Wednesday, February 12, 2003
ok, so yeah, look up wank in the dictionary at dictionary.com. if you scroll down a few entry's, and you get this
wank
/wangk/ [Columbia University: probably by mutation from
Commonwealth slang "wank", to masturbate] Used much as hack
is elsewhere, as a noun denoting a clever technique or person
or the result of such cleverness. May describe (negatively)
the act of hacking for hacking's sake ("Quit wanking, let's go
get supper!") or (more positively) a wizard. "wanky"
describes something particularly clever (a person, program, or
algorithm). Conversations can also get wanky when there are
too many wanks involved. This excess wankiness is signalled
by an overload of the "wankometer" (compare bogometer).
When the wankometer overloads, the conversation's subject must
be changed, or all non-wanks will leave. Compare
"neep-neeping" (under neep-neep). Usage: US only. In
Britain and the Commonwealth this word is *extremely* rude and
is best avoided unless one intends to give offense.
as you might expect, started cracking up. so, i was like this makes sense, and decided to investigate more. i clicked on the bogometer link, which led me to the bogosity site. bogosity had this to say:
bogosity
/boh-go's*-tee/ The degree to which something is "bogus" in
the hackish sense of "bad". At CMU, bogosity is measured with
a bogometer; in a seminar, when a speaker says something
bogus, a listener might raise his hand and say "My bogometer
just triggered". More extremely, "You just pinned my
bogometer" means you just said or did something so
outrageously bogus that it is off the scale, pinning the
bogometer needle at the highest possible reading (one might
also say "You just redlined my bogometer"). The agreed-upon
unit of bogosity is the microLenat.
Also, the potential field generated by a bogon flux; see
quantum bogodynamics. See also bogon flux, bogon
filter.
this struck me as curious, but in some wierd way made so much sense. i investigate a little more, and under microLenat came up with this:
microlenat
/mi:"-kroh-len"-*t/ The unit of bogosity, written uL; the
consensus is that this is the largest unit practical for
everyday use. The microLenat, originally invented by David
Jefferson, was promulgated as an attack against noted computer
scientist Doug Lenat by a tenured graduate student at
CMU. Doug had failed the student on an important exam for
giving only "AI is bogus" as his answer to the questions. The
slur is generally considered unmerited, but it has become a
running gag nevertheless. Some of Doug's friends argue that
*of course* a microLenat is bogus, since it is only one
millionth of a Lenat. Others have suggested that the unit
should be redesignated after the grad student, as the
microReid.
now, it is obvious that i need to find this grad student.
see, the bogon flux is what struck me as a strange theory, but after reading about it, it also makes a lot of sense, as can be shown by the definition here:
bogon flux
/boh'gon fluhks/ A measure of a supposed field of bogosity
emitted by a speaker, measured by a bogometer; as a speaker
starts to wander into increasing bogosity a listener might say
"Warning, warning, bogon flux is rising". See quantum
bogodynamics.
my curiosity had been piqued, i need to start studying the field of quantum bogodynamics.
quantum bogodynamics
/kwon'tm boh"goh-di:-nam"iks/ A theory that characterises the
universe in terms of bogon sources (such as politicians,
used-car salesmen, TV evangelists, and suits in general),
bogon sinks (such as taxpayers and computers), and bogosity
potential fields. Bogon absorption causes human beings to
behave mindlessly and machines to fail (and may also cause
both to emit secondary bogons); however, the precise mechanics
of bogon-computron interaction are not yet understood.
Quantum bogodynamics is most often invoked to explain the
sharp increase in hardware and software failures in the
presence of suits; the latter emit bogons, which the former
absorb.
suits are the obvious pervayors of such bogosity. fuck suits, i hate them too:
suit
n. 1. Ugly and uncomfortable `business clothing' often
worn by non-hackers. Invariably worn with a `tie', a strangulation
device that partially cuts off the blood supply to the brain. It is
thought that this explains much about the behavior of suit-wearers.
