lol, i checked my work voicemail for the first time today.

apparently someone called for me at work today when i was off getting lunch. so, they got transfered to my voicemail. i was all excited about getting a message. but i log on, and no message :(

i suck, i'm not good enough for voicemails, apparently ;)

gah, it is friday. i may not have been at work for 2 days, but it still is managing to feel like friday. i don't understand.....

frivved up by Ben at 3:26 PM

oh yeah, and i've been at work since about 7:30 or so, i thought that was impressive... of course, it wasn't my choice, but impressive nonetheless :)

frivved up by Ben at 8:58 AM

i haven't been at work much this week, thus the lack of posting.

hopefully this fixes my car. i think it is going to be expensive though :/ we'll see by the end of the day, hopefully. i might even have it back before the weekend, who knows. already, i have spent more than i wanted to on it, lol, just replacing the battery. i would much rather pay nothing, and just have it work ;)

it did make for a rather funny scene. i enlisted tripats help to try and get it started. so, he pushed in the back, and i pushed with the door open, and i would jump in and try to pop the clutch. so, we do this all the way down the street, with him pausing, and it not working, so he has to race down to help again. at one point this other car came, and we were just like bwaaaahhhh!!!!!! and had to push the car to the side of the road. the old dude was laughing at us. it had to be pretty funny. unfortunately, it didn't work, and all we succeeded in doing was getting my car to the bottom of the hill one street over. but still, the hilarity.

of course, this makes for a rather slim paycheck, what with taking time off for vegas, and now missing 2 days because my car died at various places. i don't think i get pto, but i'm going to put it down and say, if i have any, use it all up to pay me!!!! maybe they will feel sorry for me and be like, ok, i guess we will give you pto. thats the hope anyways. otherwise, this car fixin isn't getting paid off for a while, and all hopes of a new computer anytime soon are dashed. right now they are hanging by a thread, and just about to drop anyways. we will see how much the car fixing costs :/

crap nevermind, the thread just dropped. insurance payment coming up... (sigh)

in any event, it has been a slightly annoying week, but not as bad as i thought it was going to be. i missed some work, which can never REALLY be thought of as a bad thing. i mean, we all know how much i absolutely love work....

whats on tap for this weekend you say? i really don't know. i imagine i'll get drunk tonight and go see a movie with matt and b and such. there are so many damn movies out, or coming out that i want to see. it is getting kind of annoying, because i don't have the time or movie to see basically any of them. also, i don't really rent videos or dvds anymore, so i still haven't seen the whole batch of movies that have come out in the past year that i missed and told myself i was going to see when they came to dvd. so much entertainment, so little time.

as for the rest of the weekend? who knows. they are all way too short anyways. i'm just going to end up at work on monday. i used to make a big deal of weekends. now its just, blah. even when i have 3 day weekends, or take 2 days off in the middle of the week, its just like, meh. the weekend flys by, and monday and tuesday just kill me. by the end of monday, i have completely forgotten about the fact that i just had a weekend, and it already feels like the next one should be on us. this makes tuesday the worst day of the week. by wednesday, you have given in to the fact that weekend will never come. thursday is the day before friday, and friday, well, is friday. when you think about it, its only 5 days. but god damn, these 5 days take forever...

i always bitch to myself about how work is a waste of a perfectly good life. i mean, i'm stiving towards nothing, just going for the sake of going, to get my paycheck, just to live for the sake of living. but really, what else would i be doing? sure it would be great to win the lottery and sit on my ass all day, but that isn't going to happen.

ok, i'm losing my train of thought.... GOOD GOD. my coworkers are the most cold-blooded individuals on the face of the earth. one of them has the heater cranked to like 85, i swear. it is soooo damn hot in here. i have this wave of heat just blowing up from the vent directly into my face, it seems. there is no getting around it. its an old house, so i can't close the vent. bwaaaahhhhh....

frivved up by Ben at 8:57 AM

bling bling

here i am at work again, wooo hoooo.

so yeah, i was at work until about 8 yesterday, bwahaha. it was pretty funny actually. i thought it was going to suck, but i just laugh about it. my car is in line at midas, so hopefully they get that taken care of. if not, i'll be here again, woo hooo!!! you can see the excitement in my face, can't you? oh yes, you can....

anyways, not much to talk about yet. its 9 in the morning, my brain doesn't turn on until about noon, no matter when i wake up. so yeah, peace, werd, whut, etc until later.

frivved up by Ben at 8:44 AM

here i am, still at work. who woulda thunk it. i mean, sweet jeebus, its like 6:30. lallalallala....

frivved up by Ben at 6:20 PM

whats the saying? life sucks and then your car dies? meh, it should be a saying

so yeah, go out to my car this morning to go to work. took me forever to get out of bed anyways so i am in a bad mood. open the door, put the key in, nothing. open the door and close it again. seat belt verrrry slowllly moves about halfway back then stops... no respone from anything. so yeah, dead battery i think... anyways, my dad is in the area, so he hops over to try and jump it. it won't jump. it just kind of blahs and doesn't turn over or anything. so, we do the thing where you pop the clutch. it works. i drive around for a while, i can stop and it doesn't die and such. all is well, so i think. i park on a hill when i finally get to work, in case it happens again. anyways, time for lunch. i go to my car. same damn thing. so i roll down the hill, pop the clutch all is well. after about a block, it dies. i slowly inch as close to the curb as possible while rolling to a halt. still, terrible parking job. i'm going to get keyed or something. so now i am stuck at work. i'm fucked this sucks.

i take a lot of things for granted, like the fact that i have a job, and the fact that i have a car to take me to this job. now my car is dead and it sucks. i have to go through the hassle of getting it fixed, and that sucks too. the really annoying part is it is probably going to take money to fix, and i don't really have money to spend fixing my car right now. i hope its just a battery. anyone know how to replace a car battery? i know i'd fuck it up and electrocute myself and such. anyways, i hope thats the problem. now i need to get a ride home from work so i am not trapped here tonight. i left a message at home, so hopefully i can con bryan into heading out here.

