Sunday, February 01, 2004
i need to start reading ayn rand again. my mental capacity seems to be slowly declining. i haven't really thought about anything in a few months. i'm in a rut. i need to do something to get out of it. i have a few possibilities, but they are all a little radical. maybe that is what i need.
i just need something. i don't do anything. i don't have anything i enjoy doing enough to actually put forth the effort. there is really nothing worth saving in my life right now. job, friends, hobbies, they all seem so lackluster. i love living in seattle, but what is there for me here? could i just up and move, relocate myself somewhere completely different? the more i think about it, there is absolutely no reason for me to stay in seattle besides seattle itself. could i actually live anywhere else? would i function in another environment? shit, am i even functioning now?
lets face it. i make minimum wage (plus tips that keep me afloat). i spend most of my time hiding from my friends. i don't have any hobbies besides this poker game that i avoid whenever i can. i'm even avoiding my blog.
i'm 22, almost 23. its time for me to do something or risk spending the rest of my life slanging pizzas for chump change and smoking just so i can function in this dumb little existance i've created for myself. meh, what does it matter anyways. i doubt i'll ever find anything that makes me really happy. might as well jump the gun and move on before i start getting pissed at the way things are now, start the process all over again. maybe i'll just rename myself wanktaro oe and start freeloading across the US, taking ass jobs for little money and jot things down in a little notebook.
LIFE IS STUDY!
i just need something. i don't do anything. i don't have anything i enjoy doing enough to actually put forth the effort. there is really nothing worth saving in my life right now. job, friends, hobbies, they all seem so lackluster. i love living in seattle, but what is there for me here? could i just up and move, relocate myself somewhere completely different? the more i think about it, there is absolutely no reason for me to stay in seattle besides seattle itself. could i actually live anywhere else? would i function in another environment? shit, am i even functioning now?
lets face it. i make minimum wage (plus tips that keep me afloat). i spend most of my time hiding from my friends. i don't have any hobbies besides this poker game that i avoid whenever i can. i'm even avoiding my blog.
i'm 22, almost 23. its time for me to do something or risk spending the rest of my life slanging pizzas for chump change and smoking just so i can function in this dumb little existance i've created for myself. meh, what does it matter anyways. i doubt i'll ever find anything that makes me really happy. might as well jump the gun and move on before i start getting pissed at the way things are now, start the process all over again. maybe i'll just rename myself wanktaro oe and start freeloading across the US, taking ass jobs for little money and jot things down in a little notebook.
LIFE IS STUDY!
