Thursday, March 27, 2003
sleeeeeep, i just want to sleep.
i don't know what is up with my sleeping shit now. i just woke up at 7.... i don't know why. i'm not fighting it, but i don't know why.
so yeah, about this religion thing. it is kind of hard to explain, but let me give it a shot here. i was thinking to myself about how i wish i had something to believe in kind of thing, like having a religion. but religions pretty much suck. so i said to myself, what would my IDEAL religion look like, if it could be anything i wanted. without going overboard and declaring myself god of everything, i came up with this loose jumble of thoughts that i haven't quite been able to tie all together yet into some sort of unifying theory.
first off, hmmmm..... alright, first off let me kinda spill out a few things i was thinking about when i was blabbling to myself about it, because it will explain one of the major theories. i don't know where i heard this term, or if it is even a real term. life emulates life? like things scaling up or down, but still having the exact same characteristics. its like fractals, where you can find the same exact patterns popping up whether you go really big, or really small. basically, so there are different levels of existance, i guess you would say. like, there are certain thresholds that we as humans think are impossible to cross. think in math, when you have hyperbola's or whatever, where you are approaching an axis line with your curve, but you can never quite reach it, so your number keeps getting huge on one axis, and keeps getting closer and closer and closer, but never quite there (there is a term for this i wish i could think of it, asymptote?). kind of like how it is impossible to reach the speed of light. you can cross them, but it takes some help from the other side. we'll get to that later though. so anyways, this whole approaching the curve thing, it is a metaphor for human potential. we as humans can keep pushing ourselves, but we always hit a wall where improvement isn't really feasible. to do this, we kind of end up neglecting everything else. think olympic atheletes. they are ungodly at that one thing they do, but they have to forget about everything else to do it. ok, another visual to kind of explain this. the whole range of human activity and thought is shown in a circle. you can pick one point out to focus on, and stretch your circle towards that. you can get to a certain point really easily. but when you try to stretch it to two points, or three points, you have to press harder and it still doesn't stretch as far. we reach our limits, but we know it is possible to go farther in any particular direction.
so kind of the main theory is that there is another phase of existance beyond us with a bigger circle to play with, so simple human functions are no problem to them. it is possible to be better at humans at everything simultaneously. everyone has this ability, i mean really. everyone has had that moment where everything fell into place and anything seemed possible. where you did things you never thought you were able to do. people getting shots of adrenaline when they are attacked, so they lay out 3 huge guys and run off. basically, everyone has these moments where they push the limits of the human threshold of thought or ability. you know something or did something that for all practical purposes, you can't explain, yet it isn't out of the ordinary enough to worry about. see, this is what i live for. if i can get my mind racing, i am happy. mental stimulation is the name of my game.
so yeah, there are these beings. i'll just call them beings i guess (or probably just "the dudes" because i use that for everything). but yeah, they are a whole different level of existance, that is basically beyond our visions of physical limitation. the best analogy i could come up with is that they are a level above us, kind of like we are a level above furniture or some other inatimate object. but it isn't a linear thing, so it is more complex than them just using us to shine their shoes. we exsist, but they exist in a different plane kind of thing. we don't know about them because we can't comprehend them, it would be too much for us. our level of exsistance isn't equipped to handle the knowledge that their existance exists. but basically, they take our existance and enhance every aspect of it. like, they reach that breaking point, and just bust through, and kind of settle back down into this new existance, and the cycle starts all over again.
editorial note: ok, sideline chatter about breaking through the human threshold. i saw a perfect example of exactly how my thought process was working. i was thinking about all of this, and how to explain it. i couldn't quite do it. then a few days later, i saw the animatrix trailer. they have a shot of this sprinter dude busting through his human limitations, and that is how he busted out of the matrix kind of thing. i was so stoked when i saw that, because it fit in so perfectely, besides the whole mechanical thing.
alright, so if these things exist, how do we know? we know they have to exist any time we see someone pushing the human threshold. because humans are constantly pushing their limits just a little bit further, and without this other phase of existance, eventually we would max out every threshold possible, and then there would be no room for improvement in anything. i like to think that i can always improve at anything, even if i have to summon the supernatural to believe it. so, we see people on the brink of this threshold, and figure there has to be something beyond. we sense it, but we never quite see it. i bet furniture doesn't know that we exsist, but it still reacts to us sitting on it. cushions cush, even if they don't have the capacity to understand what is going on. so yeah, kind of on that vein, this higher level uses us for their own ends. its not some sort of wierd thing, it is more benevolent than you might think. because i don't think existance has to be such a predatory thing. if you can do something without fucking someone else, it is probably better for you anyways. the whole dog eat dog mentality really doesn't sit well with me. i'd like to think that our ability as humans to not have to rely on being the absolute best to survive is what makes our existance better than animals, an evolutionary leap so to speak. our understanding of this should open up whole new worlds of thought. i mean it has, look at our society. we have free will, free thought, art, video games, etc etc etc. if you are worrying about not dying, you don't have much time to worry about which harry potter book was better. so yeah, i figure there has to be something above us, like another phase of existance where you don't have to worry about your next paycheck. everytime we don't have to worry about survival, it opens up the brain for other things.