oh yeah, i think i managed to leave my jacket over at air and po and trav and dan and mikes on saturday. that was really wierd. we get invited over there by someone, i don't know who. i get over there, and its like, sweet, people. but there was no one i who lived in the house. so we played a game of pool, then we realized no one was there, and so we left. i think everyone went to bars after that. it was a wierd night.

frivved up by Ben at 3:08 PM

no sleep for the wanked.......

so yeah, no sleeping. no sleeping would be a good thing, if there weren't responsibilities. as far as i can tell, responsibilities are starting to blow. the vegas trip was actually kind of a disappointment. i mean, it was fun and all, but i don't think it was worth all the money we spent. it would have been really fun if more people could have come. but, they didn't. basically what it did is get me used to not working. i mean, i was bored when i was there, just like i am bored around here. only there, i didn't have to go to work. so now going to work is going to be foreign and painful. this sucks.

so yeah, vegas, what to say about vegas. do i feel bad that i went? no, not really. would i could go back in time and rethink my decision, i definitely would have said no though. i was unsure about whether i wanted to go before i went. now i realize why. things went down pretty much exactly how i expected them too, which is not necessarily a good thing, given this uneasyness. things looked up, for about 12 hours, when i was actually winning money. after that, things fell right into place as i expected them too. i lost all the money back, and then some. i went to a club, and couldn't really enjoy myself and get drunk because bryan wasn't having a good time at all, which was kind of understandable. so we went from this place with overpriced drinks, and ended up spending a shitload at a stripclub. the sad part is, the stripclub was the highlight of the trip, and it wasn't even that good of a stripclub.

ok, its not like i didn't have a good time. i did. but i don't think i got my moneys worth. this was vegas. land of freedom and sin. it lived up to none of its stereotypes. i didn't feel carefree and worryless, like you always hear. i was constantly aware of how much money i was spending, and how much money i had spent already. i wasn't drunk all the time. hell, i probably would have drank more if i was at home. there were plenty of dull moments. it seemed like we were constantly waiting for something to do, anything to happen. rarely did anything happen.

physically, i was impressed with the place. i saw a place with so much potential. i would really like to go back again, in different company. i'm not saying i don't want to go with bryan, i am saying i want to go with more people than just bryan. it would be cool to get a group of people together, get ripped and bomb around. with only two people, you kind of have to be doing something to be entertained. with a group of people, you can entertain yourself. for a group of people, especially a group of people like the ones i would most likely end up in vegas with, this city would be a veritable playground. everything is on such a huge scale. it was glorious. it was a tribute to all the gluttony, greed, and lust we all hold in such high regard. i saw a town i will really enjoy at some point in the future :)

so yeah, the vegas trip was nothing to really be jealous about. i was really happy about the fact that i wasn't working. i mean, if anything it was a great trip because i didn't have to go to work.

frivved up by Ben at 1:19 AM

it has been a while. i still need to do a full update of my few mediocre days in vegas. i have a full week in the office next week, so expect blogs and what not. just haven't really had the motivation this weekend :)

frivved up by Ben at 8:55 PM

thusly begins the longest day of my life.

i am here at work, before 7 am, because i forgot to fill out my fucking timesheet, and i have to be at a jobsite early this morning. CALKJSDJFASDJSHITTTTTT

see you all later...

frivved up by Ben at 6:51 AM

bling bling mofos...

yesterday was funny..

we tried to go to a movie, but it was sold out by the time we got there. i had already been drinking, so i was like fuck it, bars. after 3 tries, we finally ended up at some brewhouse thing on the ave. i bought a pitcher, and all was good. so yeah, we are sitting there. we see this guy walk past with a pizza. like, this big greasy pepperoni pizza. so we go up and try to get one. but they say we aren't serving pizza anymore. its like, FUCK. we just saw pizza. but still no dice. FUCK. it looked so good. i was so pissed, i mean jesus h nuts..........

ok, i'm pissed all over again. DAMMIT..........


frivved up by Ben at 12:28 AM

oh yeah, and why the hell has my website been down so much lately!!!! GAH. its really pissing me off

frivved up by Ben at 11:08 AM

work work work...

a day of ambulances and cement mixers. they are all over the road. this one ambulance went the wrong way down montlake, the entire way, it was pretty funny, i guess.

also, this cop pulled up to an intersection, and the light turned red on him, so i started going, but he pulled into the intersection and turned his sirens on for a second so he could go through in front of me. he kind of paused in the middle, as if to prove a point. the way he did it made him seem like such an asshole, because he didn't have his sirens on. he just flipped them on, pulled into the middle of the intersection, and stopped. i was just like, fuck you guy. then he kept going, and i kept going. i sincerely doubt he was going anywhere, he just wanted to be a jackass. yeah, thats what happened....

so yeah, ryan tore his acl?!? FUCK that blows and sucks hardcore at the same time. i'm going to have to talk to his shnizzle about this today. so yeah, hopefully he is still down to go barhopping sometime :/

here at work, here at work... i'm getting no lunch break, because i have to garage maintenance today. cleaning tools and such. i am doing it with my coworker, and she doesn't really eat, or do anything when she is at work. she's kind of funny like that. so yeah, when we are done with that, i plan on going on a late lunch break and not returning. booyah.....

what else what else. oh yeah, talking to my dad online is COMPLETELY different from talking to him in person. i don't know why. maybe we just need to do it more. i think we could form this really buddy buddy relationship if we can get past that whole father/son adult/child thing. he downloaded msn messenger recently, and he is on pretty much constantly it seems. it is really damn funny to me :) talking to him is kind of surreal, because he says lol and brb and uses smilies and stuff. i keep having to remind myself that it is my dad i am talking to, so i don't blurt out something i don't want him to hear. but yeah, i don't envy him. he has to drive my sister and their drill team to some competition in yakima for the weekend. he and my mom are like the only adults going. he is not happy. although, he does get to spend most of the weekend hanging around cheerleaders. he invited me to go, but i would have had to leave like immediatly, and it was like 1 in the afternoon. now that i think about it, i should have gone. i mean, hanging around cheerleaders the entire weekend could have been kind of fun.

