since everyone is coming to look for progress quest right now, my character is the worst level 37 character there is. i'm a talking pony/bastard lunatic named Spankums. for some reason my main stat is Dex, which does absolutely nothing for your character. i have like level 20 slime finger......

frivved up by Ben at 6:34 PM

so, i just and went and had a beer at the ram bar and grille with my dad. it is so much fun giving people my id :) anyways, i started drinking there, so i thought i might as well follow through and get good and drunk.....

i will leave you with a funny story from my day at work today. i was weeding, sitting there pulling weeds. you know, weeding. so this guy walks through the park, and he sees me, and he goes "so, what you doing, making christmas trees?" how the hell am i supposed to respond to that!!!!! i am sitting on my hands and knees pulling clover, and he asks me if i am making christmas trees. how do you make a christmas tree!!! THEY GROW!!! you don't make them. also, there were no trees at all in the area i was weeding. i was just like, uhhhh, noo...... it was the stupidest thing i have ever heard anyone say... anyways, it was really damn funny :)

frivved up by Ben at 6:17 PM

oh yeah, i want to post about communism one of these times, but i'm not sure if i will get around too it.....

frivved up by Ben at 2:51 PM

icq is thusly turned off, until next time i need it for a file transfer :)

here is something funny.... it is taking less and less time to read other peoples blogs, because they are updating less than they used to. this gives me more time to blog myself, thus the 7 post whatever marathon i had yesterday. no one else updated, so it seemed like the thing to do. what if people are spending so much time reading my blog, that they don't have time to update themselves?! i am screwing myself over!!!! i don't think that is the case. i think when i post more than like 3 paragraphs, people see it, read the first few lines, then skip down to the bottom to see if i said anything funny or wierd.

in other news, WAnkblog officially has a forum on the the Deez Nutz forums over there. if you have any comments or questions, or just want to come and tell me i am a moron, hop on over. its called WAnkizzity or something like that. i think it will be pretty fun to have my own forum :) kato let me moderate it, i feel so powerful. i have never actually been a mod on a forum, even with all the time i have spent on various forums around the net in the past 2 some years. anyways, drop by. go post. PLEASE. make me feel popular and wanted..... the forums are pretty cool so far. i am hoping these ones will stick around, unlike all the other forums the buffooned aliance has set up. they have all been taken down after a few weeks of heavy activity. i tried to set one up myself on wanked.net, but i don't know how to change the read write access of files so i couldn't actually get the damn thing installed. this is the next best thing :) i have my own forum, woooo HOOOooo. pretty damn exciting....

So, on to hoobastank. i've been listening to hoobastank a lot lately. it is kind of like a Jimmies meets Incubus meets Linkin Park meets Jimmy Eat World type of deal, i have decided... the more i listen too it, the less it sounds like Nu Metal, and the more it sounds like Emo. of course, i haven't really had much experience with Emo, so i can't really say. ryan says jimmy eat world is emo, so thats all i really have to base my opinion on. but it sounds a lot like them. i knew there was something familiar about it that i couldn't quite put my finger on. anyways, i like all those bands. thus i love hoobastank. and they have the best name ever. its fun to say, and it sounds like skank. that gets a booyah grandma from me. matt is in love with them too. also, i burned some cd by a band called default that matt downloaded. i haven't actually listened to it yet, but i usually trust matts judgement on new things, so its all good. i'll probably listen to some of it on the way home.

my car is on crack. i need to fill up that other tire with air, haha :) it just kind of jerks all over the place if i am not paying attention. i feel like such a gomer when i am driving, because i feel like i am swerving. at least it is better than when it wasn't full, where i felt like i was trying to corner in a tank.

i also finished my book last night. what a good book it was. it ended kind of abruptly, but at least the next one in the series is already out, and i'm borrowing it from my dad :) good deals. i think i am still lending a book to air, like the first book in the next series i was going to read, haha. matt has started rereading them, and it has reminded me of how much i absolutely loved the first few books in the series. if i didn't have to work or anything, i could probably just sit and read cheesy fantasy books all day long :) i have done it before... there was one summmer where i read for pretty much 6 weeks straight. there have been times where i have started reading one of my favorite series, and i just read, stopping only to eat and sleep really until all 5 books are done. i just stack them next to me, and when i finish one book, i pick up the next one and move my bookmark to the back of it. good god, reading this book made me realize how much i enjoy it. of course, it is really bad for my sleep too. i mean, now on top of going to sleep later than i should, i read for a few hours. i end up turning my light off at like 3:30 or so, only to have my alarm go off at 6:45. sheot, thats not much sleep. of course, it is much easier to actually fall asleep after i have been reading. it would have taken me an hour to fall asleep anyways, and that would have just been wasted time.....

frivved up by Ben at 2:49 PM

WHAT THE HELL

ok, i turned icq on to get those cds from matt so i could burn them. now, in the past few hours like 4 chicks from australia have icqed me wanting to talk to me. what the heck is going on!!! they are probably all just promoting their half porn sites trying to get me to come in and click their links and buy a membership and whatnot. but still, why are you all messaging me!!!! now i remember why i turned off icq, jesus. ever since aol bought it and the porn ads started pouring in, it is the most worthless spam filled internet appliance since having a hotmail account.....

frivved up by Ben at 10:40 PM

of course, the difficult part is actually going and changing your opinions about things. opinions are important. your opinions are something that no one can really take away from you. so to change an opinion you have is really difficult. it gets worse the longer you have said opinion. but once you finally do change it, it is always such a load off, because before you were basically just fooling yourself, convincing yourself that the previous opinion is really what you thought.

i think i come off as a flake a lot, because i don't really put as much stock in my own opinions as a lot of people do. i just don't really care about them enough to actually enforce them. this is why i don't vote, because i just don't care enough. so i re-evaluate, and i'm just like, oh, that was stupid. and then i change. i don't really tell people this, so the next time i am talking to someone about this, its like, oh i thought you thought this? like, telling my sister i liked nsync. she was just like, what the hell? ok..... and i was like, no really!!

i really think the ability to change ones opinion is almost empowering. its one of the few things we have almost complete control over. no one can force you to think someone. if they do, you can always go back later and change your opinion. your opinions are something that are entirely yours. so yeah, the eccentric side of me, or the eccentric whole of me i guess i should say like to change opinions. i guess i shouldn't say change, i should say tweak. i guess i see my opinions as a scientific theory of sorts that hasn't quite gotten published. i am always testing things, adjusting things. i think thats what my mind really is. the most complex theoretical idea to ever come into creation. it will never be ready to be published. i will always find something that isn't quite right that needs tweaking. oh yeah, and i don't think i have the most complex mind in the world, its just all i know. i've never been in anyone elses head, so how am i supposed to know how complex it is....

i LOVE this hoobastank album!!! track 3 sounds like a tantric song. the beginning of track 5 sounds like an incubus song. i like both of those groups. i'm in like flynn.

OH GOD!!!! today at work, all our bosses were gone. one of my old co-workers name Linda, one of the ones who just left who liked to complain ALL the time came back today to visit. it was hilarious, it was just her bitching about everything, in hushed tones. they were right outside of my office, so apparently there were things they thought i shouldn't hear, like i would care anyways. thats not the funny part. she said IN LIKE FLYNN. i was just like, hell yeah!!!! it was pretty funny.....

frivved up by Ben at 10:33 PM

so, me and matt got the rest of the hoobastank songs, replacing the ones that were crappy rips. he also got this album by default. i had never heard of them, but it is pretty sweet. HOOBASTANK

i could listen to crawling in the dark forever. everyone who says nu metal sucks SUCKS. fuck you guys, i mean what would you rather have popular, boy bands again? people complain about what is popular, no matter what it is. then when the next thing gets popular, everyone is like, oh i liked that back before it was cool, but now that it is popular i hate it because they sold out. fuck all that. i like it all. i like nu metal, hell, i even like boy bands now. i hated them forever, but now they rock. sometimes you just have to let go, step back from your first impressions and re-evaluate everything. a lot of times, you will realize you were stupid and brash the first time. then you can make a whole new opinion. take teenage dirtbag by wheetus for example. i hated it for a long time, because i couldn't tell whether they were guys or girls, and it scared me. i went on hating it. then one day i was listening too it, and i really listened to it, and i realized it was the best song EVER. i mean shit. sometimes you just have to change your mind about things.

frivved up by Ben at 10:22 PM

GAH, dammit. seriously though. i only get paid holiday pay based on how many hours i worked during the time period i think... that means i am going to get like 5.6 hours for holiday pay on presidents day instead of 8. that is SHAT. dammit i'm going to get like maybe like enough to pay rent this pay period. oh god. good thing i got some money for my birthday. so much for my new computer. FUCK. lol, why didn't i think of this before the stupid month began. so yeah, lets look this through. pay period started on the 16th, a weekend. 18th was presidents day. thats another day down. skipped last thursday for some reason, so its like 3 days. this week, because the month is only 28 days, that is like 4 days this week. so i have 7 days worked this pay period, instead of the 10 or 11 i usually have. bllaaaaahhhh..... 56 hours. add 5.6 holiday hours. 61.5 hours. subtract about 20% for taxes... thats like 49 hours. ok, so i have enough to pay rent. all my last paycheck went to creditcard bills from whistler, and christmas, and some other stuff from the last little bit. boooooooooooo. that on top of less money from a tax refund than expected = no money for computer. gah gah gah POOP. NO BAH BAH.

so yeah. i'll just keep with my computer right now. oh well, it works now that i changed around all of my drivers and stuff. i have it working so i can play some games at a decent level without it crashing. maybe if i could just buy a new hard drive, it would hold me over. hmmmmmm..... intruiging. i could buy a new hard drive now, fill it up with stuff, and then get ANOTHER new hard drive when i get my new computer whenever, and have double the hard drive b-ness. oh baby..... this plan has great possibilities. another good thing about this, it gives prices on the new geforce4 to drop. hmm, maybe they will even come out with some fast new something or other in the next few months. then i can get that too. the longer i wait, the lower prices go. at least i have that thought to tide me over.

wednesday is alllllmost over. starting in on thursday... thursday is usually a good day. a lot of times i get drunk on thrusday, because i only have 1 day to get through in my hungover state. this is a good thing. sounds like a plan...

frivved up by Ben at 3:11 PM

fooking shat short month. how am supposed to pay rent dammit!!!

frivved up by Ben at 2:54 PM

i figured out where texaco gets all their money. they charge 50 cents for that stupid air machine, and only give you enough time to realistically do one tire. so, i have one tire that is full right now, and the rest are pretty low. the one on my front passenger side is really low. my front driver side is full. it makes driving really wierd, it pulls all over the place. it is kind of funny, i feel like i am swerving everywhere.

