Tuesday, December 12, 2006
i like christmas. there are parts of it i hate, but if it was just me and my family and my friends, and the rest of the world didn't exist, i would love christmas more than any other time of the year. i like giving people presents. i like finding things i think they will like, and spending my own money on them, with no expectation of equal reciprocation. i don't try to spend a set amount on someone, or try to keep things fair. i do get more for my mom, partly because it is so fun to see her get presents, and partly because her birthday is in december too so i get her twice as much stuff. christmas is one of the only times of the year i allow myself to spend my money without worrying. i spend all year pinching and saving, but christmas time rolls around and i forget all about that. i never spend beyond my means, but i use what i have available
i am a very frugal person, which is kind of ironic considering how much pleasure i get out of spending money. i have this irrational fear of money that has given me this will power to stop myself from spending. i push grocery shopping as far as possible, sometimes going weeks eating scraps from the cabinets after all the real food is gone, just to save a few extra dollars. i haven't bought clothes in years, i avoid going out to movies or spending money on entertainment, and generally i don't buy things for myself unless i absolutely need them. i even can adjust my smoking habits down to nothing if i need too with no problem, if money even comes close to being an issue. it is strange, because i always have a surplus of money. i keep myself above a certain amount in my savings and my checking, money that is not for spending. if i even come close to it, i shut down everything. i think going forward my system of handling my finances is going to be one of the most important things i have taught myself.
what i really love about it, is it allows me the freedom to spend on big ticket items that are way out of my payscale. i never spend on spec, i always spend when i have the money to do things. my credit card is really just for the convenience of having plastic, and for the 30 day grace period that lets me straddle paychecks if i need too. but i will spend. i will spend hundreds and thousands of dollars at a time when there is something i want, be it computer upgrades, vintage leather couches, new cars, whatever. i feel i can maintain a general quality of life i shouldn't be able too.
but yeah, anyways, my christmas shopping is pretty much done, if i want it to be. i think i am going to get a few more smaller things for people, but the big stuff is all done. i spent more than i was expecting too a few months ago, but it is worth it. i also have two new people i was buying for, which makes me happy. i struggled a little with what to get jordan, but as long as he doesn't already have what i got him, it will be great. i think made out alright, and i think everyone will like their presents, which is really why i do it. i want to get people things they will enjoy. alright, i need to stop talking about this now, before 'presents' goes from vague to specific. i am really bad at keeping secrets when i get excited. i will say i had the most fun shopping for christi :) it required a different thought process, one that i enjoyed. i hope i did alright. dammit, now i am all nervous!
now, i am going to enjoy my christmas gift to myself. on sunday, i fully meant to zone myself out, but i got sidetracked. yesterday, i fully meant to zone myself out, but by the time 11:00 rolled around, i realized i hadn't even taken a shower yet, let alone smoke, so it just didn't happen. my shower was so late, apparently i even missed a call from my girlfriend, which kind of sucked. despite trying to work it into my plans it just didn't happen. i have been avoiding my new christmas greenery for days and days and days, and i don't know why. it hasn't really been a conscious thing, but it probably explains why i have been a little more cracked out than usual. but tonight i got home early, matt is already gone, i've already eaten dinner, and now i have no excuses. i have the last beer in the house, a brand new glass piece iced down with fresh water, and a playlist full of music. i am going to get so much sleep tonight, i am almost drooling at the thought. simple pleasures :)
i am a very frugal person, which is kind of ironic considering how much pleasure i get out of spending money. i have this irrational fear of money that has given me this will power to stop myself from spending. i push grocery shopping as far as possible, sometimes going weeks eating scraps from the cabinets after all the real food is gone, just to save a few extra dollars. i haven't bought clothes in years, i avoid going out to movies or spending money on entertainment, and generally i don't buy things for myself unless i absolutely need them. i even can adjust my smoking habits down to nothing if i need too with no problem, if money even comes close to being an issue. it is strange, because i always have a surplus of money. i keep myself above a certain amount in my savings and my checking, money that is not for spending. if i even come close to it, i shut down everything. i think going forward my system of handling my finances is going to be one of the most important things i have taught myself.
what i really love about it, is it allows me the freedom to spend on big ticket items that are way out of my payscale. i never spend on spec, i always spend when i have the money to do things. my credit card is really just for the convenience of having plastic, and for the 30 day grace period that lets me straddle paychecks if i need too. but i will spend. i will spend hundreds and thousands of dollars at a time when there is something i want, be it computer upgrades, vintage leather couches, new cars, whatever. i feel i can maintain a general quality of life i shouldn't be able too.
but yeah, anyways, my christmas shopping is pretty much done, if i want it to be. i think i am going to get a few more smaller things for people, but the big stuff is all done. i spent more than i was expecting too a few months ago, but it is worth it. i also have two new people i was buying for, which makes me happy. i struggled a little with what to get jordan, but as long as he doesn't already have what i got him, it will be great. i think made out alright, and i think everyone will like their presents, which is really why i do it. i want to get people things they will enjoy. alright, i need to stop talking about this now, before 'presents' goes from vague to specific. i am really bad at keeping secrets when i get excited. i will say i had the most fun shopping for christi :) it required a different thought process, one that i enjoyed. i hope i did alright. dammit, now i am all nervous!
now, i am going to enjoy my christmas gift to myself. on sunday, i fully meant to zone myself out, but i got sidetracked. yesterday, i fully meant to zone myself out, but by the time 11:00 rolled around, i realized i hadn't even taken a shower yet, let alone smoke, so it just didn't happen. my shower was so late, apparently i even missed a call from my girlfriend, which kind of sucked. despite trying to work it into my plans it just didn't happen. i have been avoiding my new christmas greenery for days and days and days, and i don't know why. it hasn't really been a conscious thing, but it probably explains why i have been a little more cracked out than usual. but tonight i got home early, matt is already gone, i've already eaten dinner, and now i have no excuses. i have the last beer in the house, a brand new glass piece iced down with fresh water, and a playlist full of music. i am going to get so much sleep tonight, i am almost drooling at the thought. simple pleasures :)