but anyways, it would have sucked, i'm sure of it. i have met my sisters drill team, and for the most part they bug me, mostly because they are my sisters friends i guess. i don't think i could handle the constant tittering and giggling of a van full of them, let alone a fucking stadium full....

so yeah, it will probably be a fairly boring weekend. for the first time in a while, i have absolutely nothing planned this weekend. its kind of nice. i'm going to the liquor store today, yeehaw. pick up some more rum because i am running low...

frivved up by Ben at 11:07 AM

now is when i should be going back to work.

but i am not.....

fucked

frivved up by Ben at 1:51 PM

so yeah, here i am, at the office lol.

i was supposed to be out in the field with a crew. so i show up, wait around for 20 minutes... no one shows up, not even my coworker who is supposed to be in charge. i drive around to make sure we weren't meeting somewhere else. no one around, so i sit around some more, with this fear that this crew is going to show up, and its going to be just me and i'm going to be like, uhhhh, i know as much as you do, so go kill those blackberries. so i waited around until it was obvious that no crew was going to show up. my coworkers care was here, so i was like, whew at least i had the right place and he isn't around waiting for me or something. it was kind of nice, because i got to sit around and listen to cds for an hour or so, but still, that is an hour i could have been sleeping, had i known... oh well, it was very proactive of me.

this morning has been really funny. i kept dreaming that i was pushing my snooze button. so by when the alarm went off for the second time, i could have sworn i had hit it like 5 times already. anyways, i look up, i have only hit it like once, so i start laughing and push it again. it was a very wierd experience.

hoopity shla.... i was looking for cracks for the sims last night for jing. now i have all those damn commercials from the tv in the sims running through my head again. damn that game...... how much of my life did it suck away? we will never know. i look back on the time when i was playing the sims. i don't see memories, i see a mental void filled with fleeting images of the mcnasty sisters/lesbians. i remember how sad i was the day the fist of them moved out to get married to bob newbie (who already had a wife, by the way, i don't know how that worked). i remember how proud i was by the time they were both directors of the top secret medical research hospital, or whatever the final job in the doctor tract ended up being. i remember how swanky their house was, all the most expensive cabinets and couches and stuff. oh, the life of a sim.....

i also remember this house i set up with some of my friends online. i just put the people in and let them go, not doing anything. my friend smalls would go take a cake out of the fridge, eat half of one piece then put the rest on the floor. he would then go get another cake, eat it, and put the rest on the floor. my friend boom would always try to cook, and set the stove on fire. he would then freak out and wave his arms around. eventually he passed out because he never slept, and i think smalls peed on his head. i made my friend troll get a job, and she would always yell at us for being too loud. i don't remember what my guy did. it was probably funny too... what a great game. i need to play it and the expansion packs sometime. i really want to see hot date. that looks sweet.

so yeah, i have another full day in the office, i guess, but today i have absolutely nothing to do. i'll be back when inspiration strikes...

oh, inspiration struck. i really don't care about spelling anymore. spell check has spoiled me. its really funny, because i always used to be like the best speller in my class, all the way through 6th grade. i got 100% on all of them, and i'd get all the extra credit. i won the spelling bee in class a few times, but never actually went to the school wide thing because i would choke under pressure... anyways, spelling sucks. sure poor spelling makes you look like and uneducated freak, but i have better things to spend my time worrying about. spell check is a wonderful thing

frivved up by Ben at 9:23 AM

ok, so my webhosting went down. that is booty!!!

frivved up by Ben at 9:39 PM

lol, about 15 minutes ago everyone showed up at the office almost simultainiously. it was pretty funny, because i was just about to walk out the door and i heard banging on the wall, and i knew the van was back.. that would have been funny if i walked out, right as everyone was just walking in. anyways, they are all upstairs right now, so i am thinking of making operation sneak out of work successful right now.!! whoopity whoop with the shim sham. shim sham is such a great term. i would like to thank smalls for opening my eyes to it.

ok someone came downstairs. this is wank... this is wank stalling. so how are you folks doing?

dammit, and it is the coworker who kind of cares about what i do. ahhhhhhh well..... at least i have my trusty blog to keep me company while my entire body yearning to leap through this window screaming FREEEDOMMMMM.

we are past tuesday. tuesday is the worst day of the week. the days just keep getting better from here on out.

i'm going to go fill my cup of water back up and drink it. that takes some time. check you all later. poop on me

frivved up by Ben at 3:29 PM

oh happy day!!!

blogger is working from work again. thusly i am here.

i am a big fan of cheesy dating shows, like blind date, the 5th wheel, and dismissed on mtv. they are great. there are usually these gorgeous women, and these cheesy guys doing everything they can to get into the girls pants. the girls are there looking for a good guy to hang out with and have a relationship with, while the guys are always after sex. when you really think about it, this is a fairly accurate mirror of the the whole dating shim sham. not that i am really in a position to talk, but if i were to go out with a girl, that is what i would be after. this would be my reason to go out on a date in the first place, to try and get some sex. i mean, from a guys perspective, isn't that what dating is about? trying to get some action?

just about everything in the male mind is driven by sex in one way or another. even if sex never happens, everything we do is based on the grand quest to get some girl in bed. the thing is, the end result is fairly anticlimatic, when you take into consideration the effort that was put in. in a social situation, it is rare for a guy to talk to a girl without any sexual intent. even if nothing happens, that is the whole reason to talk, try to hook up. at least that starts the conversation. even conversations with people they don't want to talk to, they do so they don't look bad blowing off some girl who might happen to be good friends with other girls at the party. i think everyone gets the idea, even if i had trouble articulating my exact thoughts

moral of the story, guys minds = sex. period.

if you aren't me, please ignore this sextion of the blog-
reminder to self, get ahold of ryan about barhopping.

