Tuesday, September 17, 2002
today was one of the stupidest days in history. this week is proving to be one of the stupidest weeks in history, i knew this at about 10 am yesterday.
i don't want to do anything for the next month or so, that would be seriously awesome. i wish i wish i wish.
life has this wierd repetative quality. its like, we are robots programmed to do a set sequence of things over and over again. every once in a while we have to do something else and it throws us all out of whack. but i look towards the future, and my possibilities are what.... find a job, find a career, find a wife, have a family. you can't function in society with out money. this amount of money goes up all the time. it is a fucking rediculous amount. to have money, you need a job, and to have stability and to keep this amount of money you need a career. which means you need to do the same thing every day for some odd freaking huge number of years. why does this seem attractive to people? why do people strive for a career? to me a career seems like a step backwards. you are forced to do something you probably hate for the rest of your life. granted some people like their jobs, but i'm willing to be the majority of people either hate them, or don't care, and indifference usually leads to annoyance which leads to hatred on large enough timeline.
wife and family, meh, necessary. the whole need to pass on your genes thing. the whole need companionship thing. eventually it will get to the point where all my friends have wives and families of their own, because thats just what happens. the role of a girlfriend so to speak can be filled by friends to some degree, someone to hang out and talk with. but when everyone grows up, i'll have nothing. maybe meeting someone for a drink every once in a while. i'll be forced to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, because i will be too grown up to have friends and hang out, and therefore won't have any sort of social outlet besides my wife and children. this is kind of a humbling concept, forced into solitude. it is bound to happen, as cool as i think i am.
why do i think about my future. after the age of about 19, the future tends to be fairly depressing to think about ;)
i don't want to do anything for the next month or so, that would be seriously awesome. i wish i wish i wish.
life has this wierd repetative quality. its like, we are robots programmed to do a set sequence of things over and over again. every once in a while we have to do something else and it throws us all out of whack. but i look towards the future, and my possibilities are what.... find a job, find a career, find a wife, have a family. you can't function in society with out money. this amount of money goes up all the time. it is a fucking rediculous amount. to have money, you need a job, and to have stability and to keep this amount of money you need a career. which means you need to do the same thing every day for some odd freaking huge number of years. why does this seem attractive to people? why do people strive for a career? to me a career seems like a step backwards. you are forced to do something you probably hate for the rest of your life. granted some people like their jobs, but i'm willing to be the majority of people either hate them, or don't care, and indifference usually leads to annoyance which leads to hatred on large enough timeline.
wife and family, meh, necessary. the whole need to pass on your genes thing. the whole need companionship thing. eventually it will get to the point where all my friends have wives and families of their own, because thats just what happens. the role of a girlfriend so to speak can be filled by friends to some degree, someone to hang out and talk with. but when everyone grows up, i'll have nothing. maybe meeting someone for a drink every once in a while. i'll be forced to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, because i will be too grown up to have friends and hang out, and therefore won't have any sort of social outlet besides my wife and children. this is kind of a humbling concept, forced into solitude. it is bound to happen, as cool as i think i am.
why do i think about my future. after the age of about 19, the future tends to be fairly depressing to think about ;)
