the shower didn't even work! i just sat in there and cooked. i tried to use the mindnumbing effects of the internet to no avail. at least i am going from angry to resigned. i need to stop thinking before i start transferring the anger to myself again. i am not mad at myself. if i really tried, i know i could find things to gnaw at, but that would just make things worse.

so now what do i do with myself... i am going to focus this smoldering rage on my poor tiny plastic guitar controller. i need escape. i need something that isn't real or important. i need just enough distraction to allow me to sleep tonight.

frivved up by Ben at 8:20 PM