ok, i know you all read that. i need to get ahold of ryan to see what is happening. march 22nd hopefully i can get together with him. it sounds like he hasn't reallly been out barhopping yet. i don't feel quite so bad about not making it up to bellingham this past sunday since they didn't go out, but i still feel bad. i need to make it up to him, especially if he hasn't been out to bars yet. maybe i can get a little posse of people like blake and jay and matt and bryan and such to go up with me, give him a seattle style 21 run. i know it would be a foreign idea to him with the not smoking out and getting trashed and all, but it needs to be done ;) it is the starting of their spring break, so my only hope is that a few drunk western sluts stay behind for that friday at least, before going off and turn into spring break sluts. i think ryan and i could have a lot of fun turning jay loose on people. i don't think he has ever seen jay hitting on girls. i remeber one party i went to with jay, where he was hellbent on getting digits. it was one of the funniest damn things i have ever seen. the great thing was, he was actually successful!! i also don't know if ryan drinks rum and coke yet. for a long time he didn't, because coke was such a sacred thing to him. OH GOD, TAINTED COKE he would tell me.... i forget if i gave him rum and coke at whistler or not. if i didn't, i'm going to force him to drink some, because rum and coke is perhaps the greatest thing ever. i also need to get him to have a liquid cocaine shot :) i had one on my night out with harm and bryan, and it was pretty good. it made my eyes water, but that was to be expected, since they do that all the time anyways. the trick will be finding a bar that actually knows how to make it. but yeah, he needs one of those....

fancy fancy wankin pants.... sometimes i wonder if i would actually have nice clothes if i didn't have a job that required me to be covered in mud constantly. i mean, i don't shower every day, because i get muddy every day and it doesn't really matter if i smell bad. so, most of the time, i just keep on my dirty clothes when i get home. the only time i actually dress in nondirty clothes is on weekends, and the usually consists of my pair of jeans i don't ever wear to work so it doesn't get trashed and this grey gap shirt i got for christmas like 3 years ago. would i actually have decent clothes if i could? i mean matt dresses fairly well in my opinion. granted, he has to look nice for work, but even when he isn't at work he has some nice clothes. i imagine shannon has helped a lot with that. maybe it is just his long black coat that i think is stylin. i guess it isn't as much the clothes, but whether i could keep up that stylish appearance. i mean, right now hygene really plays no role in my life, simply because it doesn't matter at all. like, i go to work dirty, and guess what, every one else is dirty too because we were all outside. i don't shave for a week? it doesn't matter, because my coworkers don't care at all. i guess my hair kind of tops it all off. i kind of like the disheveled look it always has, so the rest of me follows suit. what is the point of dressing all up if your hair looks all crazy and ruins the stylish thing anyways.

i don't mean to sound vain or anything, but these days i have a level of happyness and confidence i have never really had before. its like confidence leads to a little bit of cockyness, and cockyness leads to a little bit of vanity. it is such an alien feeling to say, look at myself in the mirror and think i look good just about every day. i don't think i have really changed, it is more of a mental thing. i'm not going to make any huge broad claims that i am hot or anything, but i don't think i am unattractive. at least, most of the time, i find myself to be good looking. of course there are some weeks, like this week, where i have blemishes up the wahoo and stuff, but that doesn't happen that often anymore. i always seem to have a few, but not the constant barrage that it was before.

workity work. today has turned into a pretty good day, because work hasn't really played a detrimental factor. in fact, work hasn't really played a factor at all. i mean, sure i am here now, but not really anyone else is. i am free. there is no one in my office, and none of my bosses are here. the fact that i was out all morning and people didn't know where i was didn't matter. of course, the fact that i was actually doing stuff this morning helps, but still.

i had a nice chat with two people who walk in one of the parks i work at everday today. i was out alone seeding the beds, and they were like where's everyone else!!! and i was like, oh, its just me today. and so they asked what i was doing, and i was like spreading seeds. they thought i said spreading weeds, which led to some good laughs. i explained to them why i was doing it, and they were like, thats great! and they thanked me for coming out and helping in the park. they were just nice. sometimes when i am working in the park, people see me, and see that i am young and working, and just brush me off as some punk who is out doing manual labor in the park. i don't claim to know a lot about environmental restoration, but i know more than people outside of the field. most people think i am just some random scrub the city sent out to pull weeds and haul mulch. really, at this park i am more or less in charge of things. like next monday, i'm going to be in charge. people walking past see me, and think i'm just working, but i'm not. i'm the man, i'm the one who knows what he is doing, who is telling everyone else where to go and what to do. thats why its cool sometimes, when people do stop to talk to me, and i can just explain a few things to them, and they get really impressed, or when people like these two people who know i'm out there a lot, and know whats going on stop to chat, and don't think of me as some random screw off. i mean, as much as i blow off work in the office at this job, out in the field i know what i'm doing, because i am out there doing it just about everyday. i mean, ryan could probably attest to this. if he had to jump into the role i have now, he would be able to do it, because he has been around it, doing the stuff. it isn't really that complicated with a little experience, or even just someone explaining it too you. it isn't rocket science....

i wish i could take a few months off of everything and sit down and write a book or something. i think that would be fun. even if it turned out like shit and i never showed anyone, i think i could enjoy that :) of course, we all know i would never have the motivation to actually follow through and finish it, but who knows. maybe writing is what i was meant to do. maybe i could stay motivated and actually write a book. i sincerely doubt i could, but you never know. some day, i will find something that holds my interest. at least i hope so... there has to be something. i just haven't found it yet.

frivved up by Ben at 2:32 PM

POOP

i think work has blogger blocked now, doh, fucked.... this place could possibly get a lot more boring. i know work will get a lot more boring

speaking of boring work, i went to this seminar thing yesterday. there was really no reason for me to be there, besides the fact that i was getting paid. all my coworkers and i were so bored, and it was such a worthless thing. oh well, it killed a bunch of time. but really, it was geared towards setting up volunteer run computer labs. how that relates to us, i don't know. whatever.

what the hell am i going to do at work now!!!!!! dammit!!!!!!

fucked, i'll be back later

frivved up by Ben at 4:03 PM

testes...

frivved up by Ben at 4:51 PM

the good weekend that turned into a somewhat annoying sunday which turned into a crappy monday morning.

fuck my car. thats all i'm going to say on that aspect of this.

fuck me. thats all i'm going to say on this aspect of things.....

fuck traffic. ok, fuck traffic. traffic blows. it took me 2 hours to get the mail for work this morning. montlake was backed up to uvillage. this is the stuff you expect at like 4 in the afternoon, but at 9 in the morning? traffic shouldn't be sucking that much. it usually isn't. who knows what was up today. gah GAH.

