Wednesday, November 20, 2002
WAH WAH WAH, WANK WANKSAUSTED
ok, the past week or so has been shat as a shat. i've been having a bad past few weeks. i don't really have a reason. i'm just on the down side of my severe mood swings. also, i had no weekend, and i can't sleep. thus, i'm tired.
i'm also confused, i have no idea what to do. like, shit. i hate my job, but could i actually go through the whole learning process of a new job, fuck, a new career? i mean, i'm pretty lazy, am i going to have the mental stamina to go through the first few months of being a first time bartender? oh yeah, on a side note, i've been going to bartending school. its 2 weekends, 7 hours a day on saturday and sunday. apparently i take the test this sunday, but i don't know. they haven't been too forthcoming with details like that, which is ok. stuff i don't want to worry too much about now. its a pretty laid back thing, its nice. i really think i would make a great bartender, if i could remember all the drinks, and get a job. they have job placement, but its more like, here are some places that are hiring, you should talk to them type of thing. honestly, i don't think finding a job as a bartender will be that hard. but back to the lazy factor.... i really don't like my job now, but what will win out? the easy thing to do would be to stick at my current job, and let it keep sucking. i've put up with it for this long. but why would i do that. bartending, more fun, less hours, more money, aligned with my natural sleeping schedule, etc etc etc. it is perfect for me. why would i not become a bartender, especially after i pass the class? i dunno, because i'm stupid? why did i neglect to call those 3 girls from the halloween party? i'm lazy...... but this is different. this is actually something i started and followed through with. fuck me, i even called the bartending school and enrolled. i CALLED them. if you know me, you know that is huge. me picking up a phone....
so yeah, i'm gonna be a bartender soon. that is pretty damn sweet. no free drinks, they come out of my tips, and that is money out of my pocket. why should i pay for people to drink while i'm at work? well, it depends on a lot of things. if someone brings a bunch of people to my bar, especially chicks, and i know i'm gonna make tons of tips off them, i'd probably buy them a drink out of my tip jar. our instructor was talking to us about stuff like this on sunday, he made a lot of sense. he was a really cool guy, i learned a lot from him, like, the reality side of being a bartender. i left his class feeling really good about the whole thing.
so yeah, about this not sleeping thing. it is ass. i've gotten about 4 hours of sleep in the last 2 nights. i'm exausted. last night, i slept about an hour, maybe 2. but in this hour, i had this fucking crazy dream. i still remember most of it vividly. it was inspired by 24, i know it. it was a sweet dream though. a bunch of people, let me try to remember who they were..... i know me, mike, eric, radtke and jay from high school were in it. i know manuel was in it, but only because he has a motorcycle (we were riding motorcycles for a large portion of it). so yeah, we were tooling around downtown seattle. not the real version, but my cool fake dream version. it kind of had this rundown futuristic urban vibe too it. the viaduct wasn't there, so there was a big waterfront. things connected differently, and there was a big mall and a movie theater up in the beacon hill area. so anyways, we were all tooling around in this mob. 4 of us got seperated from the others, and mike picked a fight with these 3 huge scary guys with guns. so we fucking ran. we had to drag mike with us. but we ran. a bunch of us were in a pickup truck, but mike and jay hopped on motorcycles. manuel was like fuck this, and rode off in a different direction on his. one of the dudes followed him and some other car he was with in a truck. the rest of us booked out, followed by 2 of the guys in another truck or something. at one point i was like fuck this, and i jumped on a motorcycle out of the back of the truck to try and show mike and jay how to ride. but instead, they were gomers and just wanked around. so i just booked off by myself. someone on a motorcycle was chasing me, but i schooled him. we all met up at this mall, and tried to hide in this movie theater. but one of the guys saw, and came flying at mike from above us on the aisle. but mike just grabbed him, smashed him up against the wall and then threw him on the ground. so he was just fucked up, like he got owned. mike was a badass in the entire dream, until he got killed later, but thats a different story. me and eric were like fuck this, we are going to get shot because they are picking fights. then radtke pretended to jump mike and got tossed. it was hilarious, because it is something that would happen. anyways, me and eric hopped on our bikes, and ran out. mike went in front of us, and ended up killing the other