Monday, January 24, 2005
Hair, GONE. it is such a painful experience
one kind of nice thing, the hair stylist was really sad when she cut it. she said it was beautiful hair, and kept asking me if i was sure i wanted it cut before she started. i have kind of a wierd relationship with my hair. i am pretty vain when it comes to my hair. which is strange, because i never do anything to it. i don't comb it, or brush it, or anything, i just run my fingers through it and see what happens. day to day it would be different, sometimes sublty, sometimes much more drastically.
i really liked having long hair, because it had its own character. i think that everyone grew their hair out, it would be easier for people to form a sense of personal identity. instead of trying to look like someone else, you can use your hair as another accessory. i always thought maybe it was just me, because most people looked at me like i was crazy for having long hair, but i liked the way it looked, and i liked the fact that it was completely mine. no one had hair like mine because everyone's hair is different.
anyways, it was nice to get a little reaffrimation of my vanities from the hairstylist. it was nice hair, after all.
on the flipside, it is nice to see it go. now i can shave without worrying about looking like some wierd, tall, anime hermaphrodite. too tall to be a woman, too pretty to be a man! is it wearing a wig? oh well, it will grow back. it just feels like i've lost an arm or something and i haven't noticed yet. something feels wrong, but i can't quite figure out what it is.
really, i'm just trying to avoid the fact that my one month sabbatical is over, and i have to go get a job by the end of the week. it is enough to tie my stomach into knots. why is it so scary? this job is going to be the sweetest setup in the world. i am practically guaranteed to be hired, there are low expectations, it is beyond flexible, and i still get to drive all day, without having to work in a dumb restaurant. i'm not afraid of the job, i'm afraid of the process of change. i'm perfectly happy curled up in a ball in the corner of my room doing nothing.
that is what i've learned today
i'm not afraid of change, i'm afraid of getting the ball rolling. inertia is funny like that.
R.I.P Hair. 5/03 - 1/05
one kind of nice thing, the hair stylist was really sad when she cut it. she said it was beautiful hair, and kept asking me if i was sure i wanted it cut before she started. i have kind of a wierd relationship with my hair. i am pretty vain when it comes to my hair. which is strange, because i never do anything to it. i don't comb it, or brush it, or anything, i just run my fingers through it and see what happens. day to day it would be different, sometimes sublty, sometimes much more drastically.
i really liked having long hair, because it had its own character. i think that everyone grew their hair out, it would be easier for people to form a sense of personal identity. instead of trying to look like someone else, you can use your hair as another accessory. i always thought maybe it was just me, because most people looked at me like i was crazy for having long hair, but i liked the way it looked, and i liked the fact that it was completely mine. no one had hair like mine because everyone's hair is different.
anyways, it was nice to get a little reaffrimation of my vanities from the hairstylist. it was nice hair, after all.
on the flipside, it is nice to see it go. now i can shave without worrying about looking like some wierd, tall, anime hermaphrodite. too tall to be a woman, too pretty to be a man! is it wearing a wig? oh well, it will grow back. it just feels like i've lost an arm or something and i haven't noticed yet. something feels wrong, but i can't quite figure out what it is.
really, i'm just trying to avoid the fact that my one month sabbatical is over, and i have to go get a job by the end of the week. it is enough to tie my stomach into knots. why is it so scary? this job is going to be the sweetest setup in the world. i am practically guaranteed to be hired, there are low expectations, it is beyond flexible, and i still get to drive all day, without having to work in a dumb restaurant. i'm not afraid of the job, i'm afraid of the process of change. i'm perfectly happy curled up in a ball in the corner of my room doing nothing.
that is what i've learned today
i'm not afraid of change, i'm afraid of getting the ball rolling. inertia is funny like that.
R.I.P Hair. 5/03 - 1/05