i just need to get my car to a point of reasonable workocity. the term good enough describes just about every thing i do. i didn't actually fix my computer, i just got it to the point where it was working good enough. i am always one step short of success. i'm not a fuck up, but i never really live up to all expectations. adequate describes me and my life fairly well....

frivved up by Ben at 11:09 AM

sluts the the WHUTS to the wizzle hizzuts.

wank dog, wank o a c mutha fucking wankRE. werd.

so yeah, we are here. its like 4 of us right now, and tomorrow that mad shizzle that we find all up in our hizzle. anyways, its been a good time. two of the guys brought a little pipocity, so we have a little hizziocity. we have a little alcoholmocity to biznalance the shizz oh yeah. we just lost our internet, so who knows when this will get pizznosted.....................

harm showed up for a little while and regaled us with stories from fire fighting school :) he has training tomorrow, but he will be around later. i have decided that i won't be in on sunday, and possibly not monday. oh god, i am so getting fired. oh well. i'm young.......... and stupid................... hellz yeah. this is going to turn into a 4.5 day weekend. how tight is THAT. that is TIZZIGHT. you know it, dawg. who's the man now!!!!! there can be only one man........ shit i am going off on tangents quoting smalls. lol, jeebus mary me.

manuel did a tribute to tripat. it was because it was his bloggiversery. that has reminded me, i'm almost at my bloggoversery. i think it is the 16th or something. that is really strange to me. that was so long ago. i was living at home still. i was waiting for my turntables!!!! you remember those blogs? about me waiting for my turntables, then me finally getting back into community college, then blogging about traffic? jesus that was a fuckload ago. 1 year, that is nuts.... the fact that i got 92 unique hits the other day also distresses me. unique means it could be the same person, but one guy didn't just smash the refresh button 50 times in a row. but i mean, 40 hits can be just like 5 people visiting 8 times a day, but 92 means other people are stopping by. like other people i don't know. people from zimbabwe, oman, and gibralter. if they actually take the time to read this.... jeebus. that is a little frightening, but also a little bit emboldening. i mean, if people actually come and read, that means they care to some degree. maybe this is just one more thing to entertain them each day, but still someone is noticing me.

where do i really fit in? i mean, the only thing that society would really define me by right now is my job, and i think my job is bullshit. i'm living away from my family, i'm not going to school... am i my job, in societies eyes? or am i just some borderline leech, one step away from welfare. scrapping from paycheck to paycheck. that would really suck, i'm not a leech. i pay my way. i pay rent, no matter how crazy the concept may be. i pay for food, i pay car insurance, i pay for gas. i mean jeez, i'm making my own, albeit barely. but fuck that. besides being independant, there is nothing really to me that anyone can look at and recognize.... i don't want to go down as just some nameless boob, never having done anything. i guess i am just young, and want to leave my mark on the world. the only problem is, most people who feel like this are like new english major or something, going out saying, i'm going to write a damn book and win the pulitzer or something like that. me, however, i'm just like, i want to do something.. i don't know what it is, i don't really care what it is... i just don't want to go into the books as another nameless person.....

so yeah, see yah when i see yah FIRST EVER PROGRESS QUEST LAN EVAR

frivved up by Ben at 8:06 AM

here i am, mr. SLUUUUUUUUT.

alright, WAnk here, live from SLUTcon2002. also known as the geek olympics, also known as geeks on parade, also known as the 3rd Seattle LAN Unreal Tournament Conference. a bunch of us in the seattle area get together in this great place in tukwilla, set up our computers for a weekend and play video games and drink and such. its a lot of fun, actually :) anyways, i'm the first one here, also the only one here, so i am blogging :) not that i really minded being the one to check in, the receptionist was really cute :D

but yeah, geeks on parade. don't expect too much in the way of entertaining blogs this weekend. i'm going to be here in tukwilla today and tomorrow, and i have to work on sunday. then sunday night, i'm going up to bellingham for ryans 21st. then i have to be back in seattle for work on monday morning. i have a conference to go too on monday afternoon. i have no idea how this is going to work, but somehow it will. i have a very strong suspicion that i will be skipping work on sunday, which would be bad, because i will probably miss work on monday too. and i had today off. so, yeah, hopefully i can keep my job after this, because i skipped out on the second half of thursday. gaaaaaaaaaah, why does everything have to happen all at once. and why the hell can't ryan's damn birthday be on a friday like mine!!!! that would make things so much damn easier. oh well, i'm young and stupid, so it will all work out. if it doesn't, all my fears will come true and i will have to find a new job ;)

ok, more on a serious note. thinking about 21 runs and such makes me think about the beer i got with my dad. i wish i was more buddy buddy with him. sometimes i wish i could tell him all my crazy stories from college and such. sometimes i think he wants me too. but when i actually start telling a story, he gets that whole parentaly discomfort face, and i cut it off short, and we end up having not much to talk about. oh well... i don't think he really drank much in college. i have never really asked him, but i think he has followed the straight and narrow pretty much his entire life. maybe i am making up for generations of social boringness in my family. that is a funny concept, me making up for the rest of my family on a social level, lol :D

what to do, what to do. there is a tv in the other room, and a waterbed in the other. might as well go check those out, peace :)

frivved up by Ben at 3:22 PM

so yeah, whats up.

work today.... it snowed, it was cold, it was boring, i was hungover, etc etc etc. one of the hardest 4 hours i've ever been through, but it is over, so no use complaining :) i took the afternoon off out of self pity.

today, i really have nothing to say. i mean, you get those days, where you sit there and you want to write, etc etc etc. BUT THEN NO. there is nothing to write about. fucked, out like trout. instead of wanking around in circles, i will leave you with this picture.



ross is acting cracked out on friends. it is pretty damn funny. he's acting like he is drunk.

