT THE FUCK! we are just like WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED. then we kind of looked at eachother and said fuck this and walked back to air and travs house, grabbed our beer, and went home. it was pretty funny. its kind of too bad, because apparently it was a typical band party. like apparently people were actually talking to people and such. normally, i hate UW band parties. if you are not in band, you will be ignored and looked down on. the band thinks they are these all knowning gods of fun and partying. they are no party slouches, i'll give them that, but most people at UW think they are absolute fuck heads because they throw cheesy parties that they try to make exclusive. its like, why bother throwing a party if you aren't going to socialize. i see parties as a way of rolling out with a group of friends to hang out with other people. if you are just hanging out with the group of friends you always hang out with, its not a party, even if you have a keg. but yeah, apparently it wasn't like that. i'll never know, will i :D
saturday was better. saturday was approaching classic level buffoonery. for how much we have calmed down in the past year or so, saturday was awesome. the great thing is, we weren't even very drunk, we were just kind of having fun. at one point we sent air and trav out to get sluts. they come back with some girl who trav works with. she was cute, but she wouldn't shut up about the stupid shit she does. none of us cared, she was trying to impress us but i don't think any of us were. we all put up with it as long as we could because she was fairly attractive, but shit she was annoying. eventually most of us tuned her out and went on our merry ways. we head out to safeway, in classic buffooned journey style. the walk there wasn't so eventful. it was fun, but nothing really happened that was even worth mentioning. hell, even in safeway nothing happened. but, as we came out, we saw manuel giving whoshername a ride on his motorcycle. we cheered and laughed at her. then this car, some little wannabe sporty thing like a ford probe squeeled out of the driveway in front of us and started yelling out the windows. they had a dozen longstemmed red roses on the roof of their car which promptly fell off. so, we were yelling at them and chasing them because they dropped their flowers. they took it as an opportunity to be badass, and sped off. so we were just like, ok, and jacked the roses. during this whole saga, we had also managed to snag a shopping cart. air got in the shopping cart and stayed in it until we got home. i think he made one pit stop at a bush, but yeah. there is a great picture of him and matt posing in front of the cart with a rose. it was an eventful journey. we got home, and i proceeded directly to the girl, and presented her with the 11 long stem roses (air had already eaten the other one). i spouted some cheesy line like "i got these 11 roses for you in memory of the 11 glorious minutes we have known each other." she got all "awwwwwwww" and "that is so sweet!!!!" on me. it was all i could do to keep from laughing. i don't think manuel and trav were toooo terribly pleased with me, but it had to be done. later, without knowing i had already given them too her, matt told her that we got her some roses at safeway. i hadn't even told him i was going to give them too her. apparently she was like "awwwwwWWWW" and hugged him or something, at which point we both start laughing. eventually the party kind of winds down in front of a movie and we stroll home, but good god, it was hilarious.
so, you say, where does all this new found belligerence towards women come from? i'm not really sure, but i think it is pretty funny. if nothing more, it is appropriate. if you look and really watch the interaction between women and anyone else, it is absolutely rediculous. women have a strangle hold on mens nuts, and they know it. the use this stranglehold for evil, not for good. it has turned them into petty, needy creatures who aren't afraid to use idle threats and fake emotions to get their victim of the moment to do their evil bidding. this may be fairly melodramatic, but it doesn't hit too far from the truth. it is extremely entertaining to watch from the sidelines. i think deep down, every woman wishes she was trapped in some sort of soap opera, sleeping with two twin brothers and a female siamese cat who has had a sex change and loads of plasic surgery so it now looks like a third brother against her knowledge. the really funny part is how we guys are sucked into it. once we see a girl, any bad trait slips away, and we dive blindly in with basically one thing on our mind: get some sex. men have very one track minds. pretty much everything in our lives revolves around sex or food. if we could be eating while having sex, we would never leave the bedroom. women make this whole big deal about relationships, and fate, and being in love, and analyzing everything, while men are just in it and putting up with it to some level because you need a girl to have sex with. if you don't have a girl, sex gets complicated. guys don't really understand the whole relationship game, and for good reason, so we stumble around trying to please our significant other so they won't leave us, and we won't be left without sex. i mean really, you can boil down the mans interest in the relationship down to that one thing, sex. men fall in love just about every day. eventually some woman falls in love back and is willing to quit bitching about a lot of things long enough for the guy to commit, so they get married.