what to say... some movie soundtracks are really good. they kind of sum up the feelings in the movie. like, in a beautiful mind. some of those songs are just dripping with feelings of creativity, intellectual stimulation, and enlightenment. you feel like you are part of the thought process behind his one good idea. other movies like braveheart, the song sums up the overall feeling behind the whole movement william wallace starts. in the main score, you are left with almost this sense of yearning. like, if you know what the movie is about, you can put yourself in their shoes by listening to the song, you want to be free. it is amazing how something a soundtrack can turn a good movie into an incredible movie.

music is a powerful thing. you can find a song for pretty much every mood you are in. or, you can use music to change your mood to something else. its crazyness. sheer crazyness i tell you!!!

i came back to work because i have to fill out my time sheet. i would not be back here if i didn't have to do that. i so wanted to stay home and take a nap.

speaking of home, there is this great show called the 5th wheel on WB right after blind date. when i am in the office, i get home in time to watch it at 12:30. matt watches it on his lunch break. oh god, todays episode was CRAZYNESS. one of the guys was just scary, and the chick who was the 5th wheel was the most fake person i have seen in my life. it was a frightening experience, watching them interact with the other 3 people. the other 3 people didn't really know what to do, so they sat around the entire time making fun of the other 2 people. it made for good watching.

hoopty oopty oopty hoopty SCHLAAAAA. that is part of one of the commercials from the sims. for some reason, it runs through my head from time to time. maybe because i listened too it so much when i was actually playing the game, because there were always so many damn people at my house watching it. when i get my new computer, i'm going to go download the sims and hot date. should be fun. of course, the main thing there is "when." who knows when it is actually going to be. my tax return is going to be less than i expected it to be. i am getting fucking shafted this year. they withheld like $3500 total from my paycheck this year or something, and i'm going to get less than $700 of it back. dammmmmmn youuuuuuuuu. i hate taxes. blah, i didn't even get a $300 break from GW. fuck you dubyah. i'll never see any of that whole damn tax break thing we spent 1.5 trillion dollars on or whatever. thats booty.

hey professah, whats another name for pirates treaaasure. i think its BOOTY.

i went back and looked at that blog in august where i was going to behead the traffic cop for giving me a parking ticket. it was pretty funny to read again. i was pretty graphic :) i wish i could just sit down and write a book. like, full on write a novel. that would rock. i don't think i could actually do it. i should just write another movie script. if i ever get my forums up, i'll start outlining a plot, and we can brainstorm ideas in there. no matter what happens, sensei slackmaster will be appearing in this next movie. i don't care how out of place it is, he is there. i should go back and clean up the HUBway script. screw that, its good how it is.

let the buffooned revolution begin... time to go make up some hours for my time sheet :P

frivved up by Ben at 2:16 PM

you know what is even better than a tempo rolling on dubs? a ford excursion rolling on chrome rims.

ford excursions are the funniest cars, ever. i mean seriously, their sole purpose in life is to be an example of america's gluttonous attitude, and it is glorious. people complain about SUV's, so we are like HAH, we'll make one thats twice as big, and uses four times as much gas!!! do people really need seating for 13 as they are driving around getting groceries? i mean seriously....

so yes, i am sitting here at work, no one in my office for once. it is a great thing. of course, i am not sure if anyone else is here besides me and maybe 2 other people. where are they? another don't know don't care type of thing. i wish my coworkers would care less about where i am, because if they take a day off or take a long lunch, i don't care. in fact, i cheer. a few of them could care less, but a few of them kind of look over me so i don't get fired and whatnot. i guess it is good, but dammit, some days when my bosses aren't here, i just want to go home without having to make up some lame excuse for them.

bweehahaha. the landlord for the office just showed up. i'm the one downstairs, so i usually get the door. this old guy in sweatpants shows up, and i am sitting here looking all scraggley, unshaven, hair disheveled, dirty work clothes on with a half dazed look on my face. i kind of open the door, say hi, he's like hi, i'm mike hoskins. i'm just like, oh! and he's like yeah, i'm the landlord, so i let him in, and he talks to someone else who has come over to see who it was. sorry landlord if i scared you or looked at you wrong.

bloop in the soouuuuup!!! i'm gonna go find the website for progress quest to see if anything happened to my guy. this is the greatest RPG ever... i'll be back later, when inspiration strikes!!

frivved up by Ben at 10:47 AM

oh, and if you have a chance, go back and read through some of your old blogs, if you have one. it can be a fairly fun experience :)

frivved up by Ben at 10:26 PM

Schizotypal
Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow

i went back and looked at that "rate your mental disorders disease" test everyone took a while ago. this one seems fairly accurate, and i scored very high. this, along with paranoid, and avoidant. bling bling, we have our winners...

frivved up by Ben at 10:26 PM

things are boring. i don't know why everything is boring. whenever it is not weekend, i am just bored. bored out of my mind. bored as hell. its not that the things i am doing are boring, its just that i could be doing other things i want to do, but i can't do because i have to work the next day. its like, screw work. screw everything. i really don't care about work. i hate it in fact.

today i sent out this huge email to that guy who is like the head of the native plant society. that means i am actually probably going to have to do stuff on this project. this stupid damn project. lol, it won't be too bad. i can play it off like i don't have any plant id knowledge, and i have tons of things to do, so it will fizzle out like everything else. i am sure he has better stuff to do than hang out with me.

OH OH.... before i forget. everything pales in comparison to the glory that is the Love Zone mannequin on 80th and 15th. this thing is perhaps the greatest thing in the history of mankind. it is one of the highlights of my day, driving past it. the day suddenly turns into a good day when they change the clothes on it. if it is possible to be in love with someone you have never met, let alone an inanimate object you have never met, i am in love with this mannequin. greatest thing.... evar.....

so yeah, back to other things. i have another full day in the office tomorrow. another day of bullshit and long lunches.

here is something for the truely lazy. i have found the perfect computer game for us. check it out, www.progressquest.com. absoultely brilliant.......

frivved up by Ben at 9:40 PM

driving while sneezing is a dangerous thing, especially since my sneezes tend to be more of a spasm than an acutal sneeze.... i spent about half the drive over sneezing for some reason.

my friend jing had this whole introspective blog go up, and he wondered if it would spring a whole round of introspective blogs. for all of our cases, lets hope that i don't. last time i did it the blog was over double the allotted blog size. i had to split it up into three seperate blogs to have blogger post anything besides [Big Body]. i wonder how long ago that was. i should go check that out. actually, it would probably be pretty interesting to do kind of an update thing. this is where i was, this is where i am kind of thing. DAMN YOU JING. remind me to go beat up jing next time i see him...

in other good news, no one is in my office right now. thus, i can blog. this makes wanks happy. of course, someone left their backpack in here, so they will be back. but until then, i can blog.

hopefully, i will have a WAnkBlog forum up sometime soon. for all of you who haven't checked out the new buffoonery.org forums, you should. there is a forum link over there. i think i am going to get my own blog forum, like manuel has now. that would be pimp and a half. i don't know how many sexual favors i am going to have to give to calen.....

i don't want to think anymore. yet, i still end up thinking. why think!!! NO THINK. sometimes i wish i could go back to the WHAR TANG, and why i breathe, mommmy? days of high school. blissful lazyness at ryans house. sure, we overstayed our welcome, but everyone was too lazy to care. there were pop and chips to keep us company. sometimes it is fun to dwell in the past, and think about how you would change things now. i mean, if i could go back to high school with the knowledge, experiences, having already gone through puberty, etc etc..... oh my god, how things could be different. of course i would be in school again, and school was just about the only thing i hated more that work. of course, it would be high school. high school was the perfect balance between slack and success. if i went and did it again, i bet i could refine that balance even more. that would rock.

i need to stop blogging, before i start thinking again. go check out the forums. i thought over there earlier. NO THINKING bad brain, bad. BAD. STOP. crap.......

frivved up by Ben at 1:57 PM

AND I'm FUCKING IN!!!!!!

Kung Pow, Enter the fist
Total US Gross $15,073,376
WAnk's guess (closest too without going over: $15,000,000

damn thing was hovering at 14.921 million forever, now it finally made it over. ohhhhhhh yeah, i win the bet, which gets me a whole lot of NOTHING BABY!

frivved up by Ben at 1:19 PM

i don't know if i have ever been this angry

[16:29] http://forums.lookandfeel.com/phorum/read.php?f=3&i=328&t=328
[16:30] http://www.supergreg.com
[16:30] NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[16:30] boycott
[16:30] BOYCOTT

Supergreg is not real. it was all a marketing ploy. i never knew there were commercials. apparently, there were commercials. i am mad. supergreg was my hero. now all i am left with is an archnemesis, and his name is buddy lee............

frivved up by Ben at 4:42 PM

wank wank wank, poop poop wank, poop adooop....

i need a nap. during my lunch break i was having trouble keeping my eyes open. i need a little break from thinking, i think. i'm going to try and turn my brain off for the next few days. one of my friends online, sparks, mentioned something about me brainwashing myself. for some reason this set me off on a whole new thought process. i didn't really sleep much last night, and i am still confused as to the implications of being able to brainwash yourself. if you brainwash yourself, does it actually turn into reality? i mean, the only people involved are you and yourself, so if both of you agree with what you are doing, shouldn't that make it be true or whatever? oh well

bryan, german ben, bryans sister moleeeesahhh (as bryan refers to her as) and i went frisbee golfing on campus on friday. it was pretty fun. i got considerably worse as the day went on for some reason. at one point we decided that our next hole should go through the hub. i managed to hit the door where the security guy sits. some old dude came running out, staring at us with shock and rage all over his face. then bryan managed to nail one of those poster things they have on the easels. the guy didn't know what to say. the actual security guard came out, and we were like, sorry sorry, we're out of here. the security guard was hilarious. he's like, oh, you guys are playing frisbee golf? and we were like yeah, we're on our way back out now after a quick hole in here. and he was like oh, ok, have fun!!! he then proceeded to explain to the other mad old dude that we were just playing through, and that the hub was just like a sand trap to us. the guy looked like he was about to poop himself. so we left, and continued our game. no one managed to actually hit anyone, although there were so close calls with all the people around. sorority girls can be especially stupid when it comes to playing frisbee golf. they kind of just wander past you, all in this big blob of a group, pinballing back and forth on the sidewalk. at one point, a bunch of them were right in front of me impeding my shot, and ben came up to me and said "ok, 10 points for ass, 25 points for boobs" and we both started cracking up. we always managed to swing it right over their head, or right around them though. when they saw the frisbee go past them. they kind of stopped, looked around stupidly, and then kept going, until the next one went past, and they repeated the whole thing. it was a good time though.

i'm turning off my head, now.......

frivved up by Ben at 2:44 PM

perhaps the greatest thing ever, is this thing called hoobastank. some reason i really like them right now. so yeah, good shizzzzzzz

this weekend, yeehaw. what a friday. i'll recount what i remember, and what i don't remember but i have been told happened.