Compare droid. 2. A person who habitually wears suits, as
distinct from a techie or hacker. See pointy-haired, burble,
management, Stupids, SNAFU principle, PHB, and
brain-damaged.
anyways, the great thing is that i made none of this up. zilch, zero. i found it all in definitions on dictionary.com. go look it up for yourself. it is a surreal experience
wank
/wangk/ [Columbia University: probably by mutation from
Commonwealth slang "wank", to masturbate] Used much as hack
is elsewhere, as a noun denoting a clever technique or person
or the result of such cleverness. May describe (negatively)
the act of hacking for hacking's sake ("Quit wanking, let's go
get supper!") or (more positively) a wizard. "wanky"
describes something particularly clever (a person, program, or
algorithm). Conversations can also get wanky when there are
too many wanks involved. This excess wankiness is signalled
by an overload of the "wankometer" (compare bogometer).
When the wankometer overloads, the conversation's subject must
be changed, or all non-wanks will leave. Compare
"neep-neeping" (under neep-neep). Usage: US only. In
Britain and the Commonwealth this word is *extremely* rude and
is best avoided unless one intends to give offense.
as you might expect, started cracking up. so, i was like this makes sense, and decided to investigate more. i clicked on the bogometer link, which led me to the bogosity site. bogosity had this to say:
bogosity
/boh-go's*-tee/ The degree to which something is "bogus" in
the hackish sense of "bad". At CMU, bogosity is measured with
a bogometer; in a seminar, when a speaker says something
bogus, a listener might raise his hand and say "My bogometer
just triggered". More extremely, "You just pinned my
bogometer" means you just said or did something so
outrageously bogus that it is off the scale, pinning the
bogometer needle at the highest possible reading (one might
also say "You just redlined my bogometer"). The agreed-upon
unit of bogosity is the microLenat.
Also, the potential field generated by a bogon flux; see
quantum bogodynamics. See also bogon flux, bogon
filter.
this struck me as curious, but in some wierd way made so much sense. i investigate a little more, and under microLenat came up with this:
microlenat
/mi:"-kroh-len"-*t/ The unit of bogosity, written uL; the
consensus is that this is the largest unit practical for
everyday use. The microLenat, originally invented by David
Jefferson, was promulgated as an attack against noted computer
scientist Doug Lenat by a tenured graduate student at
CMU. Doug had failed the student on an important exam for
giving only "AI is bogus" as his answer to the questions. The
slur is generally considered unmerited, but it has become a
running gag nevertheless. Some of Doug's friends argue that
*of course* a microLenat is bogus, since it is only one
millionth of a Lenat. Others have suggested that the unit
should be redesignated after the grad student, as the
microReid.
now, it is obvious that i need to find this grad student.
see, the bogon flux is what struck me as a strange theory, but after reading about it, it also makes a lot of sense, as can be shown by the definition here:
bogon flux
/boh'gon fluhks/ A measure of a supposed field of bogosity
emitted by a speaker, measured by a bogometer; as a speaker
starts to wander into increasing bogosity a listener might say
"Warning, warning, bogon flux is rising". See quantum
bogodynamics.
my curiosity had been piqued, i need to start studying the field of quantum bogodynamics.
quantum bogodynamics
/kwon'tm boh"goh-di:-nam"iks/ A theory that characterises the
universe in terms of bogon sources (such as politicians,
used-car salesmen, TV evangelists, and suits in general),
bogon sinks (such as taxpayers and computers), and bogosity
potential fields. Bogon absorption causes human beings to
behave mindlessly and machines to fail (and may also cause
both to emit secondary bogons); however, the precise mechanics
of bogon-computron interaction are not yet understood.
Quantum bogodynamics is most often invoked to explain the
sharp increase in hardware and software failures in the
presence of suits; the latter emit bogons, which the former
absorb.
suits are the obvious pervayors of such bogosity. fuck suits, i hate them too:
suit
n. 1. Ugly and uncomfortable `business clothing' often
worn by non-hackers. Invariably worn with a `tie', a strangulation
device that partially cuts off the blood supply to the brain. It is
thought that this explains much about the behavior of suit-wearers.
Compare droid. 2. A person who habitually wears suits, as
distinct from a techie or hacker. See pointy-haired, burble,
management, Stupids, SNAFU principle, PHB, and
brain-damaged.
anyways, the great thing is that i made none of this up. zilch, zero. i found it all in definitions on dictionary.com. go look it up for yourself. it is a surreal experience