guy and leaving him on a freeway. we rolled up to the dead body, and decided to throw him off the bridge at some guy. so we toss this body, and almost hit this dude on the railroad tracks. he gets really pissed so we book out. we get down to the waterfront, and the dude runs up to me and tells me this whole story about this bomb, and the dude we threw at him, and how we wouldn't be able to deactivate the bomb because of me. so i am like what the fuck, but he is serious, so me and this girl i had just met ran for cover. she looked a lot like nina from 24. so, i get down, and there is this huge shaking, things falling, etc. i'm just like, ok, what the hell was that, and i look up, and there is this mushroom cloud coming from the renton area. so i'm like oh shit, because i see this wave of destruction coming towards me, so i get down, and the girl gets down, and then there was this intense period where i was getting blasted by bricks and shit from the explosion. i get up, i get her up, i'm like we have to get out of here. i'm not sure why we had to leave, but we did. anyways, this dude wanders up, and its her dad, so we jack this boat to leave. apparently they are like, spys or something. somehow, we end up on the top of a sky scraper, in our boat, and like, the boat falls off because the dad is driving and is a knob and doesn't realize we are on a skyscraper. no problem for them, they are spys, they are used to falling off skyscrapers and shit. but not me, i'm afraid of heights, so i'm just like FUCK!!! i grab on to something, and they kind of coast down the side of the building past me on these wierd plastic solid awning things that look like those dogtoys that you throw in the water and such, but i'm like hanging off the edge. they are like creeping from thing to thing, and i'm just hanging on, trying to get back on without falling to my death. then i wake up sweating and panting, and about ready to scream because of the crazyness.
i feel guilty today, because i was responsible for the destruction of the greater seattle area :p sorry about that guys. i have dreams like this every once in a while, were something catastrophic happens, and i'm trying to do something but can't, and end up getting fucked in the end. and i remember them vividly, even years after i had them.....
fuck it all, i was going to write about something else but i don't want to any more. sorry again about getting everyone blown up
ok, the past week or so has been shat as a shat. i've been having a bad past few weeks. i don't really have a reason. i'm just on the down side of my severe mood swings. also, i had no weekend, and i can't sleep. thus, i'm tired.
i'm also confused, i have no idea what to do. like, shit. i hate my job, but could i actually go through the whole learning process of a new job, fuck, a new career? i mean, i'm pretty lazy, am i going to have the mental stamina to go through the first few months of being a first time bartender? oh yeah, on a side note, i've been going to bartending school. its 2 weekends, 7 hours a day on saturday and sunday. apparently i take the test this sunday, but i don't know. they haven't been too forthcoming with details like that, which is ok. stuff i don't want to worry too much about now. its a pretty laid back thing, its nice. i really think i would make a great bartender, if i could remember all the drinks, and get a job. they have job placement, but its more like, here are some places that are hiring, you should talk to them type of thing. honestly, i don't think finding a job as a bartender will be that hard. but back to the lazy factor.... i really don't like my job now, but what will win out? the easy thing to do would be to stick at my current job, and let it keep sucking. i've put up with it for this long. but why would i do that. bartending, more fun, less hours, more money, aligned with my natural sleeping schedule, etc etc etc. it is perfect for me. why would i not become a bartender, especially after i pass the class? i dunno, because i'm stupid? why did i neglect to call those 3 girls from the halloween party? i'm lazy...... but this is different. this is actually something i started and followed through with. fuck me, i even called the bartending school and enrolled. i CALLED them. if you know me, you know that is huge. me picking up a phone....
so yeah, i'm gonna be a bartender soon. that is pretty damn sweet. no free drinks, they come out of my tips, and that is money out of my pocket. why should i pay for people to drink while i'm at work? well, it depends on a lot of things. if someone brings a bunch of people to my bar, especially chicks, and i know i'm gonna make tons of tips off them, i'd probably buy them a drink out of my tip jar. our instructor was talking to us about stuff like this on sunday, he made a lot of sense. he was a really cool guy, i learned a lot from him, like, the reality side of being a bartender. i left his class feeling really good about the whole thing.