set the stage, work ends, head to the liquor store and head home. me and matt both call the other house to see whats up. dan tells us to come over and we'll just head out from there. we get there, play some video games, get tired of it and are like hey guys, lets go, don't start another game. after a while of saying this and receiving mostly blank stares we realize they aren't coming, so we head upstairs to talk to air. he says he's too tired so we say fuck it and leave. head out, walk to earls on the ave. at this point, it is me, german ben, matt, bryan and jay. 5 of us, bomb on in. guy at the door is like "oh hey!! its been a while since you've been in huh!!" and we are all like, this is our first time actually.... he's just like oh, whatever. he tells me to show my thing to the bartender, and i'm like ok cool. and thus it begins, with a a round of rum and cokes. we sit down, chat, have a good time. head back, i get a long island iced tea as my free drink. after that, i think i get another rum and coke. then i get a white russian. then calen shows up, and we are all just like HELL YEAH!!! so our group grows, and all is well in the world. i get a double screw driver, and i think maybe one drink after that at earls. thus, we bomb out of earls. i am pretty trashed already. german ben has left at some point in the night and just went home to sleep without telling us. we check the bathrooms, can't find him, and figure he just left. on the way to the irish emmigrant. we are rowdy and loud, as you would expect. get into the bar. get another rum and coke. the guy at the door tells me to find todd upstairs to get a free drink. i try to get one downstairs but they say no sorry. so, we head upstairs. i finish my drink, and me and matt head out to find todd. we find him, i get another long island iced tea. there are two girls at the bar who congratulate on my birthday. i think i tried to talk to one of them while she shook my hand in a congratulatory manner, but actually using words didn't really work so i just kind of wandered back to our group.

this is where things start getting fuzzy. somewhere in here, i remember blake showing up and everyone cheering. i remember at some point some people sang happy birthday to me. i don't remember bp coming, but apparently he bought me another drink. i have no idea how many more drinks i had at the irish emmigrant after that long island iced tea, but apparently we were there for a good amount of time, most of which i don't remember. apparently, everyone sang to me a few more times. then, i remember being handed a phone with my friend from high school allison on the other line. i don't really remember the conversation, but she probably told us not to come over. matt ended up with the phone, and she gave him the address. i am told that we went to safeway on the way to allisons apartment. i am told we tried to get beer, but bryan came up and told him/her that we were drunk, and we were going to get more drunk mother fucker!!! and so the clerk said we couldn't have the beer. i am told we pushed blake around in a shopping cart for most of the way between safeway and allisons. i am told we stopped some random guy and talked to him for a while and he wished me happy birthday. i am also told that everyone told me to take off my pants before we went to allisons. so, i showed up at allisons with no pants on. i have a memory of allisons voice telling me to put my pants back on and me saying i couldn't, but no visual memory to go with it. we stayed there for about 3 minutes, realized nothing was going on and she didn't really want us there, so we left and started walking back home. at one point, i guess me and bryan just started running away from everyone. why, i don't remember. i don't even remember doing it. i do remember me and bryan walked past a frat pool party, and there were just hot mostly naked sluts filling the pool. we tried to get in, and they wouldn't let us, so we just kept going. we met up with everyone else, and we were going to run around in the ravene, but at this point i had one thing on my mind. go home, must find home, where am i, etc etc. i remember vaguely getting to the bridge, and just walking across it while everyone yelled at me. i remember stumbling around somewhere between the bridge and airs house, realized how much trouble i was having walking, and realizing i had no idea how to get home. i guess i turned at 70th, because i remember wandering up to the house from that direction. then, i woke up around noon the next morning, couldn't see straight, so just went back to bed. woke up about 4:30 hungover as all hell.

it was a good night, even though i can't remember over half of it. no one puked, everyone ended up home, it was a successful night :D

frivved up by Ben at 6:38 PM

head hurts, can't think no blog.


frivved up by Ben at 6:24 PM

as i lay in bed last night...... sitting there, not able to sleep, pondering the state of humankind. i kept thinking up ideas i thought were genius, but today i have been shooting them all down. i'm not ready to blog about them. tonight is not a night for thinking. TONIGHT IS A NIGHT FOR DRUNKFOONERY

ok, change of plans. just meet at air and travs. bryan isn't goign to kung fu, i'm gonna go over there 8 or 8:30 or something, maybe, i have no clue yet. whatever peace

frivved up by Ben at 6:29 PM

oh yeah, anyone who wants to come tonight, i think we are going to meet up at our house about 9 after bryan gets back from kung fu...

frivved up by Ben at 12:28 AM

lol, i think trip fell onto a key point, it all matters on your definition :D

i looked up altruism on dictionary.com, and they had the zoological term that noted self sacrifice for the good of the species. i still don't buy that for some reason. i buy it with bees, to some degree, but i'm not sure still that it is altruism. with bees, it is still a quest to pass on ones genes. the only way bees pass on their genes is through the queen. the rest are just mindless drones that are basically genetic duplicates of one another. so, they are still focusing on propigation, because the only way to ensure that their genes are passed on is to protect the queen.

i guess it comes down to my definition of altruism. altruism is doing something with a complete, utter lack of thought for oneself. something so purely selfless, that it can only be described as altruistic. this gets into a fuzzy area with me. i am more or less convinced that there is no such thing as perfection. when things start becoming complete, or pure, or perfect, i more or less automatically throw the definition out, or at least find a way to add an exception or 50 to it. nothing can ever be perfect, in my opinion. thus, nothing can ever be truely altruistic.

i believe that things can be loosely altruistic. if i loosen my definition of altruism, then humans can definitely show altruistic traits. i dunno, sometimes i am a contradiction, because i tend to be vague and gloss over a lot of things, but then be a stickler for nice firm definitions.

i have been thinking, and i don't believe that pure altruism exists anywhere. i do believe that humans can be loosely altruistic. i believe that at this juncture, humans are the only thing that we know of that have the capability of being loosely altruistic. i believe that someday, another animal, such as a dolphin or a chimp, some mammal that continues to disprove theories about the seperation between humans and the rest of nature will show altruistic traits. of course, not truely altruistic, but we will see some chimp going up to another hurt chimp, and carrying it up into a tree and let it sleep on its little branch or whatever while it watches over it. of course all the other chimps will be watching on, and this chimp will now be respected. this is the real reason the chimp did it, because he knew he was in full view of the other chimps, and he wanted to impress them.

physical evolution can only take things so far. there is only so much a body can be tweaked to have it make enough difference to actually dictate survival. eventually mental evolution comes into play. those that are smarter begin to survive as well. this evolution takes things to a point... the next phase in evolution is the point at which the species begins to have an understanding of nature, and more importantly an understanding of evolution. at this point, they can begin to manipulate nature, and more specifically, manipulate evolution. i haven't really though about it beyond this, because i can't observe beyond this. humans are in this third stage of evolution. i don't believe that we can actually step out of evolution. just, we can step out of the evolutionary tracts we have observed up to this point....

dammit, now i'm not going to be able to sleep. i'm going to be postulating theorys to define the evolutionary tract we have managed to rail ourselves into now...

frivved up by Ben at 12:26 AM

so, i've been curious, and cruising around. the last 3 paragraphs of this guys blog or journal or whatever kind of mirror what i was thinking, just much more clearly and succinctly. there is even a comment about altruism :D

http://www.studentdoctor.net/med/display.asp?ID=115

frivved up by Ben at 10:26 AM

calen is my new personal jesus christ :D http://kato.buffoonery.org/phpBB

frivved up by Ben at 10:06 AM

altruism doesn't happen in nature... at least it shouldn't.

everything done in nature should be done in a quest to pass on your genes. you protect yourself, you protect your offspring. anything done should have a direct correlation to these things. if you have an example that proves it otherwise, i'd be interested to see it because that would mean i need some changes to my thinking :) i'm curious as to what you meant by "look in your backyard."

frivved up by Ben at 10:32 PM

how does one even begin to try and explain their thought process to something else? to do so, you have to slow down your thought process enough to be able to translate it into words. doing so slows down your thought process to the point that you never reach a substantial conclusion. the only other option is to go back and try to recreate or remember a thought process from before. this always results in contradictions and incomplete explainations. it is so difficult to explain things to people.

i came to this realization due to the power of mushrooms and a conversation with bryan however long ago. this lead to me realizing that words as a form of communication is truely what holds us back. i got angry, mostly because i was having so much trouble explaining this to him at the time. the only thing that calmed me down was the realization that words are the only thing we had. imagine where would would be without words.....

there are so many things i wish i could put down into words, here or otherwise. many things, i am afraid to even try. i wish i could try to explain my views on evolution, or religion, or what the phenomenon we rever to as love truely is. but, it would be just impossible. instead, i include tidbits of my views on these things to help with explainations of other topics i do have the stomach to approach. i wonder if i wrote in this blog long enough, if i could collect all these tidbits and put them together along with other snips of thought i can retain inside my head and come out with a more or less complete analysis of my overall thought process on any of these topics......

frivved up by Ben at 3:36 PM

technically, i could just leave now. the problem is, main boss/president/provides 100% of funding is coming in some time today, supposedly. what if i leave now, and she shows up right after? i'm sure she is going to want to talk to me about this project. blowdar off the chart. i think i can stick it out for another 45 min or so. after that, i'm so out of here if she hasn't shown up.

all i can think of is damn pizza!!! GAHASHD

frivved up by Ben at 2:46 PM

hoooominy hooominy hoominy.

i just want to go home, lol. i'm hungry again. i just ate. i need to get another albertsons.com order quick like. bryan cleaned out the fridge, and just kind of threw everything away, whether it was still good or not. except the jam. i don't really blame him, i didn't want to go through all the stuff either, and the fridge looks a lot cleaner. still, i have no food now :D and, our damn sink is still broken, so i dont' want to go finish washing the macaroni pot because it will get old nasty cheesy water all over the floor. i think i will anyways, mac and cheese sounds really good tonight. alright, its on. screw the floor, it will just have to get a little wet. unless we get pizza.... hmmm....

so yeah, yesterday was a funny night. we were sitting around watching tv. this guy comes up to our door. i thought he was just soem random friend of matt and b's again. they tend to just show up, and i let them in, because i don't know who they are. so the guy, he goes how much did you really want that salad tonight! and i kind of stand there like, wha? and he's like the salad, and he pulls this roundtable pizza out of this wierd bag i hadn't noticed before, and i kind of stared blankly, turned around and asked "anyone order a pizza?" everyone was like, uhh, no? so, he's like, crap, what address is this? me and matt were standing there at this point, and we are like 2615. and he looks at his thing, and is like, well shit, and walks off. it sucks, because he was one of the coolest pizza guys we have had in a while. the pizza hut guy was such a little wank monkey. he pissed me off, and then wouldn't take my check because of their check policy. they don't accept checks with different addresses than the delivery address. that sucks, they should have told us that. but yeah, he was a little weasely pizza slut. he pissed me off, even before the whole check debacle.

