Wednesday, April 23, 2003
hee heeee
i love showers. not necessarily because i like to be clean, but because of the ideas that come out of my head when i am inside of them. so yeah, i was thinking about this whole get your picture taken with jesus idea at the uvilliage. it started off as me thinking about the donation jar. i figure we should have free pictures, but donations accepted. and have a sign that says "the lord ain't greedy" or something like that. then i was thinking we should have different backdrops to put people in, like a beach theme, and like get your picture taken with wings and a halo with jesus out in front of the pearly gates, and have little silly slogans at the bottom of them all, like "What Would Jesus 'n Me Do? We're going to disneyland!" you get the picture.
so yeah, this thing kind of spiraled around, and got me thinking about what it would be like to just chill with jesus. so i started thinking about circumstances where i could chill with the eternal soul of jesus. also, i started thinking about advice jesus might give to people, like "don't worry about death, you can always reincarnate yourself. its not that hard, hell, i pulled it off" so i started thinking about dying, and after dying ending up on the loading platform of this train station. one train headed to heaven, one to hell. i see all these people. they are really souls, but souls see other souls as people. anyways, all these people are freaking out, because they think this is the final judgement, and are wailing, and getting on whatever train is closest because they figure this is it. most people go straight in, without even looking around. i'm kind of confused, because i was probably pretty stoned when i died, so i wander around for a bit, talk to the train conductor dudes and stuff. i realize that i don't have to get on a train, just that most people do because they think they are supposed too. so i just leave. i walk through the doors into the train station, and then out the front door and call a cab. it turns out i'm in this little town called Purgatory, Indiana. anyways, i'm a soul, and people can't see me, so i have to flag a cab with mental suggestion. i finally get this cabby to stop, and just tell him to head west so hopefully i can get back to my body. he's like, i've never been west before, i'll go there. i can control him through suggestion, kind of. i'm careful he doesn't find out so he doesn't freak out and stuff. i figure since people were going to heaven and hell, there are probably some greater powers at work and i want to keep things on the downlow while i figure shit out.
so yeah, we get out of the city limits, and this dude pops up next to me in the back seat. he introduces himself as jesus, and is just really excited because i am the first person in 1000 years or so who has actually made it out of the city limits. i'm like, shouldn't you be in heaven? he goes on about how its about time for him to do something spectacular to keep the kiddies in line. i'm like dude, its 2003, you are off by a few years, and he tells me this story about how he spent a few years in an opium den that have just kinda been stricken from the record. so during our cab ride west, we strike up a conversation, and he explains the whole death thing to me, and heaven and hell, kind of this "afterlife for dummies" crash course. he explains to me that souls can inhabit any body after they die, even their own if they get their fast enough. he tells me that people just kind of jump to their own conclusions based on whatever expectation they had of the afterlife when they died. he takes me to india, where the hindu guys are showing up at their train station and jumping inside of the first man, animal, or insect they see, yelling about karma the entire time. he tells me that they are getting closer, but most of them end up as stray dogs or cats, or random housewives out shopping.
i figure in the story, he'll invite me to go along with him on his next big extravaganza, and we can tool around meeting people, setting up our vessels for our take over and stuff. he's jesus, so he can just kind of control things. he gives our cabby like $20000 out of an atm, you know, just kind of every day miracle stuff. i figure most people and animals are just empty vessels anyways. maybe thats why so many people seem to be such wankers. too many souls just head to heaven, so the body they had set up for the next round just kind of continues on right where they were when they left without ever really changing. but yeah, me and JC, reshaping the world. we'll probably head out and have some of our friends kill themselves and go meet them at the train station.
this could be a pretty funny movie or book or something. now i have it on paper. this entire page is Copyright Ben Harding © 2003, so don't go jacking my story
i love showers. not necessarily because i like to be clean, but because of the ideas that come out of my head when i am inside of them. so yeah, i was thinking about this whole get your picture taken with jesus idea at the uvilliage. it started off as me thinking about the donation jar. i figure we should have free pictures, but donations accepted. and have a sign that says "the lord ain't greedy" or something like that. then i was thinking we should have different backdrops to put people in, like a beach theme, and like get your picture taken with wings and a halo with jesus out in front of the pearly gates, and have little silly slogans at the bottom of them all, like "What Would Jesus 'n Me Do? We're going to disneyland!" you get the picture.
so yeah, this thing kind of spiraled around, and got me thinking about what it would be like to just chill with jesus. so i started thinking about circumstances where i could chill with the eternal soul of jesus. also, i started thinking about advice jesus might give to people, like "don't worry about death, you can always reincarnate yourself. its not that hard, hell, i pulled it off" so i started thinking about dying, and after dying ending up on the loading platform of this train station. one train headed to heaven, one to hell. i see all these people. they are really souls, but souls see other souls as people. anyways, all these people are freaking out, because they think this is the final judgement, and are wailing, and getting on whatever train is closest because they figure this is it. most people go straight in, without even looking around. i'm kind of confused, because i was probably pretty stoned when i died, so i wander around for a bit, talk to the train conductor dudes and stuff. i realize that i don't have to get on a train, just that most people do because they think they are supposed too. so i just leave. i walk through the doors into the train station, and then out the front door and call a cab. it turns out i'm in this little town called Purgatory, Indiana. anyways, i'm a soul, and people can't see me, so i have to flag a cab with mental suggestion. i finally get this cabby to stop, and just tell him to head west so hopefully i can get back to my body. he's like, i've never been west before, i'll go there. i can control him through suggestion, kind of. i'm careful he doesn't find out so he doesn't freak out and stuff. i figure since people were going to heaven and hell, there are probably some greater powers at work and i want to keep things on the downlow while i figure shit out.
so yeah, we get out of the city limits, and this dude pops up next to me in the back seat. he introduces himself as jesus, and is just really excited because i am the first person in 1000 years or so who has actually made it out of the city limits. i'm like, shouldn't you be in heaven? he goes on about how its about time for him to do something spectacular to keep the kiddies in line. i'm like dude, its 2003, you are off by a few years, and he tells me this story about how he spent a few years in an opium den that have just kinda been stricken from the record. so during our cab ride west, we strike up a conversation, and he explains the whole death thing to me, and heaven and hell, kind of this "afterlife for dummies" crash course. he explains to me that souls can inhabit any body after they die, even their own if they get their fast enough. he tells me that people just kind of jump to their own conclusions based on whatever expectation they had of the afterlife when they died. he takes me to india, where the hindu guys are showing up at their train station and jumping inside of the first man, animal, or insect they see, yelling about karma the entire time. he tells me that they are getting closer, but most of them end up as stray dogs or cats, or random housewives out shopping.
i figure in the story, he'll invite me to go along with him on his next big extravaganza, and we can tool around meeting people, setting up our vessels for our take over and stuff. he's jesus, so he can just kind of control things. he gives our cabby like $20000 out of an atm, you know, just kind of every day miracle stuff. i figure most people and animals are just empty vessels anyways. maybe thats why so many people seem to be such wankers. too many souls just head to heaven, so the body they had set up for the next round just kind of continues on right where they were when they left without ever really changing. but yeah, me and JC, reshaping the world. we'll probably head out and have some of our friends kill themselves and go meet them at the train station.
this could be a pretty funny movie or book or something. now i have it on paper. this entire page is Copyright Ben Harding © 2003, so don't go jacking my story
