Wednesday, December 06, 2006
frustrating. today left me frustrated. i am still frustrated tonight. i am mostly frustrated because the thing i want the most is the thing i can't have right now. all i really want is to be alone with my girlfriend, but the world isn't having any of it. work is fired. i need to take a vacation to my apartment so i can lay in bed all day with her, like i want to be doing.
i only got to see her for 10 minutes today because of work and the bus. i got to talk to her for a few minutes on the phone, but we were both in a bad mood because of work and the bus. it was a conversation between two people tired enough to make terrible conversationalists, and it was still one of the better parts of my day. my happyness quota for the day has not been filled, and there is nothing i can do about it. she is going to bed, and i just wish i could be there with her. i wish we didn't have our stupid weekday lives to live tomorrow.
i am going crazy. i don't know what to do about it. i feel like today was completely out of my hands. i feel like today was stolen from me, that it completely slipped out of my grasp. that is scary because as brief as it was, she was still a part of my day. i don't want to let our time together or our conversations slip away from me again, it was very frustrating in hindsight. i am mostly frustrated because we don't get to spend as much time together as i would like, and i am not quite certain how to fix it.
complain complain. here i am complaining on my blog instead of trying to find solutions with her. my work week is really cramping my style right now. today left before seven am, and got back after eight pm. this is a problem. i devoted thirteen hours to work to get paid for eight. using some morbid math, it amounts to a $4.50 per hour pay cut, and worse it leaves me too with little time. i am just full of problems i don't know how to fix tonight.
i am going to stop this now, it isn't very constructive. maybe my mind just needed an outlet tonight, i don't know. i am frustrated with the way this whole writing thing turned out tonight.
i only got to see her for 10 minutes today because of work and the bus. i got to talk to her for a few minutes on the phone, but we were both in a bad mood because of work and the bus. it was a conversation between two people tired enough to make terrible conversationalists, and it was still one of the better parts of my day. my happyness quota for the day has not been filled, and there is nothing i can do about it. she is going to bed, and i just wish i could be there with her. i wish we didn't have our stupid weekday lives to live tomorrow.
i am going crazy. i don't know what to do about it. i feel like today was completely out of my hands. i feel like today was stolen from me, that it completely slipped out of my grasp. that is scary because as brief as it was, she was still a part of my day. i don't want to let our time together or our conversations slip away from me again, it was very frustrating in hindsight. i am mostly frustrated because we don't get to spend as much time together as i would like, and i am not quite certain how to fix it.
complain complain. here i am complaining on my blog instead of trying to find solutions with her. my work week is really cramping my style right now. today left before seven am, and got back after eight pm. this is a problem. i devoted thirteen hours to work to get paid for eight. using some morbid math, it amounts to a $4.50 per hour pay cut, and worse it leaves me too with little time. i am just full of problems i don't know how to fix tonight.
i am going to stop this now, it isn't very constructive. maybe my mind just needed an outlet tonight, i don't know. i am frustrated with the way this whole writing thing turned out tonight.