so yeah, anyways, roundtable pizza sounds good. it sucks, but if you have it once every 3 years, it is really good for some reason. i don't really get it. food, god damn....

i got paid today, woo hoo! of course, most of this bad boy is going to rent and bills, but oh well. it will put me like $200 whatever closer to a new computer :P new computer, god damn........

frivved up by Ben at 2:34 PM

i don't know why i was thinking of air and trav, i just was. the thing i associate most with air and trav is the old house, and so i got to thinking about the old house, which got me to thinking about moving out. that was my general thought process, it didn't really have anything to do with air or trav, they were just the beginning of a chain of thoughts that got me thinking about whether or not altruism really existed :)

so yeah, sitting here at work. its really nice right now, because i am the only one here. i don't mind the office when i am the only one around. i don't feel like i am avoiding anyone. i actually get the most work done when i am alone shut in downstairs with no one else, or have the entire office to myself. i think thats the way i have always worked though. of course, i don't really have any work to do today, so here i am :D

i have been thinking a lot about my job lately. my boss is trying to spring this project on me again. i dunno, it could be alright. she is supposed to pass along the email address for some high up muckety muck. at first, i thought it was just some phd botonist guy, but now know he's like important and stuff. this really scares me, because coming from where i am, and especially as the project lead for this particular project, i will be expected to know a lot about stuff. but really, i have no real right to be heading this project. i am in charge, because everyone else refused so it got dumped on me. so yeah, if i ever do meet this guy, it is going to be very awkward, because he'll be like, oh, what does this look like to you? and i'll spit out one of the few wetland plants i know, and he'll get that teacher-talking-to-a-young-student voice and go, nooooooo, but good guess... when really he is thinking "what a moron, how can this guy get a job in the restoration field at all!!!" meanwhile, i will just be trying to get through the session so i can go home and get rid of the lazyness.

this project right now has the potential for 2 things. one, i could try to ignore it, and have my bosses get mad at me for not actually doing it, or two, have me ignore it, and half them forget about it and have the project fizzle out for another 3 months. i'm thinking it will be somewhere in between. i'm guessing my contact with this dude will never go past the email stage, and that i will pull some silly presentation together that is all bullshit like last time, and will end with me ignoring it more, and coming up with excuses for the next 3 months again. we shall see.

whenever i get mad at work, i just think "god damn this is better than school...."

frivved up by Ben at 10:40 AM

oh, and another thing. for some reason my legs are longer than they usually are today. they keep getting in the way. my knees keep whacking things they usually don't, like in my car and my desk in my office and such. it is really wierd. what a crazy day.

frivved up by Ben at 3:21 PM

having trouble keeping my eyes open. good god, i'm just sitting here, and my eyelids are drooooping. it is just like class used to be. it is a wierd feeling to have again, it doesn't happen that often any more.

i was in the shower, and i got to thinking about stuff. i was thinking about trav and air for some reason. this was frightening, because i was in the shower. anyways, somehow thinking about them got me to thinking about moving out, which got me thinking about certain aspects of the way our society works, or at least my opinions on the subject. I ended up concluding that everyone's number one purpose in life should be to look out for themselves. basically, you keep yourself alive and relatively happy first. everything else should be secondary. i think in essence, everyone does do this anyways.

this brought about some thinking about altruism. altruism is non-existant. when the word altruism comes up in a conversation and the person is talking about themselves, you know the person is full of shit. this was my base arguement with myself. i concluded that no one ever does anything with out some sort of motive that will benefit them. no one donates to charity just to help the cause. people may convince themselves that they are doing it to help the cause, but that is bullshit. people donate to charity to make themselves feel better, and to gain social standing. it is purely selfish. if they donate to a charity, they can tell all their friends about the wonderful thing they did. hell, they can tell themselves all about the wonderful person they have become.

this of course is a very bitter way to look at things. so i got to thinking again. in a more primative society this would be completely true. there is no altruism in nature. none. the only goal in nature is to stay alive long enough to pass on your genes. humans have managed to remove themselves from this. i think the thing that makes us the most different is the fact that we understand the concept, and therefore can do things to alter it. it is kind of like evolution. anyone who says that evolution is not a true concept is just ignorant, in my mind. but, because we understand the underlying theory behind evolution, we can do things to alter its course, thus removing ourselves from the natural order of things.

back to the matter at hand though. because we have removed ourselves from nature, we can have deeper understandings of things. this allows us to formulate connections with objects and people. i guess on a basic level, our mind begins to pick out patterns in things, in anything. when our mind finds these patterns, whether they truely exist or not, it trys to find further connections. things like friendship, loyalty, love, etc etc etc are formulated from these patterns. its not even that our mind is really fooling itself into believing in such things. this is the way our mind works, which validates these sorts of feelings to a certain extent. once we can form these connections, all of which the greater theory called "love" encompasses in my opinion, we can also alter our natural order of just protecting ourselves. we consider protecting those that we love just as important as protecting ourselves. this is where altruism starts to play a role.

on a base level, it still isn't truely altruistic. we are protecting the people we love, because without these people, life would just plain suck. we are protecting those people that make us feel good, which means we are protecting our own happyness. true altruism can never exist. of course, nothing can ever really exist in a completely pure state...

anyways, don't quote me on this or anything. this is just the way my thought process was going in the shower a few days ago. i really wanted to write it all down as i was thinking about it, but i was in the shower. then after i got out, i forgot. i'm sure there were a bunch of key points i forgot that would make the entire thing make more sense, but it has been a few days.

frivved up by Ben at 2:57 PM

the cosmos are out of alignment again or something. everything seems a little bit off today. a lot of things seem a lot off. i think the fact that hulk hogan is back in the WWF has something to do with it....

so yeah, first off for trav... the nWo or whatever they are from way back when with some wrestling something or other are in the WWF now. so, Hulk Hogan, Scott Hall, and Kevin Nash are all back. Mr. Perfect is back too, but that is unrelated. its really wierd, these were all the guys i watched when i was a kid watching wrestling. so, the Razor's Edge is back. that just rocks. rocked the rocks nuts....

oh, and Jing, that is El_Phantasmos sig, if i remember correctly. either him or DividedThighs, i forget. it is from this ninja website, also known as the greatest website ever. i have a link to it somewhere on my blog, i'm not going to dig it all up for you.

ok, back to the weirdness of today. nothing is right. i woke up wayyyyyy early today, thinking it was time to go to work. i fell asleep again and had this crazy dream that was completely realistic but i don't remember. then my alarm went off, and my dream continued in 9 minute incriments as i hit my snooze button. so, i ended up getting up when i usually do. only, somehow i ended up in my car like 7 minutes earlier than usual. the wierd thing is, it only takes me 5 minutes usually to get ready. i don't get it. so yeah, i left early, and got to work early. throughout the day, it was sunny, windy, and rainy all at the same time. the wind was blowing pretty hard, and the clouds were going the opposite direction of the wind. it felt really wierd. this truck came to deliver cardboard, but he got the wrong park. so, he just kind of pulled up and started backing over the curb into the entry way of the park, blocking the entire road in the process. we were like, what the hell is going on. so, my coworker went and told him where to go. the morning was just sloooooow as all hell. it was freaking me out, how slow it was. on the drive to get the mail, then come back home. everyone was driving like a moron and a half. people going way under the speed limit, people going way over, it was crazy. i was the little island of sanity, trying to drive like a normal person, but it was impossible. i just gave up, and went where the flow of traffic took me. i have entered some wierd alternate dimension or something.......

frivved up by Ben at 1:24 PM

wrestling mand me so hapspy tonight....

hulk hogasv vs the rock at restmania... AND AND AND

more pimprotantly, we saw THE FUCNKSING RAZIORS EDGE!!!!!!! omg, that roooooooooocked!!!!!!!!

razors fucking edge, ubnelievable...

frivved up by Ben at 11:44 PM

singing bulbasaurs, how could anyone NOT like pokémon....

frivved up by Ben at 4:13 PM

on this week's episode of AS THE BLOG TURNETH...

so yeah, good weekend, way too short, even with the 3 dayness. i have no food, and i am too lazy to go get some. our sink is broken. the pipe that takes all the nasty shat water out of the sink is leaking, so whenever you try to clean dishes or something, it gets all the hell over the place. thus, i can't clean out my pot to make macaroni and cheese, which is about all i have to eat right now. i am screwed. this pot is getting nasty, because it has been sitting around for a few days and i can't clean it. bryan called the real estate agency guys, and they were like oh yeah, we'll send someone out right away, but they didn't. so, i'm out like trout. i'm too lazy to go out and get food. too few places have online ordering. i wish pizza hut had online ordering in seattle. but no, they don't.... poop.

i am glad i don't have to wear make up all the time, and more importantly take it off. one of the girls at the party on friday let me borrow this really strong face soap stuff to get all the lipstick and eye pencil and stuff off my face. it was crazy, it reminded me of a cookies and cream milkshake. it had all this sand/gunk/stuff in it. it got all the makeup off, but my delicate, rose-petal soft skin wasn't used too it. my face has been itching the past few days. ahh well, it got all the make up off :D

soooooo hungryyyyy. someone feed me. i wish i lived at subway. i could get a job there, but never go into work. that way, i could get subway for free, but they wouldn't have to pay me.

i consulted myself, and i have concluded that i am too lazy to continue this blog. so yeah, check you later.

frivved up by Ben at 3:22 PM

oh yeah, i faked an orgasm last night too. it wasn't that bad, because i'm a guy, but i did it. it was pretty funny

frivved up by Ben at 12:29 PM

i'm saiiiiiiling away
set an open course for the viiiiiirgin seaaaaas
because i'vvvve got to be freeeeeee
free to face the life, thats a head of me
onboard i'm the captian so climb aboard!
we'll search for tomorrow on every shorrrrrre
and i'll try oh lord i'll try
to Carrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyy onnnn!!!




