Sunday, May 20, 2007
it is strange, sitting here. inside my head i have this list of things that i know are going to happen at some point in the future. but i am sitting here doing nothing, and that doesn't effect the inevitable outcomes. i see these things, and have these dreams, and it becomes obvious in my mind. and then, it just becomes a matter of watching the obstacles drift away until it finally happens. it is such a feeling of satisfaction watching it again, as everything unfolds as you know it will. and then it is done, and it fades into the background, because everything is normal and how it should be.
i no longer trouble myself with the whys, because i can focus on which outcomes are correct. i see the problems, i see the failures, and sometimes it still consumes me and things fall apart. but through that i see what i want, and how i want to be. but i am not merely content with finding the answer just in time to hop away from danger. i can build myself a future i want to see, and surround myself with only opportunities to see it realized. let the failures come as a surprise, and be the exceptions that point me toward further growth.
i no longer trouble myself with the whys, because i can focus on which outcomes are correct. i see the problems, i see the failures, and sometimes it still consumes me and things fall apart. but through that i see what i want, and how i want to be. but i am not merely content with finding the answer just in time to hop away from danger. i can build myself a future i want to see, and surround myself with only opportunities to see it realized. let the failures come as a surprise, and be the exceptions that point me toward further growth.