jeez, i'm sounding belligerent, this is great :D the funny thing is, i don't even have relationships or girlfriends. i haven't REALLY been hurt to the point of emotional scarring. i am just sick and tired of seeing my friends get jerked around by women. women are great! women are probably some of the coolest people in the world, until they are in a relationship. like, in high school. i watched this one girl one by one singlehandedly destroy the hearts of pretty much all my friends. she started in 9th grade, and kept rolling through on this path of destruction. it is a painful thing to watch, especially when you know what is going to happen in the end. sure it was a good ride while it lasted, but was it really worth the suffering in the end? it probably was, its just painful from the friends perspective to watch people go through it. when she ended up in these relationships, just kind strung these guys along until she got bored and then just dropped them.
its like, when you are a guy, and you are in a relationship, you can't win on a personal level. you end up winning in the end on a purely sexual level, which is a great victory for any man. but in terms of anything else, nothing you can do will be good enough. if you turn yourself into a slave, the girl complains about walking all over you. if you don't do something exactly how the girl wants it, on the otherhand, she will get pissed at you and start yelling about how you don't appreciate her or respect her. its a no win situation, and if you try to argue your case, you dig yourself deeper. basically, daytime in a relationship is spent tiptoeing around, trying to avoid conflict so you can slip peacefully in bed at night.
the really funny thing is, it ends up being all worthwhile in the end, because sex pretty much rules, and somehow we form this bond with people we are having sex with, which turns into companionship. and most importantly, once you have sex, you reallly realllllly don't want to lose it, because the prospect of no sex is very painful.
i really respect guys who have the willpower to turn down sex. not just turn down sex to begin with, but like have a 1 night stand and not call back. or be in a relationship, and straight up say "i don't think this is going to work out" because they don't want to put up with the shit and leave. not asshole guys who take advantage of drunk women, but guys who like and enjoy women, but aren't afraid to put one in her place. every once in a while, you will see one of these guys on blind date or fifth wheel, or elimidate, or one of those great dating shows. you end up just cheering for him, because he is a beacon of hope for men everywhere. it shows that we can have the upperhand, even if it is just for a moment.
there was this one blind date that makes me grin in pride every time i think of it. there was this fake little starlet who couldn't stop talking about how cute she was and all the things she does. the guy obviously didn't care, because she was full of shit. she was a "professional skateboarder" but then she tried to do some tricks, and she was terrible. like, she could barely stand on the thing. basically, she was the booth babe hotty they take around to competitions with the skate comapany's logo plastered on her breasts and ass. so eventually they are driving around, and he's asking about her being a skateboarder, because obviously sucks, and eventually she was talking about her sponsorship and how great she was, and the guy was like wow, you are famous. and she was like yeah, pretty much. and so he stops the car at an intersection, and was yelling famous person, right here, look we have a famous person, and was pointing at her. it was so glorious, it was hilarious.... Ben from california, we salute you.
so yes, wankdigglty, workblog for the first work since blog. its been months since i've blogged at work. tis a strange feeling, sitting down in my office again, pondering the universe and my place in it.
school starts really soon, like next wednesday. that is kind of sweet. i'm really looking forward to this whole part time work thing. i mean, you know how short my attention span is. i can't even keep hold of a thought long enough to finish a conversation without staring at the wall and getting distracted by something. and now i've been working full time for what, 8 months straight or something? before that it was like 35 hours a week? man o man, that is hardcore. how did i pull it off? its so funny how i have flip flopped back and forth from the whole "i hate work so much it makes me want to crap myself" thing to the whole "i tolerate work because the alternatives make me want to crap myself" thing. i go through such violent swings when it comes to work. there is very little in between time. it is always kind of a zen like moment, where i am just like, why do i hate work? then i'm all cool with it. then things just kind of build and build until one thing puts me over and i get really pissed and wonder how i could ever speak any kind words towards my job. it is really kind of funny when you think about it.