DUNNNNNNNNN DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DUN DUN DUN

best song ever? quite possibly yes

frivved up by Ben at 12:25 PM

oh laaaaaaaaast niiiight....... strokes own. the lead singer always looks so fucked up. its great. and they just rock, besides.

anyways, last night... went to my friend harms house for a little anti-valentines day party. it was great, someone had made me up a anti valentines day card, and someone else had made up a cookie in the shape of a heart with my name on it. i didn't know it was going to be such an offical thing :D drank a lot of beer, smoked a few cigarellos, drank a few more beers, puked off the balcony, lol. ok harm, i figured it out. those little swishers are the devil. i mean, i never puke, unless i am at your house. your house is the only place i smoke those damn things. i'm not going to do it anymore. i'm a moron, i don't know why i did it in the first place. it was so embarassing.

speaking of embarassing.... ok, i brought it all on myself, and it was more fun than embarassing, but i kind of got the brunt of this game we played. two of the girls had made up all these cards of embarassing stuff, and then cards of good stuff. then everyone gets a poker hand, or 2 cards if there were too many people. high hand gets a good card, low hand gets a bad card. one of the first good cards drawn, one of the guys had to put make up on the guy to his left. of course, that was me. so i got all this crazy makeup on, and kept it on for about half the game. oh yeah, i forgot to mention everyone had pass cards too, but just one. so, after i finally get my makeup off, someone draws a bad card, and passes it to me. i have to go into the bathroom, get completely buck naked, and go outside for 2 min. if a neighbor comes out in that time, i have to ask him if he's seen my newspaper. so i do it. i go into the bathroom, strip down naked, and walk outside. the person with the video camera follows me outside, and makes me wander around, so she can film me. so now, there is film of me completely naked walking around in the world. it was so silly, that it was fun :) i got her back later. i ended up getting a good card, and i could get anyone to do anything for me, so i made her get naked. she didn't get completely naked, but still it brought a little balance to the night :) i don't think she was pleased that she had to do it though.

at the end of the night, of course, there was the whole ordeal, with the figuring out who is sleeping where, who is getting a ride where from who, etc etc. i did the usual sit back and watch thing. i couldn't help but chuckle at a few things my friend harm said to this one girl :D i really thought he was going to get this one girl to stay, but she didn't. i refrained from driving home. i could have left, and i would have made it home alright, but i didn't feel like driving all the way home slightly drunk.

one thing i don't remember, is harms friends being as attractive as they were. i mean don't get me wrong, last time they were all easy on the eyes, but this time everyone over was looking really, really good. it was just interesting to me, how my mental picture of people can change in 3 or 4 months or whatever it was. granted, i had only met these people once before, but still.

i'm gonna go download the strokes i think. i was stupid, and left all my cds at my friends house. i'll have to get those back one of these days, lol :D

frivved up by Ben at 12:18 PM

fucked, jeebus

ok, today, this morning, whatever it was. in a word........ CHAOS. jesus h nuts. so we show up. i have no idea what to expect. we are kind of bumming around, and up pulls one bus. i'm like oh shit, a full busload? of course, then up pulls the second bus. shoot me in the head. there were 4 teachers. they were supposed to help us man the stations. there was this starbucks party thing set up down below the area we were working on, some displays and stuff with some party or something, i'm not really sure. the teachers, of course, decide this would be the better spot for them to hang out. so me and my coworker have to take care of 120 kids, basically by ourselves. there were these parent volunteers, but they didn't really do much in the way of croud control. considering how bad things could have been, things when pretty well. i mean jesus. thats like 60 kids apiece. so yeah, that was crazy. craaaazy. CRAAAZY. i'm not suited for this kind of thing. i have realized that the education team here really did nothing. i mean, absolutely nothing. apparently when shit like this went down, they would just make the teachers do everything. the teachers were thrilled that we were helping with it at all.

my head feels like mush, tv is on, too lazy to think of things to type

frivved up by Ben at 3:48 PM

after the whole bad judging thing in pairs figure skating, i was going to boycott the rest. i was already mad i had to boycott the womens figure skating, because i am a ball of raging hormones, and they all have those incredible asses. if they were sticking out at all, or anything but perfectly sculpted and aerodynamic, they would screw up their jumps and stuff. so, now i learn the russian competitor is named Irina Slutskaya. how can i not watch, if there is a Slut in the competition......

frivved up by Ben at 2:53 PM

valentines day already? lol, seems funny :) valentines day is perhaps one of the silliest days of the year. i love the simpsons where they make fun of it by creating Love Day. i guess i am not really an anti-valentines person, per se. more of an anti-effort person, and doing stuff for valentines day requires effort and such.

life would be great, if i could just sit around and do nothing for a few months again. get myself out of the swing of things. give myself a reason to want to do something. if i could actually pull it off, i so would. the real world is expensive though. damn that realness.

work... work... blah. don't care. i should just go work at hollywood video or something. minium is what, $6.50 an hour or something? i wonder if that would be enough to pay rent and everything else. probably not, unless they made me a manager or something. they probably would, lol.

i can probably stick it out for a few more months, at least. fuck this new project though. it is a project i completely don't care about, and have no interest in actually carrying out. still, i am going to be forced to do it. i am going to have to meet this guy with a phd in botany in issaquah to set up a partnership to get things rolling. he does a lot of work for the epa, apparently. this guy is a real expert, and he will care if i don't care. i am so far beyond not caring about this project. i actually hate this project. i think it is stupid, and in no way worthwhile. i think it is going to be a waste of his, and what is infinitely more important, my time. what can i do. i work for a crazy woman. impossible is not a word she understands. she has always been wealthy, had things handed to her. now, she is infinitely wealthy. she has never had to really work, so as far as i can tell, she has no clue about how much workload people can handle, and what is actually feasible. she just has these grand ideas, which she vaguely explains to us, and then expects us to carry out. when someone disagrees with her, she either ignores said person, or gets very defensive and threatens to have them quit there job. i don't think she would actually fire anyone. we'll see if i can make that happen. anyways, i have to make up a list of prioritized plant species that are important to this project. kind of hard, when you think the project is a load of crap. none of them are important.

hmmm... i guess overall, i just don't like expectations. like, at work here, everyone has certain expectations of me. i am not a fan of being accountable for stuff. i would rather be accountable for myself. thats why i would make a good supervisor type figure. i could get other people to do stuff for me. that way there is no way i could really screw up directly. if there are no expectations, there is no failure. if there is no failure, there is no need to put in an effort striving for success. if there is effort, there is just sweet sweet lazyness. it all comes back to lazyness. i wish i could find a way to blackmail my job into sending me paychecks without actually having to go to work. project mayhem? bring it on.

frivved up by Ben at 2:24 PM

there is absolutely no palateable liquid on earth that will cut through the taste of spicy orange chicken from the black pearl. this is a good and bad situation. on one hand, spicy orange chicken kicks all sorts of assorted ass. on the other hand, you will taste it for days, and spicy orange chicken doesn't exactly mix with other tastes, like toothpaste. you would need motor oil to wash that taste out of your mouth. maybe i should just stop brushing my teeth, that would solve a lot of problems.

today, today, today. ok, i'm almost done with my week of being in charge at work. today, i started off all alone, and i fielded this little question and answer period. there was something decidedly rediculous about me explaining restoration techniques and my foundations planting theories to a group of 12 people. it felt kind of strange, but i think it was fairly successful. my coworker was a little late, so he kind of stood in the background and watched. whenever i got nervous because there were like 12 inquizitive people eagerly lapping up the information i was trying to make up on the spot, i would glance over at him, and he would give me a funny smile. i'm sure he got quite a kick out of it. this guy is the guy i have been working with since the beginning. at first, ryan and i took him as an authority figure, but after a week or so, we realized that he was just another guy like us, just a little older and wiser. i think ryan would agree with me, that he is the coworker we can most relate too. anyways, i digress again. me and him both know whats up, with the slack and all. he does a lot of the same things, and he is getting fairly jaded and bitter towards the job too. he knows that i don't care if he hates his job, and that he won't be corrupting anything if he lays things down for me as he sees them. so a lot of what we talk about are things we think are stupid about our job. ok, i went off again. back to the story at hand. i'm in front of a bunch of people explaining why we pick the plants we pick, why we put them where we put them, and how that will affect our maintenance strategies and such. he is just kind of sitting back and watching, glad he doesn't have to, smiling because it is me, the local buffoon, explaining it all. these things are always tricky for me. the people i am explaining stuff too usually have an interest in environmental restoration, that is why they are working for this corps of workers. so, i can't just pull things out of my ass and toss them at them, expecting them to swallow it. so i have to pull off of everything i have seen, and have been taught, and try to mesh it all together into some sort of explaination that they will understand, and pertains to the park. like i said, things went pretty well. the nice thing about being in charge of the park, is that when you are describing strategies, and what you plan on doing in the future, you can completely pull them out of the ass, because you are the one who is going to have to come up with them anyways. there was only one point at which i got stumped by a question, and i had my coworker jump in for me. i was very greatful, and no one seemed to look down upon me as an expert or anything. its been great. this entire week, i have been able to handle every question this group of people has been able to toss my way, and in a way that satisfied them. both of these crews are brand new. i think this is even there first week in the field. out of all the crews i have seen from this place, they definitely seem to be the most energetic, and enthusiastic. it is very comforting to be able to praise these crew, instead of complain about them for once :) actually, most of my complaining is stupid crap anyways, but these crews are great. so yeah, things are getting done, which makes me look good because i am in charge, and i don't have to do that much work, with the talks and supervising and such. it is all such a strange thing. ryan would get a kick out of this week. i wish he could have seen me.

speaking of ryan, he went to the gwar concert at the showbox last night. this is really funny, because i'm sure they all hate gwar. i had planned on going, but i flaked out on him again. i forgot when it was, then we just kind of missed each other last night. i flake out on him a lot, but usually i have a reason, good or not, so i think he understands... he's not really the type to get pissed or anything. i also feel kind of wierd when i am hanging out with him and his college friends. i am sure he feels the same way. its fun, but it is still kind of odd, because you jump on in the middle of all these inside jokes that don't quite make much sense, because you haven't been around since their inception. also, his social group makes my global social group look like a knitting circle in some regards. i get to see a glimpse of the crazyness once every 6 months or whatever i see them, and i hear stories about all the rest. i'm not sure if i could physically handle the insanity that is 203. i am kind of glad i didn't go to gwar last night, because i would have gotten all drunk or hyped up or something before i went, and i would have ended up spending a large portion of the time in a pit of elbowing heavy metal death. i would have died, i'm small and frail. it still would have been fun, just to chill with him.

sitting here in the office, and no one is around. both of the people who are my superiors in the grand scheme of things are gone for the day. i'm wondering why the hell i am still here. i still need to fix my rain pants. i have destroyed two pairs so far this winter, even though they sucked. they will be really easy to fix, and i should get at least another year out of them, which is nice. although, if i am still here in a year, i will have serious questions to ask myself. every day i consider just going up stairs and giving 2 weeks notice. if i did, what would i do? i wouldn't have a job, which means i wouldn't have money to pay rent. that means i would have to move home, which would suck. so, i stick around. eventually i'll leave, i guess, when something else falls in my lap, or they fire me. i can deal with a lot of the crap they throw at me. lately though, things are picking up. i'm getting thrown back into a project i have been putting on the back burner since i got it. now, my boss wants me to start it back up again, full swing. sure i joke about not doing anything, but i actually do stuff. to start up this project again, on the scale she wants it would be impossible. so, we'll see what happens. it might drive me to quit here in the next few weeks. lets see how important this project is when she loses another staff member :P



frivved up by Ben at 2:57 PM

alright, so half of you visitors seem to be checking in to see what the hell is up with the japanese olympic snowboarding judge, and why the heck he is giving everyone such low scores. it seems cracked out. he gives some people really low scores, and some people really high scores, and most of the time they are completely opposite of everyone elses scores.

