Tuesday, February 18, 2003
so yeah, california trip was kind of wierd to me....
the really wierd part was my sisters friend. i'm trying to take a nap (unsuccessfully) after our 19 hour marathon drive when my sister and her friend and boyfriend get there. i'm half awake and in walks the spitting image of my ex-girlfriend Ali. fuck me, that threw me off. i was just uncomfortable, it was just WIERD. i mean, she looked EXACTLY like her, acted like her, talked like her, jeebus. so needless to say, i'm a knob. i will always be one, and will always act like one
it pisses me off because it made me uncomfortable. i mean, really, how long ago was that? how freaking short was that? why should it even bother me. but still, it really caught me with my pants down. here i am, already freaking out and depressed about being unemployed, failing out of college, running out of money, i mean my life is in shambles. and now in walks the girl that symbolizes my biggest romantic and social failure of the past few years. before i was a failure at school at work. i was almost fine with that. but now i'm reminded that i'm an all around failure. great.
it is embarassing that it even bothered me. i feel like such an asshat right now, as i did all weekend.
blah, i'll talk about the trip later. i'm going to go hide in my book again
the really wierd part was my sisters friend. i'm trying to take a nap (unsuccessfully) after our 19 hour marathon drive when my sister and her friend and boyfriend get there. i'm half awake and in walks the spitting image of my ex-girlfriend Ali. fuck me, that threw me off. i was just uncomfortable, it was just WIERD. i mean, she looked EXACTLY like her, acted like her, talked like her, jeebus. so needless to say, i'm a knob. i will always be one, and will always act like one
it pisses me off because it made me uncomfortable. i mean, really, how long ago was that? how freaking short was that? why should it even bother me. but still, it really caught me with my pants down. here i am, already freaking out and depressed about being unemployed, failing out of college, running out of money, i mean my life is in shambles. and now in walks the girl that symbolizes my biggest romantic and social failure of the past few years. before i was a failure at school at work. i was almost fine with that. but now i'm reminded that i'm an all around failure. great.
it is embarassing that it even bothered me. i feel like such an asshat right now, as i did all weekend.
blah, i'll talk about the trip later. i'm going to go hide in my book again
