oh, i forgot to mention. a few days ago, in my random archive perusal, i found that post about the dream i was talking about, the secret agenty one, with the dudes in the street, and oh man did it trigger a flood of memories. apparently i woke up when i was about to set off a soul bomb, which if i remember correctly was this machine that sent human souls as a weapon out of this vacuum cleaner looking thing in howling white streaks, kind of like a reverse-ghostbusters sort of thing. i also remembered the oppressive dread when i saw this guy on the street, and i knew i had to drop my rocket launcher and run because he was on a different level than me. all i will ever have is a hazy figure coming towards me, black suit and sunglasses, dark hair, upright back, before i ran. until i have that dream again, and maybe next time i will stand tall and face him. it might end with me getting shot in the head again though. those dreams usually end with me waking up fairly abruptly, but not always. sometimes, i slip into almost a dream within a dream, a sort of floating purgatory while i try to come to grips with what happened, and why i am not really dead. surviving being shot with a flamethrower and continuing the dream alive is one thing, but a bullet to the head has a sort of finality to it that is hard to escape.

frivved up by Ben at 4:27 PM