ok, here's the thing, as far as i can tell. he/she was the amplitude judge. this leads me to believe that his scoring is less subjective than the other judges. i bet there is some sort of scale he gives points on, based on how high out of the half pipe the wankers got. so, some dude may have been way out of the pipe, but couldn't do anything once he was out, making his amplitude high, but the rest of his shit low. some of the other guys may have been going for speed, and to get speed, you need to be going more downhill, which means you aren't going to go as high out of the pipe (unless you want to lose speed when you come back down), but you are going farther down, and staying out longer, which means you can do more shit. the overall amplitude is lower though. ok, thats what i think. the world will never know. its kind of like the figureskating debacle. i'm going to boycott it for the rest of the olympics because half of the judges need to be shot. thank you, and good day

frivved up by Ben at 1:24 PM

so yeah, another day, more work. it is still wierd being in charge. hell, when these guys are there, i am the "expert" at this park. people ask me questions and stuff. it kind of sucks, even though i end up knowing most of the questions. i just feel like i am in no way qualified to be doing what i'm doing. i have no place being out there, actually directing people. it is kind of fun though. i'm in charge, so if i don't know the answer to something, i just make one up and it is the answer.

bah!!!! i'm not at work!!! i can't blog now, it is blasphemy. work is blowdar, off the chart. i wish i didn't have to go

frivved up by Ben at 5:25 PM

what a beautiful day it is outside. this has turned into a really great day. when i started drinking last night at like 10, i thought i would be dying this morning. but, i made it to work. it was sunny even. it was not an experience filled with pain and terror. its the first time in a long time i didn't actually mind being at work for 4 hours. granted, i really didn't do anything. i was in charge of people again. that is always wierd, taking more of a supervision role. i always wonder what these people must think of me. its like, i'm sitting there, telling them what to do, trying not to sound like an ass so they will actually do it. i mean, i am their boss for those 4 hours they are there. but then, i drive off blasting jimmies chicken shack or something after the 4 hours, and they realize i'm just another 20 year old guy. its wierd for me at least. i bet they just don't care. its just a wierd twist in the whole battle against authority thing, actually having the authority. but yeah, this morning was pretty cool. showed up, it was all sunny, they showed up, etc etc. i was really worried, because they were brand new crews. surprisingly enough, it turns out that they are competant, and actually did the work. thats saying a lot. all the people i talked to were very friendly, and it was great. it has restored my faith in this whole idea of contract labor. of course, now i just sitting here in the office, hoping that no one else will walk in, so i don't have to actually start doing stuff. that could make my good day at work take a huge turn south, actually having to do work.

so yeah, is there some new religious revolution sweeping the country i should know about? i saw a jesus fish with a shark fin on the back of some car today. is it time to start being afraid? i mean, if jesus is taking a meaner take no prisoners attitude, i need to make preperations for my survival and stuff. i'm glad that some christians are thinking of themselves as predators now, waiting to swoop down on the rest of us unsuspecting sheep. christianity, top of the food chain!!!! i'm sorry, but if push came to shove, the nation of islam would smack down christianity. or, maybe this person just likes sharks, and god, so they put the two together. its like putting pizza and beer together, because you like them both. that would make sense....

what else to tell..... i really should stop blogging about people i know, like, oh say, matt and shannon. lol, sometimes i forget that people read this when i am kind of running around randomly spurting out ideas. something that may be funny to me could be inappropriate to post. although, if i stop to take everyone's feelings into consideration before i post, i'll never get anything down. i don't have any grand illusions anymore about how this blog is all for me, and it doesn't matter who reads it or all that. i like the fact that people come and read this stuff. sometimes i get all whimisical, and pause for a second to reflect on how wonderful it is that people are truely making an attempt to get to know me, to understand the inner WAnk. i was driving home, and i was like, there is a certain purity to reading blogs. then i slapped myself because i was getting silly. i had it all reasoned out, but then i forgot all my reasons. i hate it when that happens, you come upon this revelation, and then you are too lazy to go through of the trouble of remembering it.

i think i break most of the rules on that one dudes page about things that are hereby banned from all blogs. screw that guy, anyways!!!

trav said something i agree with on his blog. i forget it, in a little bit if i remember, i'll interject.

the olympics are still kind of strange to me. i saw this commercial, that was like this whole thing, about training, and being the best, and winning, and being an american hero and such, and then it was like but the reality of it all, is this is just a very fit dude who needs a job. i think it was a monster.ca commercial or something. ok, this year the olympic coverage has sucked all around. even the canadian stations are blowing it. they don't actually show the damn events. like, the station was supposed to be showing luge, but instead they sat around in a studio talking about hockey and figureskating for like an hour and a half. they paused briefly to show the canadian guys luge, and they got like 48th and tied for 51st or something like that. but then the ignored the rest of the competitors and went back to talking about stupid stuff!!! DAMMIT, luge is cool!!! that is actually stuff i would want to watch, if you ever just played the damn thing. i expect that stuff from nbc, but now my trusty canadian olympic coverage has turned against me as well.

OHHH staind does kind of suck these days. i mean, i like some of the songs off their new album, but the other one kicked so much ass that i'm just like, what the hell!!! how do you go from mudshovel to other stuff that isn't mudshovel, when mudshovel was so great. now they just kind of suck. it sucks..... i mean, come on, mudshovel....

olympics good, canada bad sun good staind bad, wank out

frivved up by Ben at 3:38 PM

woah!!! some 23 year old from redmond is downhill skiing right now in the olympics!! i don't know his name yet, they haven't said it since i've been paying attention.

ok scott mccarthy i think. damn, i don't know him...

frivved up by Ben at 8:42 PM

drunk blog translation :D

"it was good to go back to the other house tonight. good to see people i haven't seen in a while.

ok this blog is not working, too much wine, so be back tomorrow"

krunk, blunk, badunk..

its time for some good old fashioned olympics watching. the olympic rock. there are all these people who have basically devoted their life to being the best at something. its not nearly as bad in the winter olympics as the summer olympics, which is good. the summer olympics are very strange. these people, a lot of them don't go to school, don't have a job, don't have friends. they just train. thats all they do. they train so they can shave that extra tenth of a second off their freestyle swimming time. what do they do after they can't go to the olympics any more? these people are basically skill-less, besides swimming or running or something. the people who won gold medals can get some advertising maybe, but what about all the other dudes who don't win? they are just screwed. at least they can always go to the home depot and get a job, i suppose.

also something silly about the winter olympics. i'm watching olympic snow boarding halfpipe. hahahahah. thats crazyness. i don't think the announcers are the regular cool x-games guys. it is also amazing how awkward some of the women ride, compared to the men. there really isn't a reason that the men should be so much better than the women. it is really wierd watching snowboarding, with judges from different countries giving like 9s and 5s and stuff for snowboarding. i also want to watch the skeleton luge competition. i think thats another winter x-games crossover. that looks just nuuuuuuts.

it is really annoying having to go places to get stuff. i can't wait for the day where everything is just delivered, and everyone is hooked up like banks are, so you can just go online, go to like mcdonalds website, order something, have the money taken from your account, and then have it delivered to you.

jesus, the japanese judge is just screwing everyone over. all the other judges are pretty much linked up in their scores, but the japanese judge is always off by like 3 or 4 points, out of 10. its pretty funny :) its like eight point eight, nine, nine, FIVE, nine




frivved up by Ben at 12:46 PM

dudnnndunds........

eits was sgood st ogobacsk to the ohters hosuetonight. goods to sel poele i havesn't seen in a wehils.

okse this blogs ise ntowr owroking, too much whien, soi wbebebacks tomorronw

frivved up by Ben at 2:06 AM

its so true though!!!! everyone has that traffic light that just stops them every damn time they go through it. i hate that light....

frivved up by Ben at 5:38 PM

oh god, what is going on. i have 47 hits to my blog today. who are all you people!!!

i mean, i love you all. make me the #1 seattle blog in croatia....

frivved up by Ben at 7:11 PM

the things i have seen today...

i had just turned off banner or whatever it is, on to 85th. this guy comes off the freeway on a motorcycle. i'm going about 50, and he is staying right on my front corner. so, we are going down that hill there towards the intersection with wallingford, still going about 50. this guy takes his hands off the handlebars, and adjusts his motorcycle suit thing. THEN he stands up, with his hands off the handlebars and picks his wedgie out of his ass. he is standing there, on his motorcycle, not holding on. going 50 down a hill. that is baaaaalllllls, jesus. i almost fell off my car just watching him.

i also just saw a terrible terrible infomercial for oxyclean. this guy spills red wine on a shirt. the only problem is, you can see the color fading out of the stain before he used the stuff. then he put the stuff on, and OMG!!!! the stain is gone. i was kind of cracking up.

magical talking boxything got me by the brain banana.

simpsons whut!! i keep seeing simpsons quotes in manuels blogs. that is ownage and a half :D

frivved up by Ben at 7:09 PM

i really need a new computer.

ok, let me give you a little set up on this, in case you don't frequent my friend Harm's blog. Everyone knows i play/used to play this game called Unreal Tournament. i really used to play back in college, when my computer was working. ever since the end of my first year of college, my computer has been in a downhill slide. it really pisses me off, because my computer continues to get worse and worse at running this damn game that i love to play, no matter what i do with it. basically, everything i do to my computer is to make UT run better. well, besides getting a new hd to store mp3s, but that was before i even played UT. anyways, it is really getting to me. I'm in this clan called ]LoL[. thats what that nifty second category up there is. i've known most of these guys for about 2 years, and all of them for at least a year and a half or so. we have a pretty tight knit group of people. i know nerd nerd, etc etc, but hey, it makes me happy. so yeah, anyways. for the past few months, i haven't been able to play UT at all, because the damn game just won't run anymore. when i do play, it chugs along, and i can barely move for a few minutes, then it crashes my computer. the few months before that, i couldn't play ut as well as i wanted too due to hardware problems. i have been planning to buy a completely new computer for about 6 months now, but some sort of thing always comes up right when i have enough money to do it. i'm hoping hoping i can do it soon, because there has been a sort of revival within my clan. everyone gets together on wed. nights and plays together, just like we used to. now that sounds like one of the most fun things in the world.