frivved up by Ben at 7:49 PM

ok

tjhis blog is aobut the directive of blogging A GIANT WANG ON THE MOON

id odn't see how things coudl ebe negative, fi the rewas a giant penis on the moon. mbut, if iam the only one who watns penises on the moon, so be it. peinses on the moon will work. ti will be like omg!!! there is a place for our astronauts to ladn on the moon!!! they came be like, i iwill land next ot the penis, an it will be alll good.. i mean, if you could land next to somethign, wouldnt it be a peniS??? serously. if o could land my care... i would land next ti a better car. bercasue myi car sucks!!!! i mean, if i were to blog about things that sucked, i woudl blog a boetu my dam car!!! because my DANEM CARE SUCSK!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate my iacer. it like , drips fuuiles, amdn i am like fuck yo ucaer. keep your dam n fullidds. if you keep youf fluids, i keep driving you. but it doesn't!!!! hwyue doesn't you keep your flids!!!!! i want to keep drivnign the fluids, but it doesn't keep them. why not?!?!! because it B:LPWS AMD SICKES ANT THE SAME NTIME!!! fuck my car. im ean seraioinlly.... itsda ll my foautll...........

frivved up by Ben at 10:13 PM

oh yeah, and some game called the curse of monkey island is now installed on my laptop. i have no idea where it came from, or why it is installed. i am thinking of seeing what it is here :D

frivved up by Ben at 3:07 PM

heyooooooo afternoon bloggoooooo

please note that my whole devils advocate thing down there should be taken in a satirical way. i'm not about to go start worshiping the devil, i was just kind of recreating where my train of thought was hopping around after that movie :) it is also kind of funny to flip around the teachings of christianity just for the sake of doing it. so yeah, i'm not going to eat your children...

here at work, workaty work. the foundations computer tech guy came in today, and installed some new security software on the two computers in my office here. by security software, i think he means webuse tracking software. i can't store cookies anymore, and i think it is tracking all the websites i go to now. it would be a pretty easy thing to go fiddle with the settings to get cookies back, at least, but that would just be wrong. it would be worse if it wasn't tracking websites, and they found out or something. so yeah, i'll live with it. let them track my webuse. maybe they will find my blog and my rantings here, lol. crap.......

rantings are rantings, but at the end of the day, they are just rantings

want to go hoooooomeee.

i think some of my coworkers just got back from where ever they were today. hmmm...

frivved up by Ben at 3:05 PM

bleat bleat wank booooot...

so, at work. bleh. in about an hour or so i will probably leave for lunch, but what to do in that hour or so. i am tired, have a headache, and generally don't feel like doing anything whatsoever. i wish i could just stay home, and still receive a paycheck. they could reroute all of my email to my home email address. i mean, jeez, that is all i really need to come to the office for until the end of the month. this way i wouldn't get pegged with worthless little crap jobs that don't need doing, just for the sake of having something to do. i could sit around and browse the internet, which is most of what i do anyways. it isn't like it is important for me to be here.

but, if i quit my job, what would i do? like i have the motivation to actually go find something else... it would never happen. my roomates would ask for rent, my check would bounce, and i would fuck all 4 of us. that would be a bitch. as long as i keep getting paychecks, i will keep doing what they tell me to do, and pretending to care about it.

at least i'm not in school.

alright, here goes. devil's advocate. gets me thinking about heaven and hell from a christian standpoint, if by some chance they did exist. my opinion on this... the bible grossly exaggerates just about everything. it is a sneaky book. it sounds good, but it is full of contradictions and half-truths. half of the shit in there has to be thrown out, or reinterpreted because it is so rediculous. i believe that you can't believe anything you hear in there at face value. you have to realize what it is. it is the longest running propaganda campaign known to mankind. it presents only information that is pertinent to its cause, and it presents it in such a way that its cause looks like the only cause. it is a sneaky ad campaign for christianity. it is like a political tv spot. it takes all the flaws of the opposing side, and magnifies them until they are larger than life. meanwhile, it takes the good things, and blows them up in a similar way. you have to sift through all the bullshit to find anything that could closely resemble truth. it plays on all of the human emotions to try sway your opinion. in the end, what it comes down too is most of the bible is trying to persuade you with fear. if you came in knowing absolutely nothing abour christianity, or god, or anything, god would come off as the bully of the universe, and humans would come off as his pawns in his sick twisted game. if this person was intelligent, they would realize how silly most of the stuff is.

Because of this, i actually sympathize more with lucifer than i do with god. i mean, take jesus and the apostles, and all the good teachings out of the equation. that wasn't god, that was just some guy saying he acted on the behalf of god. look at the rest of the stuff. god smites, god destroys, god rules with no tolerance and an iron fist. he is petty, he is cruel, he is stubborn. he is a juvenile asshole. Lucifer has the gaul to question something god says. god is like, no fuck you, no one questions me!!!! so lucifer says, fuck you then, you are an asshole, and goes to live down on earth. this brings us to two questions about hell (leaving heaven completely out of the equation now). is hell actually a place? did lucifer actually go underground to live, or did he stay on earth, and "corrupt" humankind. my thinking is the latter. i mean look, he is on earth when he tempts eve. he is on earth when he approaches jesus i think it was in the desert. did he ever actually go underground? i think the devils advocate more or less had it right. lucifer said, fuck this shit and came down to rule earth, because it probably pisses god off more than anything.

lets think for a second. if lucifer is actually underground, why would he torture those who were cast into hell to live with him? he is more subtle than that. he doesn't work with brute force and cruelty the way god does. he is sneaky. subtlety is a sign of intelligence, something i think god lacks. he rules through fear and brute strength. thus, i'm thinking hell would be the place to be. it is probably the party to defeat all parties. i mean, when lucifer is corrupting stuff, what is really happening? he is injecting fun into the situation. seven deadly sins, pfffffttt. when most people look for a fun situation, they seek out sin. god would have us be sheep, wandering around, doing his bidding without question. what would we be without sin? we would be shells of people, never living, never enjoying the things around us. there would be no competition, no technology, no advancement in civilization. if you look back at everything humankind has accomplished, just about everything can be linked too one of the seven deadly sins, or if not, linked to be against one of the seven heavenly virtues. i can't imagine life without sin. it would be absolutely rediculous. give me hell, any day.

