Tuesday, March 10, 2009
oh my. oh my oh my. strange things are afoot at the circle k.
this poor, neglected webspace. once a bastion of unnecessary turns of grammar and vocabulary, now relegated to sit silently, waiting for token updates that constitute lip service at best. and why? i don't even know. for two years i have been taking a sabbatical from thought. considering directly before that i took a sabbatical from everything else to immerse myself solely in thought, something seems to be out of whack. i mean, it is hard to call those two little periods anything but polar opposites. which means balance. i'm not saying i can go back to that, be it self-dissectio, or the fanatical chronicling of the mundane. but it always served a very important purpose. it kept me from flying off the handle, kept things a little more centralized and focused, instead of erratic and reactionary. so, in the interest of the blog itself, i break the number one rule of blogging: never blog about your blog. i admit it, it was a sneaky ploy to get words on the page, to get the dialogue going.
so what has been happening instead? it has forced me to put a spotlight my speaking and conversational abilities, as that has become my main outlet. i feel very accomplished in that regard. i can hold up my end in pretty much any situation, which is a good thing. i will never exactly be gifted in this aspect, not like i am here, but i don't think of myself as stunted anymore. i am still prone to letting my internal monologue drown out the whole reality portion of things, but it is no longer so pronounced enough to become an issue. will my oral communication skills ever match up to the words i can put on a page? most definitely not, but there were never any illusions in that area.
hmm. there we go. there, we have found the point, right there. the practical side of the balance i was alluding too in general terms. ignore the social aspect, and you lose the ability to communicate ideas to other people. but, ignore the introspective aspect, and you lose the ability to form ideas and structure them in a way that can be communicated to other people, leaving conversation as an empty string of words propelled forward solely by non-verbal cues. so the idea to implant into our subconscious today is there. using introspective thought (illustrated here as a written outpouring of ideas) and social connection (illustrated here as interpersonal communication, ideally face-to-face) to compliment each other and enhance both the formulation of new ideas and thought processes and the ability to communicate them wholly to other people.
the words themselves are only one part. there is the intention behind the words that needs to be communicated as well, otherwise the idea is lost in a teacher-from-peanuts type drone. and nonverbal cues are such an invaluable way to transmit this intention. i think that may be what is so engaging about my writing. i write as if i am trying to communicate fully to something else. i write for myself, but not too myself. i am trying to sell this screen on what i am saying. somehow i think i manage to splice a separate layer of subtext into the words themselves that simulates nonverbal communication. it is all about conveying the structure of the thought process, not simply the thought itself. instead of just telling someone something and expecting them to understand, first insert them into the flow of information that leads natural towards that eventual something so they can piece it together with you while you are telling them.
i think that may be the best i have ever been able to describe that idea, inserting them into the flow of thought. it is what gives me brief flashes of intuition. i am not saying i am naturally intuitive, or even consistently for that matter, but there is no denying that sometimes when you talk to me, i can pick up immediately on what you are saying, and run right through it with you. because sometimes i pluck that original thread of thought out of the beginning of the conversation, and try in my own mind to follow it to a natural conclusion while you are trying to explain the idea you have already worked out for yourself before me. i guess that is what i try to do, a lot of times at least. put you on the boat right next to me.
well, i just ran out of steam, and i need to go to work. i'm not going to say i'll be back this time, but i hope too. i think i may have hit on something i hadn't before, and it reminds me of why this place was and is so important to me.
this poor, neglected webspace. once a bastion of unnecessary turns of grammar and vocabulary, now relegated to sit silently, waiting for token updates that constitute lip service at best. and why? i don't even know. for two years i have been taking a sabbatical from thought. considering directly before that i took a sabbatical from everything else to immerse myself solely in thought, something seems to be out of whack. i mean, it is hard to call those two little periods anything but polar opposites. which means balance. i'm not saying i can go back to that, be it self-dissectio, or the fanatical chronicling of the mundane. but it always served a very important purpose. it kept me from flying off the handle, kept things a little more centralized and focused, instead of erratic and reactionary. so, in the interest of the blog itself, i break the number one rule of blogging: never blog about your blog. i admit it, it was a sneaky ploy to get words on the page, to get the dialogue going.
so what has been happening instead? it has forced me to put a spotlight my speaking and conversational abilities, as that has become my main outlet. i feel very accomplished in that regard. i can hold up my end in pretty much any situation, which is a good thing. i will never exactly be gifted in this aspect, not like i am here, but i don't think of myself as stunted anymore. i am still prone to letting my internal monologue drown out the whole reality portion of things, but it is no longer so pronounced enough to become an issue. will my oral communication skills ever match up to the words i can put on a page? most definitely not, but there were never any illusions in that area.
hmm. there we go. there, we have found the point, right there. the practical side of the balance i was alluding too in general terms. ignore the social aspect, and you lose the ability to communicate ideas to other people. but, ignore the introspective aspect, and you lose the ability to form ideas and structure them in a way that can be communicated to other people, leaving conversation as an empty string of words propelled forward solely by non-verbal cues. so the idea to implant into our subconscious today is there. using introspective thought (illustrated here as a written outpouring of ideas) and social connection (illustrated here as interpersonal communication, ideally face-to-face) to compliment each other and enhance both the formulation of new ideas and thought processes and the ability to communicate them wholly to other people.
the words themselves are only one part. there is the intention behind the words that needs to be communicated as well, otherwise the idea is lost in a teacher-from-peanuts type drone. and nonverbal cues are such an invaluable way to transmit this intention. i think that may be what is so engaging about my writing. i write as if i am trying to communicate fully to something else. i write for myself, but not too myself. i am trying to sell this screen on what i am saying. somehow i think i manage to splice a separate layer of subtext into the words themselves that simulates nonverbal communication. it is all about conveying the structure of the thought process, not simply the thought itself. instead of just telling someone something and expecting them to understand, first insert them into the flow of information that leads natural towards that eventual something so they can piece it together with you while you are telling them.
i think that may be the best i have ever been able to describe that idea, inserting them into the flow of thought. it is what gives me brief flashes of intuition. i am not saying i am naturally intuitive, or even consistently for that matter, but there is no denying that sometimes when you talk to me, i can pick up immediately on what you are saying, and run right through it with you. because sometimes i pluck that original thread of thought out of the beginning of the conversation, and try in my own mind to follow it to a natural conclusion while you are trying to explain the idea you have already worked out for yourself before me. i guess that is what i try to do, a lot of times at least. put you on the boat right next to me.
well, i just ran out of steam, and i need to go to work. i'm not going to say i'll be back this time, but i hope too. i think i may have hit on something i hadn't before, and it reminds me of why this place was and is so important to me.
