Monday, May 11, 2009
denial of context, here we come...
i am not really sure where i am, or where i am going. i am sitting here in limbo, just waiting, ensconced in the present. this immediate present, this particular moment holds nothing, thus my confusion. so, where do i drift? do i dredge into the past, and try to cull lessons from the vastness of my personal experiences? as vast as a pond! a man made pond that dries up every summer, and refills when the groundwater level rises again. it is a nice pond, i guess. somewhat overrun with bullfrogs. mistakes from the past that just keep breeding themselves, and now i can't get rid of them. i guess in need predatory life experiences, something stronger, yet less environmentally destructive. what eats bullfrogs? foxes? mongeese? this metaphor is certainly getting convoluted, but that is fine. it is supposed to lack context.
or, do i flit into the future. a future where apparently all we need is to be stronger than the mistakes of the past. that sounds fine. that will lead to a rosy future, for sure. magical roses that never wither and have no thorns. the future is bright indeed.
and so here we are, brimming with strength and a boundless future. sitting in my underwear, waiting to spring into action. always waiting. this moment in time is fine, i guess. dwelling on it keeps me from dwelling on other things, such as past mistakes and future unknowns.
i am not really sure where i am, or where i am going. i am sitting here in limbo, just waiting, ensconced in the present. this immediate present, this particular moment holds nothing, thus my confusion. so, where do i drift? do i dredge into the past, and try to cull lessons from the vastness of my personal experiences? as vast as a pond! a man made pond that dries up every summer, and refills when the groundwater level rises again. it is a nice pond, i guess. somewhat overrun with bullfrogs. mistakes from the past that just keep breeding themselves, and now i can't get rid of them. i guess in need predatory life experiences, something stronger, yet less environmentally destructive. what eats bullfrogs? foxes? mongeese? this metaphor is certainly getting convoluted, but that is fine. it is supposed to lack context.
or, do i flit into the future. a future where apparently all we need is to be stronger than the mistakes of the past. that sounds fine. that will lead to a rosy future, for sure. magical roses that never wither and have no thorns. the future is bright indeed.
and so here we are, brimming with strength and a boundless future. sitting in my underwear, waiting to spring into action. always waiting. this moment in time is fine, i guess. dwelling on it keeps me from dwelling on other things, such as past mistakes and future unknowns.