heaven.... if we keep along with the bible is full of shit line of thinking, and the god is petty and cruel and stupid line of thinking, heaven is nothing to strive for. utopia? in who's eyes? in gods eyes. for all we know, god could revel in torture. the roles could be reversed. you could go up to heaven, and be tortured for his amusement. this could be considered rapture, if you look through his eyes. but, above all, heaven is a place without sin. everyone's idea of bliss contains a fair amount of sin. without sin, there is no pleasure. you aren't allowed to have more than you absolutely need. you aren't allowed physical pleasure. you are allowed to take pride in yourself. you aren't allowed to be lazy. ok fuck me, but when i think absolute bliss, it involves me doing nothing, having everything, being happy and proud of myself, and being surrounded by beauty. but those can all be considered sins. heaven is completely without sin. i envision heaven as a dungeon. you live in a cell, are taken out for slave labor, are given the bare essentials to survive. you stay quiet and don't question the guards. and you are sentanced to this fate, because you chose god. lets go through this. temperance, stay quiet, mind your own business and do what you are told. prudence, don't question the guards, or you get beaten. charity, you get nothing, but you do work for someone else at great cost to yourself. fortitude, if you aren't strong, you die. hope, if you are a prisoner and lose hope, then you may as well be dead. and faith. you are here because of your faith. what it all comes down too, is that this is gods sick twisted version of justice.

it is better to rule in hell, than serve in heaven. this is true.

matt and i got to talking about this, and specifically about being the son of the devil. this is all assuming that hell is fire and brimstone and torture and stuff. what a great thing that would be. even if you live in hell, you get the cush part of hell. i mean, it isn't like the devil tortures himself...

so anyways, i've always found it kind of fun to flip the roles, and try to justify something that seems outlandish. the more i thought about it though, the more merit i have found. it makes me really happy that i don't believe in heaven or hell, because it is all so confusing :)

frivved up by Ben at 11:10 AM

I have a new plan

here we go. everyone is always still in my office. today, someone decided to eat lunch in here with me. I mean, jeez, crazyness… so I have this open word document here, minimized a little so it looks like I am doing something else. when really, I am blogging. this way, I get to keep my title, and I don’t have to worry about someone turning around and noticing the big title about sluts on the main page. it also looks more like I am doing work I suppose, than sitting there staring blankly at a webpage.

so yeah, what to really blog about. work sucks, but that is a given. I have to work on Sunday. I think this means I get Friday off, but still….. I won’t be able to go up for ryans 21 thing on Saturday, only on Sunday. even then, I’ll have to call in sick. I call them up, and tell them that my car isn’t starting, and I am in Bellingham so getting a ride isn’t really an option. yeah, that will do it. anyways, it should be a good weekend of fun filled funness.

weekdays have this blah attitude to them. I think bryan said it best last night when he said “I wish hangovers didn’t exist so we could drink everynight.” and I agreed, and there this sad feeling came over the car. oh well. we can’t have everything. still, it would be fun to be missing all the responsibilities that come with a 8-4 job. 8 oclock is really damn early, especially when you have a 40 min commute. I am not cut out for waking up this early. I never go to sleep before about 1. usually it is around 2, sometimes 3. I start waking up before 7. this means I get at the most less than 6 hours of sleep, and at the worst less than 4. I am not made to live like this. my body resists it. if you had asked me during college whether I would ever be able to do this, I would have told you it is impossible. yet, still I end up out of bed, on my way to work. it just doesn’t make sense. I still contend that I am way too lazy to have a real job. most of the time I do not consider my job a real job. I dunno, everything around here lacks that level of professionalism that you would come to expect. when I first came back, in the months before ryan came back, it was there. but now, with all the crazyness going down with the organization, and the complete seeming mental retardation of my boss, it is just nonexistent. no one really cares, at all anymore. there is this shroud of depression and acceptance around the office.

yet still I come in. not a day goes past where I consider just sending in an email that says I quit. each time I think, I have spent so much time building up this whole uncaring attitude towards this job, it would be a waste to leave now. I would just have to do it all over again at my next job. I wish things weren’t so damn expensive, and that I could just get some bullshit part time job to pay the bills. but that is not an option. everything is expensive. our heating bill was $330 this month. good god… needless to say, we don’t turn the heater on anymore. at least we try not to. I dunno, I think someone is, because bryan has had to turn it off a few times. the heat doesn’t get to the upstairs anyways, there isn’t a vent, so I could care less either way, whether it is on or off. in fact, I vote for off, because that is another $80 a month that I don’t have to pay.

oh yeah, I have a quick question for anyone who was on campus yesterday. was the power out up the hill at about noon yesterday? because all the stop lights starting at pacific and ending at 55th were out. it made for an interesting drive home, while people tried to figure out how to do it. it is pretty easy. a traffic light that is out is treated like a 4 way stop. but of course, you have the absolute morons who just ignore the fact that it is out, and go right on through. you would think after 3 stop lights, people would notice that they were not on, and that people were stopping in front of them like at a stop sign, and not just blow right through when they get up. it is scary.

bwaaaaaaaah, I so don’t want to be here. I just want to go home. it is really disappointing that there are always people in my office. I like it more when I am not accountable to anyone at all. in fact, I actually have something to do, but I need to use the computer my coworker is using, instead of this one. but I can’t, because she is always on it. oh well, I don’t really care if it gets done anyways, honestly. I would much rather not do it. but still, the fact that I have something to do but can’t is pretty damn funny.

why is everything so expensive. I don’t really understand how rent prices work. I mean, they just keep going up and up and up. inflation is a bitch. ok, I understand the underlying principles of why it is happening, I am just pissed because I get bit in the ass by it. I swear, inflation should only account for so much……

I watched the devil’s advocate the other night. I really don’t want to get totally into the thought processes this brought about right now, but I fully intend too before the week is over. so look forward to that.


frivved up by Ben at 3:24 PM

anyways, right now i am wearing a survivor bandana to keep my hair out of my face and such.... i am watching this great video, jimmy eat world - the middle. lotssssss of people in underwear, always good...

