valentines day is within sight. a holiday of polarization. for couples, it is us vs. everyone else, a time time to become closer however they can. it seems like a lot of people use money, lots of money. they drop cash in place of real feelings. which to them, i suppose turn into real feelings. it just seems like a shallow way to do things to me. anyone can buy something at a store.

for singles, it is me vs. everyone else. you get to see all of the couples in the world happy, or at least pretending to be. the painful part isn't how lonely you feel throughout the day, it is the fact that things are exactly the same for you. it is a holiday you can't participate in, leaving you thinking about how lonely you are EVERY day. it isn't one day, it is one day that forces you to look at all of the days before, and all the days you know that are coming afterwards. the worst part is knowing that it is your fault. being alone is a choice. the fact that i know that all of my complaints are completely hollow makes me even more bitter.

i just can't handle it. i have never had a real valentine, i don't even know why they are all so happy. why do i get so worked up over one day, one day that is the same as all the others anyways. meh, valentines day is always soon forgotten. 8 days later, there is always a holiday i can't be excluded from. even if i am celebrating alone, my birthday is always a celebration of me.

frivved up by Ben at 3:19 PM