i'm mad at my job for not paying me more now ;)

anyways, harm, if you read this, hopefully i can get back in the game soon. YEEDAWGIE!!! this morning when i went on the buffoonery forums, and saw you posting there, i almost spit out my water. that kicks ass :D

frivved up by Ben at 2:14 PM

i've come to a realization. regular laws should not apply to me. i'm not really sure why, but i am absolutely convinced they shouldn't. i was so convinced, i just ran a red light on the way home. no one else was going, so i just went. take that, stupid light

speaking of stupid lights.... i have missed like EVERY damn light in seattle today. nothing is green for me. it was so bad, that the stupid nemesis traffic light on 24th and prospect enlisted his stupid little penis friend on 24th and newton to turn red on my twice as well. so in essence, i missed my nemesis light 4 times today. that really sucks. driving took longer than i wanted it too. i listened to an entire cd and had it start over, thats how long it took. of course, that isn't saying much because i wasn't listening to techno today. i burned all those cds yesterday, because people were complaining that all i had was techno. so i burned some. its great, because now i can listen to jimmies whenever i want. jimmies kicks ass. i figure in a few days, i'll go back to techno, but right now its jimmies all the way. then maybe some foo fighters or something. so many choices, what am i to do.

so yeah, i was listening to jimmies today. for some reason i was thinking about matt and shannon. then Do Right came on... i'm sorry matt and shannon, but i started cracking up. it just seemed so relevant at the time.

blizzzooogiiinnn. i'm really mad at the whole concept of work these days. its like this: i'm so lazy, that i don't want to do anything. waking up this morning just kind of pissed me off. sleeping more seemed like the logical thing to do, but no, work had to swoop in and defy all logic, and make me wake up. i guess i am mad at work, because it makes me wake up every morning. i miss the days in college, and right after i got kicked out of UW before i went back to work that i just slept, and got up whenever the hell i wanted. and it felt good. i mean, i was all depressed about college stuff, and it still felt good. imagine how good it would feel now that i'm not depressed. stupid depression, getting in the way of my lazyness. another thing that pisses me off. even on weekends, when i try to sleep in, i still wake up after a few hours at about 8 am all frantic, worried that i am late for work. damn you work.... oh well, i make up for it by slacking as much as possible. sometimes i wish i had another job, like a cool job. but last night, talking to stephanie, i realized that there are no cool jobs. all jobs suck. work sucks! work sucks and blows at the same time. i hate it.... i mean, with a passion. i don't get passionate about much, but i really am pissed at work. not necessarily my job, but the fact that i have to work at all, and that i will have to work for like the next 50 years. that sucks. FREEEEEEESTYLA!!!!!!!!!!

last night was pretty fun. its kind of wierd, because i feel like i was flustered a lot. i guess that should be expected though. i mean, i really don't know what i'm doing, so i just kind of fake it and play along. that leads to a lot of times where i'm not really paying attention or something, and i realize i have no idea what is going on, and just kind of stare blankly for a second. damn you short attention span. its just such a foreign concept to have a girl around paying attention to me. i guess thats what makes me so cute and endearing though. there are a lot of little things i'm just not used too. like, having part of my pillow or something smell like someone else. i'm not complaining or anything, it just give me a start. i mean, my room always smells like me. oh yeah, and i don't think stephanie likes the title of my blog :P i'm sure a lot of people don't like the title of my blog. thats just too bad, because i do. i think it sums things up fairly well, in a twisted way that makes no sense whatsoever. that is why it is perfect, because i usually make no sense whatsoever either.

i don't want to go back to work. jeez, i have stuff to do though. i actually have to go get some plant orders at these two schools i've never been too. i got suckered into another damn work party next friday. i'm teaching elementary school kids again. they are going to come up to me, and say i need a plant for this area, its shady, dry, etc etc etc. i'm supposed to know what plant to give them. great.... there are supposedly going to be like tons of kids too. this is going to go down as one of the biggest failures in education history. my boss has some strange ideas. like having me lead elementary school kids at work partys. but yeah, back to today. i was planning on leaving early. now thats not going to happen. thats kind of annoying. really annoying you might say. i want nothing more now than to go take a hot shower and climb into bed and sleep for a few days. so tempting....

how can i care so little about so many things these days. oh well, the world will keep turning, no matter what i care about.

frivved up by Ben at 12:30 PM

do i even have to blog? can i just glow contentedly or something :P

yadda yadda, eager fans, public to please, etc etc.

i said i would blog, it is the evening, and just like i said, i'm blogging. i don't really want to blog. i'm not sure i really need to blog. oh yeah, and the girl has a name, its Stephanie ;)

i'll be back tomorrow. i always come back.... besides, i have to work tomorrow. i have all day in the office tomorrow. that should make for another nice string of blogs. that is, of course, if all my coworkers manage to stay upstairs in their own offices. somehow i sincerely doubt that will happen.

frivved up by Ben at 10:49 PM

all beer and no sleep make wank go something something
all beer and no sleep make wank go something something
all beer and no sleep make wank go something something

go crazy? don't mind if i do!!!!!

anyways, i'm off to bed :P i was just kidding about the not sleeping thing. i think i have gotten myself more or less back to a normal schedule here. it is raining and winding and hailing and all sorts of crazyness out there. it better stop soon. i have to work outside tomorrow morning :( even worse, we have this volunteer person coming out to chill with us for a bit. that would seriously blow goats if she had to come chill with us when it was all nasty like it was earlier this evening.

check you all later. i'll try to blog in the evening tomorrow, if i get the chance. don't quote me on that

frivved up by Ben at 11:53 PM

good god, the UPS station in redmond is assssssssssss. just finding the freaking place to pick up the package is annoying. it isn't hard to find the damn place, it takes up a few square miles or so, it seems :P but driving around, trying to figure out where to pick up the damn package is really annoying. i didn't know they close by 5. luckily you fedexed it :D

frivved up by Ben at 9:46 PM

sometimes even i underestimate the role that humor plays in my life. i focus just about everything around humor, the way i do things, the way i deal with things, and even with the way i look at things.

i look at everything as if it has some sort of humor around it. i find humor in just about everything. it is what makes life worth living. i have realized that when i stop finding things funny, and i am not just being melodramatic about it, then i need to start worrying and reevaluating things. granted, this doesn't happen very often. i have a very short attention span, so things always seem funny, even if i have driven them into the ground. it doesn't take me long to forget why something was funny, and have it be funny all over again. this is probably pretty annoying to some people, but hey, it works for me.

if i am not funny, i am nothing. actually, i should say if i don't find myself funny, i am nothing. i usually don't really care too much if other people think i am funny. there is always someone who will think i am funny. and even if people don't understand certain things, i know it was funny. sometimes, i just want to explain to people why i blurt out random comments, because if you know the thought process behind it, it is hilarious. of course, if i do this, it isn't funny. so yeah, i just leave it as a random comment, and laugh to myself.

everything is hilarious. that means times are good. it is the cynical side of me coming out. everything isn't good or how it should be or anything like that. everything is just rediculous to the point i have to laugh at it. when things start getting rediculous to the point that they inspire rage, something isn't right. recockulocity, to the MAX!!!!

frivved up by Ben at 2:49 PM

stories from other people are always funny. go read Ryan's latest blog, and read his quote of the moment. then realize that these girls were high school girls his roomate had met over the internet. it makes things even more funny.

then go read Harm's blog about being half naked trying to hide under the bed. hehehe, good times :D

frivved up by Ben at 11:13 AM

blaarhg

laaaaazy. curiousity strikes. what will ultimately become of friday night? it was one of those nights that has the possibility to shape the next few weeks, even months of ones social life. it could be nothing more than a huge ego boost. either way, in the end, it will not be forgotten as just some random night. i mean god, anything that results in a girl calling me at all, let alone to ask me out, let alone TWO girls in three days calling me to ask me out? some how, this is very funny too me. it should be funny to all of you. i mean, come on, its me we are talking about here.

i'm curious as to what will happen on thursday. i'm skipping out on work early to hang out with caller number 2, as she will be known from this point forward in the blog. she has to work at like 11 that night or something, so thats why we are meeting at 1. who knows what will happen? i could be just us uncomfortably sitting around on the couch downstairs for a few hours before she decides she needs to go do some errands before work. fuck, for all i know she could lead me to my bedroom and keep me in there until 10:45 when she frantically rushes out to get to work leaving me laying there in a daze. i seriously don't know what to make of this whole thing. it makes things interesting though. shakes things up, breaks me out of the dull rhythm i had managed to get myself into.

but on the other hand, i am very lazy, and very apprehensive. the circumstances under which we met were too much like what happened between me and Ali. i'm not saying its going to happen again, but i don't want to get burned. for that matter, i don't want any sort of relationship at all right now. figures, now that i have an opportunity knocking.

we'll see. i'm not going to try not to do anything stupid, and hopefully she doesn't get mad at me.

frivved up by Ben at 10:46 AM

so yeah, check out the buffooned forums over there, should be some fun, fun i tellz yah!

frivved up by Ben at 8:57 PM

hahah...hahahhahaha....

tripats sisters blog cracked me up!! oh jesus. everyone with siblings should get thier siblings to blog for them. oh man, that would be hilarious.

in other hilarious news, there is no one else at my office today. they are all gone. gone where? i dunno. they are at a soil conference. why am i here, you ask? in case they show back up, or my boss shows up. am i going to stay long you ask? nope, because i don't feel like it. i'm gonna blog, then i'm gonna jet, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. work sucks, i know.

what else is happening.... err, nothing... basically, i watched wrestling last night, and that was about it. wrestling is so funny.

when inpiration doesn't strike, just post more funny links. someone needs to pick up THIS movie. look at the cast, how could you go wrong? i mean, ice-t!

bah, maybe i will have something to talk about later.

frivved up by Ben at 11:34 AM

oh yeah, more hilarity today. i'm driving up by 23rd and union to get the mail for work (btw, i straight up owned the nemesis traffic light one of the two times i went past) and i see the silliest thing i have ever seen. there is this ford tempo, pretty much exactly like mine, except brown. except, this thing was ROLLIN ON DUBS. i was cracking up, just seeing this shat car like me with these nice chrome rims.

i really enjoyed manuels blog that analyzed humor and cynacism. is that how you spell it even? who cares. anyways, i got a kick out of it.

and, tripat has ursurped my spot as "knower of random song titles" haha :D i'm taking you down, you better watch your back. kung fu what? i know wank fu, even worse... ok, i'm just stupid.

who really needs to be serious and thoughtful all the time? sometimes it is necessary just to jackass around. that is what makes manuels blog so great, is you'll be going through, and it will be all insightful about his day, and all of the sudden he will be like "i'm gonna go out and bang a sheep, and it will be great, because then i'm going to go attack trip for being suck a cockgobbler of a g(A)y." and its just like, where the hell did that come from!!! and its funny.

frivved up by Ben at 2:40 PM

everything is funny, i mean everything.

i've been parusing the seattle times webpage to get my news fix for the day, and there is just some hilarious stuff in there today.