so yeah, about this not sleeping thing. it is ass. i've gotten about 4 hours of sleep in the last 2 nights. i'm exausted. last night, i slept about an hour, maybe 2. but in this hour, i had this fucking crazy dream. i still remember most of it vividly. it was inspired by 24, i know it. it was a sweet dream though. a bunch of people, let me try to remember who they were..... i know me, mike, eric, radtke and jay from high school were in it. i know manuel was in it, but only because he has a motorcycle (we were riding motorcycles for a large portion of it). so yeah, we were tooling around downtown seattle. not the real version, but my cool fake dream version. it kind of had this rundown futuristic urban vibe too it. the viaduct wasn't there, so there was a big waterfront. things connected differently, and there was a big mall and a movie theater up in the beacon hill area. so anyways, we were all tooling around in this mob. 4 of us got seperated from the others, and mike picked a fight with these 3 huge scary guys with guns. so we fucking ran. we had to drag mike with us. but we ran. a bunch of us were in a pickup truck, but mike and jay hopped on motorcycles. manuel was like fuck this, and rode off in a different direction on his. one of the dudes followed him and some other car he was with in a truck. the rest of us booked out, followed by 2 of the guys in another truck or something. at one point i was like fuck this, and i jumped on a motorcycle out of the back of the truck to try and show mike and jay how to ride. but instead, they were gomers and just wanked around. so i just booked off by myself. someone on a motorcycle was chasing me, but i schooled him. we all met up at this mall, and tried to hide in this movie theater. but one of the guys saw, and came flying at mike from above us on the aisle. but mike just grabbed him, smashed him up against the wall and then threw him on the ground. so he was just fucked up, like he got owned. mike was a badass in the entire dream, until he got killed later, but thats a different story. me and eric were like fuck this, we are going to get shot because they are picking fights. then radtke pretended to jump mike and got tossed. it was hilarious, because it is something that would happen. anyways, me and eric hopped on our bikes, and ran out. mike went in front of us, and ended up killing the other guy and leaving him on a freeway. we rolled up to the dead body, and decided to throw him off the bridge at some guy. so we toss this body, and almost hit this dude on the railroad tracks. he gets really pissed so we book out. we get down to the waterfront, and the dude runs up to me and tells me this whole story about this bomb, and the dude we threw at him, and how we wouldn't be able to deactivate the bomb because of me. so i am like what the fuck, but he is serious, so me and this girl i had just met ran for cover. she looked a lot like nina from 24. so, i get down, and there is this huge shaking, things falling, etc. i'm just like, ok, what the hell was that, and i look up, and there is this mushroom cloud coming from the renton area. so i'm like oh shit, because i see this wave of destruction coming towards me, so i get down, and the girl gets down, and then there was this intense period where i was getting blasted by bricks and shit from the explosion. i get up, i get her up, i'm like we have to get out of here. i'm not sure why we had to leave, but we did. anyways, this dude wanders up, and its her dad, so we jack this boat to leave. apparently they are like, spys or something. somehow, we end up on the top of a sky scraper, in our boat, and like, the boat falls off because the dad is driving and is a knob and doesn't realize we are on a skyscraper. no problem for them, they are spys, they are used to falling off skyscrapers and shit. but not me, i'm afraid of heights, so i'm just like FUCK!!! i grab on to something, and they kind of coast down the side of the building past me on these wierd plastic solid awning things that look like those dogtoys that you throw in the water and such, but i'm like hanging off the edge. they are like creeping from thing to thing, and i'm just hanging on, trying to get back on without falling to my death. then i wake up sweating and panting, and about ready to scream because of the crazyness.
i feel guilty today, because i was responsible for the destruction of the greater seattle area :p sorry about that guys. i have dreams like this every once in a while, were something catastrophic happens, and i'm trying to do something but can't, and end up getting fucked in the end. and i remember them vividly, even years after i had them.....
fuck it all, i was going to write about something else but i don't want to any more. sorry again about getting everyone blown up