but jeez, work is funny right now. ryan is gone, this leaves us with 5 people. one of my coworkers is on a 3 week vacation, which leaves us at 4. one of my coworkers gave her 2 weeks a week ago which will leave us briefly at 3. i go part time, we are at 2.5. coworker gets back, 3.5. other coworker goes part time, 3.25. we have three and a quarter employees. when i was hired, i think me and ryan were the 16th and 17th employees on staff. i thought at one point we got to 20, but me and ryan can only remember about 18. so, we've gone from 17 or 18 to 3.25 since i have been here. holy shnikes.... at least now that i'm part time, they've kind of cut back on my duties. this is a very nice thing, because i was stressing a little about them. this was a silly thing to worry about, but i was. ahh well.
this weekend was kind of funny. it was extreeeeeemely freaking short, but funny nonetheless. friday, we went over to the dudes house, hoping to hang out and drink large quantities of beer. so we get there and proceed to do so. i have fun on the trampampoline, managing to almost land a flip, but hitting my legs hard enough to bounce backwards and land on my head. my neck still kind of hurts, but it probably looked pretty funny. eventually we head out to this party we were going to go too. its 11 blocks away, like right near our old house. pretty much everyone drives. i think this is funny. we made that walk a ton of times. it is really easy. you can do it in any state, sober, drunk, stoned, or otherwise. its actually kind of a refreshing walk. so, most of our friends drive over. we walk and stop by the SP mart for some cigarettes. we get to the party, me and matt are sitting on the porch waiting for ryan to finish his cigarette. we've been there around 45 seconds before arija comes out and yells at us for smoking. we were just like, that was fucking retarded. we kind of look at eachother, the other people on the porch are just kind of like WHAT THE FUCK! we are just like WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED. then we kind of looked at eachother and said fuck this and walked back to air and travs house, grabbed our beer, and went home. it was pretty funny. its kind of too bad, because apparently it was a typical band party. like apparently people were actually talking to people and such. normally, i hate UW band parties. if you are not in band, you will be ignored and looked down on. the band thinks they are these all knowning gods of fun and partying. they are no party slouches, i'll give them that, but most people at UW think they are absolute fuck heads because they throw cheesy parties that they try to make exclusive. its like, why bother throwing a party if you aren't going to socialize. i see parties as a way of rolling out with a group of friends to hang out with other people. if you are just hanging out with the group of friends you always hang out with, its not a party, even if you have a keg. but yeah, apparently it wasn't like that. i'll never know, will i :D
saturday was better. saturday was approaching classic level buffoonery. for how much we have calmed down in the past year or so, saturday was awesome. the great thing is, we weren't even very drunk, we were just kind of having fun. at one point we sent air and trav out to get sluts. they come back with some girl who trav works with. she was cute, but she wouldn't shut up about the stupid shit she does. none of us cared, she was trying to impress us but i don't think any of us were. we all put up with it as long as we could because she was fairly attractive, but shit she was annoying. eventually most of us tuned her out and went on our merry ways. we head out to safeway, in classic buffooned journey style. the walk there wasn't so eventful. it was fun, but nothing really happened that was even worth mentioning. hell, even in safeway nothing happened. but, as we came out, we saw manuel giving whoshername a ride on his motorcycle. we cheered and laughed at her. then this car, some little wannabe sporty thing like a ford probe squeeled out of the driveway in front of us and started yelling out the windows. they had a dozen longstemmed red roses on the roof of their car which promptly fell off. so, we were yelling at them and chasing them because they dropped their flowers. they took it as an opportunity to be badass, and sped off. so we were just like, ok, and jacked the roses. during this whole saga, we had also managed to snag a shopping cart. air got in the shopping cart and stayed in it until we got home. i think he made one pit stop at a bush, but yeah. there is a great picture of him and matt posing in front of the cart with a rose. it was an eventful journey. we got home, and i proceeded directly to the girl, and presented her with the 11 long stem roses (air had already eaten the other one). i spouted some cheesy line like "i got these 11 roses for you in memory of the 11 glorious minutes we have known each other." she got all "awwwwwwww" and "that is so sweet!!!!" on me. it was all i could do to keep from laughing. i don't think manuel and trav were toooo terribly pleased with me, but it had to be done. later, without knowing i had already given them too her, matt told her that we got her some roses at safeway. i hadn't even told him i was going to give them too her. apparently she was like "awwwwwWWWW" and hugged him or something, at which point we both start laughing. eventually the party kind of winds down in front of a movie and we stroll home, but good god, it was hilarious.
