Tuesday, May 26, 2009
where to go, where to go little brain. tell me, why do you deserve a vacation? are you really content to follow along, awash in giddy afterglow? hiding will only make things worse, because i will flush you out, and if i catch you unawares you will look like quite the fool. now i have you cornered, and you will dance for me.
lets talk intuition. this is a conversation thread that keeps popping up, yet i have avoided for some reason. it has come up with mixed connotations, ones that i was unsure how to approach. we humans do have a knack for sniffing out unseen clues. we get premonitions that we often dismiss, i won't go as far as saying that this is to our detriment. i am a believer in intuition, for sure, but i am not exactly a servant to it. there comes a certain point at which focusing on premonition fosters a sort of sympathetic intuitive loop in which everything becomes some sort of sign or signal. this is something i am wary of, because it drowns out real insight in a white noise of false pattern recognition.
this is such a touchy subject with me. it is such a vital part of what makes my mind work for me instead of against me, but it falls into a huge grey area that has the capability of bringing down my whole mental structure. precognition has such a supernatural context, but that is not where i am coming from with it. to me, it is more a side effect, a tool to be drawn upon, and yet to me still totally unreliable. well, unreliable may be the wrong word. unpredictable maybe? in any case, i can't foster my own intuitive leaps. that is probably the toughest aspect to accept, and why people who become slaves to their intuition ultimately end up hindering themselves. forewarning is not foreknowledge without the proper context, so unnecessary action based on a threat that is simply perceived instead of actualized can be harmful, potentially a sort of mental psychosomatism that can lead to delusional paranoia.
even having to put these caveats out there hurts me. like i said, my intuition is a huge part of who i am, and one of the main factors in how i choose to lead my life. i would never be able to adopt such a heedless, nonchalant attitude without a deep trust in my intuition, because i can be a fairly paranoid person. without a certain amount of foreknowledge, i get uncomfortable. and yet here i am, far from crippled. i can approach situations with a certain amount of confidence due to the belief that my premonitions will fill in the gaps, and at least provide enough of a buffer to allow me to recognize and react to previously unseen threats. it is not something i can call out too, to draw on. i do not have the proper understanding of the process for that. that would be the ideal, to have a borderline clairvoyance, to be able to control the intuitive process and apply it at will to any situation, but i am far from that point. for now, i am happy that i can at least recognize my premonitions and incorporate that knowledge.
so yes, i believe in intuition and premonition. yes, i do rely heavily on these things, but it is more at a theoretical level, an abstract trust instead of a concrete usage. the device that controls this aspect of my brain is something of an unknown, and therefore unreliable. and so here we are, tightening our grasp...
lets talk intuition. this is a conversation thread that keeps popping up, yet i have avoided for some reason. it has come up with mixed connotations, ones that i was unsure how to approach. we humans do have a knack for sniffing out unseen clues. we get premonitions that we often dismiss, i won't go as far as saying that this is to our detriment. i am a believer in intuition, for sure, but i am not exactly a servant to it. there comes a certain point at which focusing on premonition fosters a sort of sympathetic intuitive loop in which everything becomes some sort of sign or signal. this is something i am wary of, because it drowns out real insight in a white noise of false pattern recognition.
this is such a touchy subject with me. it is such a vital part of what makes my mind work for me instead of against me, but it falls into a huge grey area that has the capability of bringing down my whole mental structure. precognition has such a supernatural context, but that is not where i am coming from with it. to me, it is more a side effect, a tool to be drawn upon, and yet to me still totally unreliable. well, unreliable may be the wrong word. unpredictable maybe? in any case, i can't foster my own intuitive leaps. that is probably the toughest aspect to accept, and why people who become slaves to their intuition ultimately end up hindering themselves. forewarning is not foreknowledge without the proper context, so unnecessary action based on a threat that is simply perceived instead of actualized can be harmful, potentially a sort of mental psychosomatism that can lead to delusional paranoia.
even having to put these caveats out there hurts me. like i said, my intuition is a huge part of who i am, and one of the main factors in how i choose to lead my life. i would never be able to adopt such a heedless, nonchalant attitude without a deep trust in my intuition, because i can be a fairly paranoid person. without a certain amount of foreknowledge, i get uncomfortable. and yet here i am, far from crippled. i can approach situations with a certain amount of confidence due to the belief that my premonitions will fill in the gaps, and at least provide enough of a buffer to allow me to recognize and react to previously unseen threats. it is not something i can call out too, to draw on. i do not have the proper understanding of the process for that. that would be the ideal, to have a borderline clairvoyance, to be able to control the intuitive process and apply it at will to any situation, but i am far from that point. for now, i am happy that i can at least recognize my premonitions and incorporate that knowledge.
so yes, i believe in intuition and premonition. yes, i do rely heavily on these things, but it is more at a theoretical level, an abstract trust instead of a concrete usage. the device that controls this aspect of my brain is something of an unknown, and therefore unreliable. and so here we are, tightening our grasp...