so yeah, these dudes are kind of an amplification of human existance. there has to be some sort of higher order, some good and evil. i live my life believing that i am generally doing good because i try to find a balance between doing what i want, and not screwing over other people. i don't like hurting other people. so, if i could exist without having to worry about hurting other people, i could do that much more. anyways, so in this ideal existance beyond our existance, in my mind i see an amplification of everything i think is important. like, everything i think i would like to be able to do is possible, without all of what i think is negative in our existance down here. most of what i believe i kind of chalk up to what i see as unwritten laws (which is kind of dangerous), so in the existance above, there are no real laws or anything, because it isn't necessary. all these dudes have the ability to somehow celebrate their differences while knowing that other dudes will do the same, all the while following this unwritten code of ethics that kind of boil down to a base sense of respect and decency towards everything else. its a paradise. if you think about it, if you take away this whole survival complex we have , you would lose a lot of misunderstandings and purely destructive thought processes, and you would end up with this ideal world in which everyone was allowed to do their thing without being hassled. it involves minimal compromise with everyone sure, but the closer you are to being like this when you poop yourself across the threshold, the less you have to compromise. so, i'm going to keep living the way i think is right. sure, i need to focus on survival in this existance, so i won't always be able to do so. i still have always considered myself a somewhat enlightened person because it makes me happy to think so. now i have an explaination. the closer i get to the threshold, the more of the next existance i understand.
everyone has the ability to poop over. some people are obviously closer to pooping over than others. that is why there are so many morons in the world. they are just several millenia away from rational thought :P
ok everyone, i'll make you a deal here. my head is having trouble tying some other parts together. i don't feel like skimming back through what i just wrote, so i'm going to stop here for today and kind of look things over, and then come back too it. because i have more to add, and probably a lot of editing to do to the above before it makes any sense, but it is a start. a glimpse into my new belief system. huzzah!
we'll just call this blog a work in progress.
i don't know what is up with my sleeping shit now. i just woke up at 7.... i don't know why. i'm not fighting it, but i don't know why.
so yeah, about this religion thing. it is kind of hard to explain, but let me give it a shot here. i was thinking to myself about how i wish i had something to believe in kind of thing, like having a religion. but religions pretty much suck. so i said to myself, what would my IDEAL religion look like, if it could be anything i wanted. without going overboard and declaring myself god of everything, i came up with this loose jumble of thoughts that i haven't quite been able to tie all together yet into some sort of unifying theory.
first off, hmmmm..... alright, first off let me kinda spill out a few things i was thinking about when i was blabbling to myself about it, because it will explain one of the major theories. i don't know where i heard this term, or if it is even a real term. life emulates life? like things scaling up or down, but still having the exact same characteristics. its like fractals, where you can find the same exact patterns popping up whether you go really big, or really small. basically, so there are different levels of existance, i guess you would say. like, there are certain thresholds that we as humans think are impossible to cross. think in math, when you have hyperbola's or whatever, where you are approaching an axis line with your curve, but you can never quite reach it, so your number keeps getting huge on one axis, and keeps getting closer and closer and closer, but never quite there (there is a term for this i wish i could think of it, asymptote?). kind of like how it is impossible to reach the speed of light. you can cross them, but it takes some help from the other side. we'll get to that later though. so anyways, this whole approaching the curve thing, it is a metaphor for human potential. we as humans can keep pushing ourselves, but we always hit a wall where improvement isn't really feasible. to do this, we kind of end up neglecting everything else. think olympic atheletes. they are ungodly at that one thing they do, but they have to forget about everything else to do it. ok, another visual to kind of explain this. the whole range of human activity and thought is shown in a circle. you can pick one point out to focus on, and stretch your circle towards that. you can get to a certain point really easily. but when you try to stretch it to two points, or three points, you have to press harder and it still doesn't stretch as far. we reach our limits, but we know it is possible to go farther in any particular direction.
so kind of the main theory is that there is another phase of existance beyond us with a bigger circle to play with, so simple human functions are no problem to them. it is possible to be better at humans at everything simultaneously. everyone has this ability, i mean really. everyone has had that moment where everything fell into place and anything seemed possible. where you did things you never thought you were able to do. people getting shots of adrenaline when they are attacked, so they lay out 3 huge guys and run off. basically, everyone has these moments where they push the limits of the human threshold of thought or ability. you know something or did something that for all practical purposes, you can't explain, yet it isn't out of the ordinary enough to worry about. see, this is what i live for. if i can get my mind racing, i am happy. mental stimulation is the name of my game.