so, you say, where does all this new found belligerence towards women come from? i'm not really sure, but i think it is pretty funny. if nothing more, it is appropriate. if you look and really watch the interaction between women and anyone else, it is absolutely rediculous. women have a strangle hold on mens nuts, and they know it. the use this stranglehold for evil, not for good. it has turned them into petty, needy creatures who aren't afraid to use idle threats and fake emotions to get their victim of the moment to do their evil bidding. this may be fairly melodramatic, but it doesn't hit too far from the truth. it is extremely entertaining to watch from the sidelines. i think deep down, every woman wishes she was trapped in some sort of soap opera, sleeping with two twin brothers and a female siamese cat who has had a sex change and loads of plasic surgery so it now looks like a third brother against her knowledge. the really funny part is how we guys are sucked into it. once we see a girl, any bad trait slips away, and we dive blindly in with basically one thing on our mind: get some sex. men have very one track minds. pretty much everything in our lives revolves around sex or food. if we could be eating while having sex, we would never leave the bedroom. women make this whole big deal about relationships, and fate, and being in love, and analyzing everything, while men are just in it and putting up with it to some level because you need a girl to have sex with. if you don't have a girl, sex gets complicated. guys don't really understand the whole relationship game, and for good reason, so we stumble around trying to please our significant other so they won't leave us, and we won't be left without sex. i mean really, you can boil down the mans interest in the relationship down to that one thing, sex. men fall in love just about every day. eventually some woman falls in love back and is willing to quit bitching about a lot of things long enough for the guy to commit, so they get married.
jeez, i'm sounding belligerent, this is great :D the funny thing is, i don't even have relationships or girlfriends. i haven't REALLY been hurt to the point of emotional scarring. i am just sick and tired of seeing my friends get jerked around by women. women are great! women are probably some of the coolest people in the world, until they are in a relationship. like, in high school. i watched this one girl one by one singlehandedly destroy the hearts of pretty much all my friends. she started in 9th grade, and kept rolling through on this path of destruction. it is a painful thing to watch, especially when you know what is going to happen in the end. sure it was a good ride while it lasted, but was it really worth the suffering in the end? it probably was, its just painful from the friends perspective to watch people go through it. when she ended up in these relationships, just kind strung these guys along until she got bored and then just dropped them.
its like, when you are a guy, and you are in a relationship, you can't win on a personal level. you end up winning in the end on a purely sexual level, which is a great victory for any man. but in terms of anything else, nothing you can do will be good enough. if you turn yourself into a slave, the girl complains about walking all over you. if you don't do something exactly how the girl wants it, on the otherhand, she will get pissed at you and start yelling about how you don't appreciate her or respect her. its a no win situation, and if you try to argue your case, you dig yourself deeper. basically, daytime in a relationship is spent tiptoeing around, trying to avoid conflict so you can slip peacefully in bed at night.
the really funny thing is, it ends up being all worthwhile in the end, because sex pretty much rules, and somehow we form this bond with people we are having sex with, which turns into companionship. and most importantly, once you have sex, you reallly realllllly don't want to lose it, because the prospect of no sex is very painful.
i really respect guys who have the willpower to turn down sex. not just turn down sex to begin with, but like have a 1 night stand and not call back. or be in a relationship, and straight up say "i don't think this is going to work out" because they don't want to put up with the shit and leave. not asshole guys who take advantage of drunk women, but guys who like and enjoy women, but aren't afraid to put one in her place. every once in a while, you will see one of these guys on blind date or fifth wheel, or elimidate, or one of those great dating shows. you end up just cheering for him, because he is a beacon of hope for men everywhere. it shows that we can have the upperhand, even if it is just for a moment.
there was this one blind date that makes me grin in pride every time i think of it. there was this fake little starlet who couldn't stop talking about how cute she was and all the things she does. the guy obviously didn't care, because she was full of shit. she was a "professional skateboarder" but then she tried to do some tricks, and she was terrible. like, she could barely stand on the thing. basically, she was the booth babe hotty they take around to competitions with the skate comapany's logo plastered on her breasts and ass. so eventually they are driving around, and he's asking about her being a skateboarder, because obviously sucks, and eventually she was talking about her sponsorship and how great she was, and the guy was like wow, you are famous. and she was like yeah, pretty much. and so he stops the car at an intersection, and was yelling famous person, right here, look we have a famous person, and was pointing at her. it was so glorious, it was hilarious.... Ben from california, we salute you.
