Monday, April 14, 2003
who am i to bring this up? hopefully i'm not just people... but hey
man, seeing ryan get bitter is such a trip. if he is getting pissed at people in general, i'm in trouble, because i do shit i'm sure pisses him off. but i know what he's saying... sometimes thinly disguised apathy is the best thing you can give someone, because it makes them feel better, then they owe you one, and you can go off on some random shit later and they can pretend to care back. i feel bad for not caring about people some times, but i figure no one cares what i think half the time. but what is caring. does it really matter if people really care, or are pretending to care? i mean, if everyone knows everyone else is just pretending, it leads to a great atmosphere. people stop talking about such dumb shit, and just start jackassing. i mean, i hate myself when i get all serious and bitchy and crap. it happens to everyone, everyone understands that, thus the thinly disguised apathy. the REAL problem is some people are all serious and bitchy all the time, so thinly disguised apathy turns into just apathy. apathy drives geniuses like ryan and i to bitterness, and bitterness leads to an overall hatred of mankind. people who abuse other people's thinly disguised apathy are just taking advantage of their friendships, and should realize that they are going to piss their friends off. if they don't, well, meh, sucks to be them. i try not to feel bad about dropping the disguise in these cases, because most of the time it is for the greater good of the entire fucking world.
but then you get over it. you get mad at yourself for a few seconds and realize it isn't worth it, because a moment of bitterness is better than the lifetime of bitterness that comes with being all serious and bitchy all the time.
oh yeah, and about the futility of conversation? its a lonely life without people. to be around people you have to talk. who cares what you are talking about, or whether you agree or not. half the time i argue with matt just because its funny and passes the time. who cares whether people really agree with you or not. like this weekend at this party. this dude comes up and starts talking to us, and matt says i'm an actor. it lead to like a 15 minute conversation about how i was in "she's all that" with freddie prinze, jr., and how me and him had a fight in the seattle airport. who cares if its the truth or not. that's 15 minutes that i didn't have to listen to the all the serious and bitchy people talk about stuff that i'm expected to care about but really don't
so, yup, there you have it. i just got all bitchy and serious for no good reason. hopefully ryan doesn't want to disown me. he's still a genius. i'm a genius. we've got to stick together.
man, seeing ryan get bitter is such a trip. if he is getting pissed at people in general, i'm in trouble, because i do shit i'm sure pisses him off. but i know what he's saying... sometimes thinly disguised apathy is the best thing you can give someone, because it makes them feel better, then they owe you one, and you can go off on some random shit later and they can pretend to care back. i feel bad for not caring about people some times, but i figure no one cares what i think half the time. but what is caring. does it really matter if people really care, or are pretending to care? i mean, if everyone knows everyone else is just pretending, it leads to a great atmosphere. people stop talking about such dumb shit, and just start jackassing. i mean, i hate myself when i get all serious and bitchy and crap. it happens to everyone, everyone understands that, thus the thinly disguised apathy. the REAL problem is some people are all serious and bitchy all the time, so thinly disguised apathy turns into just apathy. apathy drives geniuses like ryan and i to bitterness, and bitterness leads to an overall hatred of mankind. people who abuse other people's thinly disguised apathy are just taking advantage of their friendships, and should realize that they are going to piss their friends off. if they don't, well, meh, sucks to be them. i try not to feel bad about dropping the disguise in these cases, because most of the time it is for the greater good of the entire fucking world.
but then you get over it. you get mad at yourself for a few seconds and realize it isn't worth it, because a moment of bitterness is better than the lifetime of bitterness that comes with being all serious and bitchy all the time.
oh yeah, and about the futility of conversation? its a lonely life without people. to be around people you have to talk. who cares what you are talking about, or whether you agree or not. half the time i argue with matt just because its funny and passes the time. who cares whether people really agree with you or not. like this weekend at this party. this dude comes up and starts talking to us, and matt says i'm an actor. it lead to like a 15 minute conversation about how i was in "she's all that" with freddie prinze, jr., and how me and him had a fight in the seattle airport. who cares if its the truth or not. that's 15 minutes that i didn't have to listen to the all the serious and bitchy people talk about stuff that i'm expected to care about but really don't
so, yup, there you have it. i just got all bitchy and serious for no good reason. hopefully ryan doesn't want to disown me. he's still a genius. i'm a genius. we've got to stick together.
