Wednesday, March 10, 2004
i will never be a voice of reason. i'm sorry if i have misled you into thinking that i am somehow anchored into some sort of wierd rational universe. i'm not. things can't always be rational. there is an underlying order to everything, sure, but it is too complex for us to ultimately understand. thats what makes things so much fun, eh? just when you have figured everything out, you have to scrap all your code and start over from scratch because things aren't what you thought they were. my ideals change every 5 minutes. my thoughts change every 5 minutes. eventually i think i'll figure out just how much of my reality is based on the perceptions of my subconcious, and i'll realize how malleable my life really is. what is the world around us? is it just a series of impulses my brain is trying to process, the same as they process my dreams when i'm asleep? i'm thinking there is a lot more overlap than i think. which is good, because i like dreaming. dreaming is fun. its like reading a book or watching a movie, but its a direct link into my mind instead. how many levels of perception do i have? obviously at least two, because my mind is trying to set up a direct link to my mind right now, which seems counterproductive since they are the same thing. maybe someday i'll figure out how to pick which level of perception to be in, which will in essence change the rest of the world around me. i'll go back and change the dream i had where my friend had a shark as a pet. it attacked him. why did he have a shark as a pet in the first place, that wasn't very smart at all. i told him so, both in my dream and in real life. at least i think i did. i'm sure i told him in at least one, and that memory may be superimposing itself over the other. i don't know. i know that i told him though, which is good. its not like it was a little shark either. it was a huge shark, we had to dig out this huge pit to keep it in so it had enough room to swim around. sweet dreams everyone, stay away from the sharks, they don't make very good pets.