everyones favorite jackass vigilante politician Tim Eyman has been embezzling funds from his initiatives as a salary, and has been lying about it. this year he planned on taking like $160,000. bahahahahahahahaha. why is this so damn funny? because he is never going to pass an initiative again!!! he is a dirty crook!!! i just find this hilarious

in other news, there is a huge scandal going on around the country about catholic priests molesting little boys. i always thought it was more or less an unfounded stereotype that this happened, but the list of priests who fondled alter boys and got caught has now been extended to include a cardinal and 7 bishops. there are also investigations or something going on in Dallas and Stockton, California. there is this lawyer in New Jersey who has handled 300 cases of alter boys. i just stopped reading the article at that point. anyways, this is kind of cracking me up too.

bloop bloop bloop.

i managed to get a few hours of sleep last night. i ended up doubling my weekend total. of course, getting that sleep also made me late for work. not that it really matters, but oh well. another thing i found funny, was confessing the secrets of my weekend to shannon. it wasn't bad funny, but the fact that she didn't frown on me was just humorous :) it just made the whole experience that much greater, the fact that i am actually a part of gossip, instead of just the one who ends up hearing certain juicy tidbits months later.

why is the world so rediculous. why does seattle have the worst drivers in the world. why did i end up personifying just about every stereotype of college excess this weekend, of all weekends. and most importantly, why does it seem so commonplace?

as a whole, this was one of the most entertaining weekends i have ever had. the thing is, it is in no way hands down the best weekend i have ever had. you would think it would hop into that place in wank history, but it didn't.

frivved up by Ben at 11:59 AM

into the dredges of insomnia i go.....

this feeling seems strangely familiar. i feel like i am sitting in my dorm room. i haven't slept all weekend, even though i have gotten drunk every damn day. you would think i would end up passing out or something. but no. sleep does not work. it is not exactly a trend i want to start up again. i wish i could just fall asleep. no, fuck that. i wish i didn't have any responsibilities. i wish i was insanely wealthy and i could sit on my ass all day. i wish i didn't have to work. i am really jealous of people like my boss who have so much money, that they just don't know what to do with it all. i can't imagine how it would feel to know that you could just do absolutely nothing for the rest of your life, and there would be no real consequences.

back to the real world... i have to make my money some how. i have to head out to my bullshit job, make my money so that by the end of the month i can pay some shmuck in an office X dollars a month to live in this run down house. so, i am funding his bullshit job with my bullshit job. every day we pay like $15 for a pizza, funding even more bullshit jobs. it is a never ending cycle. does anyone actually have a job that really, truely means anything any more? its seems like these days, the better you are at completely giving up in life, losing all sense of moral decency and pride, the more money you make, and the less you have to do, and the more recognition you get. i am firmly set on the path to the top, if this is truely the case. the problem is, the true bullshit artists conjure up this strange sense of ambition that i doubt i will ever find. thus, i am destined to live a life of mediocrity, not that this is actually a bad thing. there is a huge middle area where everyone is mediocre anyways. as long as i am going to be mediocre, i might as well be truely mediocre.

what is all REALLY boils down to is that i am lazy, and i just don't want to go to work tomorrow :P

frivved up by Ben at 12:14 AM

song of the day: WAnk 9 - Story of Two Girls

i always have apprehensions talking about other people out of our little blogging group on here. at least other people who have any connections to people in our little blogging group. i mean, if i bring up something about manuel or something, he would understand because he knows i have a blog, he has one of his own, and we have been reading them for like a year or so. but if someone else managed to read it, and they didn't know, they might not understand.

that being said... the girl from friday i really have no interest in called me up and invited me to go to a concert with her and the girl i am interested in. now, i said no for a few reasons. the main reason being, i really didn't want to give her the wrong idea, by saying i wanted to go to the concert with her. if the girl i am interest in called me up, i probably would have said yes. but she didn't, so i said no, even though she was going to be there. another reason, due to various reasons, i have gotten about 6 hours of sleep total this weekend. my sleep on thursday night was very slim, due to blake's 21 run. i have had more alcohol than food and sleep combined in the past 4 some days. i am exhausted, and i really don't think i could handle a concert, especially if i really am not interested in the actual show itself. so, i politely declined, citing our superbowl party as a reason. its a good reason, because we are actually sitting around watching the superbowl. so yeah, fuck it. it was kind of amusing. its really not a big deal, but it is kind of fun to be able to have to think about this kind of stuff. haha, the silly drama that makes life just that more exciting, even if it isn't really dramatic at all.

overall, a good weekend, if i do say so myself. the 15th, my friend in puyallup invited me over again, that should kick some ass. i really enjoyed myself last time, even if i was too drunk to really be sociable. i hope i didn't alienate myself at least ;) of course i didn't, but i'll definitely take it a little easier this time.

last night was kind of interesting. i had a few beers, then bryan said he wanted to do some mushrooms. i am still trying to figure out how strong these ones are. bryan took way too much again, but i think i got it right. of course, they didn't mix well with the beers, and i didn't really want to stay up and go some place because i was exhausted. so i just kind of went to bed. it was actually very entertaining. at one point during the night, i was talking to myself in my head, and i realized how easy it is to make conversation with myself. i was surprised about how good of a conversationalist i made ;) as the night went on, i kind of slipped into half dreams, where i would start thinking about things, and i would create situations and people in my head. it was a lot like day dreaming. at one point, after a few hours of talking with my inner selves, the concept that there were other people in the world got very confusing. it is perhaps one of the funniest things that has ever happened too me. i had all the people i needed at that point in my head, so i got slightly angry at everyone else in the world for thinking they were allowed to not be in my head. i almost got up and went downstairs or onto irc to ask people what exactly made them think it was ok to not be in my head. i was curious as to why they were allowed to do that. it was great. a few minutes later i had a moment of clarity, and i started cracking up. oh yeah, and i kept thinking my blankets were broken, or that i wasn't using them right. whenever i would move my foot or something, there would be that moment or two where the blankets weren't touching my feet, and i thought i had no blankets at all, so was like, oh no, i broke my blankets!!!! it was a little destressing, until they magically fixed themselves. sometimes i wish i could get a larger group together to do mushrooms, besides just me and bryan. i think it would be a lot of fun. especially now that i have figured out how these ones i have now work.

i'm such a pansy, its not even 7 and i am getting tired. when was the last time this happened?

frivved up by Ben at 6:53 PM

the Robert Miles cd i have suddenly seems a lot more incredible.... i don't think i'll ever be able to listen too it in quite the same ways.

anyways, a night of new experiences and new people. a night i definitely did not expect, but was very welcome. i am interested to see what happens in the next few days, and weeks.

the funny thing is, on friday at work, i had this whole huuuuuuuge blog planned out about how i am not mad that i don't have a girlfriend because there has never been a time where i was actually looking for one. it was going to go into how it would be nice sometimes, to actually have a girlfriend because of little things like waking up next to a warm body. i was going to go through about how as nice as those things would be, they didn't really matter. i'm not saying my views or thought processes on the subject have really changed, they have just kind of shifted slightly.

last time i did a blog like that.... last time was like April 19th 2001 or something like that. of course, that was the night before the infamous 4/20, with frisbee golf and randomness in red square. last time i did a blog like that, i ended up with a girlfriend in less than two days. this time, i didn't even blog, and less than a day from the time i was actually going to post it up... I'm not going to go into details here. i'm still having trouble going into details inside my head.

it all seems fairly surreal. its like, i'm sitting here, and i feel like i am making these stories up in my head because i was really drunk last night and i need something to fill in the gaps of my memory. funny thing is, for as much as a i drank there isn't any point of last night i don't remember. there are no gaps to fill in. everything in my head actually happened. none of it was a dream. i guess that was what makes it all so surreal. the alcohol gave the entire night a somewhat dreamlike feeling. touch was a fairly important thing. like, you know where you have those dreams that seem so entirely real. everything is exactly how it would be in real life, but when you think back about it your sense of touch was the only thing that was a little off. during the dream it seems perfectly natural, because you are in such a deep subconcious state. but when you wake up and think about how real the dream was, the major differences is that anything that touched you wasn't quite how it should be. i have had a few dreams where this line was very very blurred. touch seemed real, so the dream actually seemed real. it was real to the point that i woke up, and checked to see if my clothes were still where i had put them the night before. so yeah, anyways, i was constantly checking to see if it was a dream or not.

i really don't feel like anything has changed. well, nothing really has yet. i am curious and a little frightened about what might happen here... i wanted something to shake things up, and this could be it. of course, now that something has happened, i'm a little wary towards change. there is, and always will be a slight apprehension towards change.

everything just seems so rediculous to me this morning. i guess that is my brain not wanting to believe what happened, and so it is giving everything around me a very humorous aspect.

peace out, check you all later

frivved up by Ben at 8:49 PM

bloggin for jesus!!!

anyways, on my way home, i realized i needed to blog. this blog has worked its way into my blood. cutting myself off would be like cutting off my foot or something.

so yeah. big project or something going down at work. someone is always in my office. thus, i can't blog. and i can't leave early. and it sucks. anyways, whine whine.

yesterday. yesterday on the way out of work, walking too my car, i think i saw a stripper at the intersection. she was in her car, and she looked at me, and it was glorious. it was something straight out of a beer commercial. this hot girl with makeup and hair done up and horny from dancing naked all day looks at me with her mouth slightly parted in a seductive manner. i kind of did a double take, and then the light turned green and the person behind her honked and jerked the scene back into reality. so yeah, that was pretty cool. oh yeah, and on the way back, i noticed the Love Zone mannequin again. and we all know what that thing does to me. one of these days i'm going to go in and offer to buy it. i'll set it up in the living room, so every time i get home it is there to greet me. oh man that would be great.

paid me some rent today. get paid on monday. ho baby. i think i might even have some money left over after my credit card bill :p nah really, i will have money. i'm kind of saving up for a new computer. i have been doing that since last april though, lol. i'm hoping in june when the other house moves out and gives me my last months rent and deposit back that i will have enough and be able to buy my computer then. that would be a great thing :) of course, if they don't move out i am kind of screwed, because then i won't get my last months rent or deposit back. at least i assume not, i mean $1000 bucks is a lot to swallow all at once, and it isn't like i really NEED it right now. hmmm... maybe my tax return will be big enough that i will have enough money by then anyways, even if they don't move out.

http://www.whitehouse.org/initiatives/patriot/index.asp - everyone go register to be a patriot. this site is hilarious. it has been cracking me up for the past half hour
http://www.bol.ucla.edu/~rahjr79/ninja.htm - this is a great site about ninjas.... i never knew ninjas were so sweet. you guys should go read all of it, it is great :D i liked the movie scripts the best

bloooooooooop, deezy, wheezy, boombasty chicken mcnasty........


frivved up by Ben at 3:48 PM