so yeah, there are these beings. i'll just call them beings i guess (or probably just "the dudes" because i use that for everything). but yeah, they are a whole different level of existance, that is basically beyond our visions of physical limitation. the best analogy i could come up with is that they are a level above us, kind of like we are a level above furniture or some other inatimate object. but it isn't a linear thing, so it is more complex than them just using us to shine their shoes. we exsist, but they exist in a different plane kind of thing. we don't know about them because we can't comprehend them, it would be too much for us. our level of exsistance isn't equipped to handle the knowledge that their existance exists. but basically, they take our existance and enhance every aspect of it. like, they reach that breaking point, and just bust through, and kind of settle back down into this new existance, and the cycle starts all over again.
editorial note: ok, sideline chatter about breaking through the human threshold. i saw a perfect example of exactly how my thought process was working. i was thinking about all of this, and how to explain it. i couldn't quite do it. then a few days later, i saw the animatrix trailer. they have a shot of this sprinter dude busting through his human limitations, and that is how he busted out of the matrix kind of thing. i was so stoked when i saw that, because it fit in so perfectely, besides the whole mechanical thing.
alright, so if these things exist, how do we know? we know they have to exist any time we see someone pushing the human threshold. because humans are constantly pushing their limits just a little bit further, and without this other phase of existance, eventually we would max out every threshold possible, and then there would be no room for improvement in anything. i like to think that i can always improve at anything, even if i have to summon the supernatural to believe it. so, we see people on the brink of this threshold, and figure there has to be something beyond. we sense it, but we never quite see it. i bet furniture doesn't know that we exsist, but it still reacts to us sitting on it. cushions cush, even if they don't have the capacity to understand what is going on. so yeah, kind of on that vein, this higher level uses us for their own ends. its not some sort of wierd thing, it is more benevolent than you might think. because i don't think existance has to be such a predatory thing. if you can do something without fucking someone else, it is probably better for you anyways. the whole dog eat dog mentality really doesn't sit well with me. i'd like to think that our ability as humans to not have to rely on being the absolute best to survive is what makes our existance better than animals, an evolutionary leap so to speak. our understanding of this should open up whole new worlds of thought. i mean it has, look at our society. we have free will, free thought, art, video games, etc etc etc. if you are worrying about not dying, you don't have much time to worry about which harry potter book was better. so yeah, i figure there has to be something above us, like another phase of existance where you don't have to worry about your next paycheck. everytime we don't have to worry about survival, it opens up the brain for other things.
so yeah, these dudes are kind of an amplification of human existance. there has to be some sort of higher order, some good and evil. i live my life believing that i am generally doing good because i try to find a balance between doing what i want, and not screwing over other people. i don't like hurting other people. so, if i could exist without having to worry about hurting other people, i could do that much more. anyways, so in this ideal existance beyond our existance, in my mind i see an amplification of everything i think is important. like, everything i think i would like to be able to do is possible, without all of what i think is negative in our existance down here. most of what i believe i kind of chalk up to what i see as unwritten laws (which is kind of dangerous), so in the existance above, there are no real laws or anything, because it isn't necessary. all these dudes have the ability to somehow celebrate their differences while knowing that other dudes will do the same, all the while following this unwritten code of ethics that kind of boil down to a base sense of respect and decency towards everything else. its a paradise. if you think about it, if you take away this whole survival complex we have , you would lose a lot of misunderstandings and purely destructive thought processes, and you would end up with this ideal world in which everyone was allowed to do their thing without being hassled. it involves minimal compromise with everyone sure, but the closer you are to being like this when you poop yourself across the threshold, the less you have to compromise. so, i'm going to keep living the way i think is right. sure, i need to focus on survival in this existance, so i won't always be able to do so. i still have always considered myself a somewhat enlightened person because it makes me happy to think so. now i have an explaination. the closer i get to the threshold, the more of the next existance i understand.
everyone has the ability to poop over. some people are obviously closer to pooping over than others. that is why there are so many morons in the world. they are just several millenia away from rational thought :P
ok everyone, i'll make you a deal here. my head is having trouble tying some other parts together. i don't feel like skimming back through what i just wrote, so i'm going to stop here for today and kind of look things over, and then come back too it. because i have more to add, and probably a lot of editing to do to the above before it makes any sense, but it is a start. a glimpse into my new belief system. huzzah!
we'll just call this blog a work in progress.