frivved up by Ben at 4:58 PM

woooooo doggie

i'm home. there is no one looking over my shoulder or anything. i can elaborate on other things i didn't quite elaborate so much on before, particularly my night out on the town :)

but first a few things. Pokemon. they rock. plain and simple. there isn't really anything bad you can say about pokemon. people are just against pokemon, because it is trendy to hate them. if people really thought about it, and actually watched it, people would like them. i love it, i watch it whenever its on, and i think about it :) i have seen the pokemon movie a few times, on hbo family and all that jazz.

second, traffic. there is a thin line between asserting yourself and being cocky. there is another thin line between being cocky and being retarded. too many people are retarded. when i am alone, i consider myself to be cocky. i know what i want to do, and i have a certain set of unwritten rules that i abide by, and i think most other motorists abide by. i know my car is worth less than a fair number of the other cars on the road. i use this to my advantage. if you are being an asshole to me, i don't really care. i'll manage to put you in a position where if you hit me, it will be your fault, and you will end up fucking up your nice new car. like today, some woman was driving this nice new mercedes. she decided that she didn't have to let anyone merge in front of her where the two lanes of traffic on the onramp came together. i pushed my way so i was in front of her. she still wasn't letting me merge, so i just held my position. it got to the point where she could have wedged herself between the wall and my back fender if she really wanted too. she backed off, and i finished my merge. i don't really care too much about my car, so if it means that much to her not having me merge in front of her, she could have gone right ahead and hit me. i get annoyed when people don't follow these little rules, and end up driving in the retarded zone. i do whatever i can to knock them back to at least cocky.

jing brought up a few interesting points when he was talking about driving in LA. i'm not sure how i would hold up. everyone drives so fast and such, and my car has terrible to non existant accelleration rates. if i had my dads mustang, i would probably do ok, but not in my car. i think some of what he was talking about, knowing what other people are going to do even if they don't signal or anything, applys to any sort of commuting traffic situation. seattle has fairly notoriously bad traffic, but that is mostly because we have notoriously bad drivers. still, if you drive in rush hour traffic every morning in a half asleep state, some of these techniques about knowing what other people are going to do become instinctual. i think it would be really interesting to see him drive. he has a very very nice car, and he lives in LA. and he is into street racing. i mean jesus, it would be fun to see :) he's still no match for my tempo, but yeah yeah, oh baby.

PAUSE for a second. SOLAR BEAM ATTACK WHUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! best attack ever. i love it when they do this :D i wish i could see them use it more. the wimpy little gloom somehow knew solar beam, and the BITCHSMACKWHUT team rocket is gone. hell yeah. now bulbasaur is flirting with the gloom. its great :D pokemon ROCKS

ok, so now back to this weekend. harm rocks, he cracks me up. it was fun just bumming around with him, even if i wasn't talkative :) it was cool to have bryan a long too, we made a decent enough trio, even if none of us actually really hit on chicks. i was having fun people watching, which as harm commented on turned into staring at superbitches boobs most of the time. she kept fiddling with her tube top, and like grabbing them and pushing them up. i was dying. at one point, she stood up, faced away from us and adjusted her pants. i was in midsentance when she did that, and i lost all my concentration. it was pretty funny. i find it hil-fucking-larious that harm gave her a business card :D so yeah, to chronicle our experience with her. we get there, i go grab the table behind her and her little group. our table is in the back corner. so, while i am sitting there, she is sitting there with this guy. some other girl comes up, and sits on this guys lap. i'm just like ohhhh shiot. so the annoying girl is obviously mad. eventually the guy just kind of gets up and walks off. good move on his part :D so she is sitting there stewing at what happened, and harm comes back with the first set of drinks. he has no real way to get back to his seat, because she won't push in her chair at all to let him past. so he steps on two chairs, and is kind of above her for a second, and ends up bumping her chair a little. she is PISSED. she sits there and glares at harm, and lets out an indignant scoff. we are just like, oh damn.... so anyways, bryan gets back with his drink. at this point, she is the only one at her table. so bryan puts his foot up on the side of one of the chairs at her table. she turns around, and in a really rude, condescending voice goes "do you mind.." bryan being the great guy he is, goes, sorry, i didn't know you were using ALL of these chairs right now. she's like yeah, actually i am. the conversation continues, she claims she is a manager at ricks, and that she knows everyone, and she is going to go have us kicked out. i am just laaaaaaughing into my hand the entire time, because it is so rediculous. so, after that we are kind of reeling from what happened. it was great being in a noisy bar, because no one could hear us. harm was hilarious, he is sitting there yelling about how stupid and predictable women can be directly at her, and she couldn't hear :D i was craaaaaacking up. i didn't really care. i knew going into the night i probably wasn't going to talk to any girls or anything, especially after what i had heard from german ben about the crowd at belltown billiards. this whole bar thing is new to me, i don't think i am quite ready for the hitting on chicks aspect of it :)

i think i pretty much went through the experience in the parking lot... i suck, lol.

the crowd that watches mtv2 obviously has better taste than those that watch mtv. i mean, you watch trl, it is all hip hop and boybands, with maybe one or two token rock songs on it. at least, that is how it was when i used to watch it. who knows what it is like now. i mean, i like hip hop and boybands, but the songs they have on there usually kind of suck... they have this great show on mtv2 called control freak. people go and vote for the next song out of 3 choices, while the song that is currently playing is still on. it shows the percentages on the side, and so you can see things change as people go vote. they have some damn good videos on mtv2, it is usually enjoyable to watch. i mean, the people just voted for Beck - Deadweight. i LOVE that song. i mean, damn, any group of people who votes to see deadweight has to be pretty damn cool.

my hair is getting a little unruly. i'm not sure if i like it this long anymore. of course, everytime i say this, a few weeks later it looks different to me, and i like it.

oh god, INSTASHELVES. these things are so booty. they hold 10 lbs. BUT BEWARE OF SHELVES THAT DON'T LIGHT UP!!!!!!!

whooooooo, i'm losing it, i need to sit around and not think for a bit. my mind is flipping, and i really don't want to try to start blogging about a new topic again right now.........

frivved up by Ben at 4:55 PM

bling bling, pop wood.

I don't want to do anything, i just want to go home. everything is seeming so stupid lately. i sit around, keeping everything i actually want to do until the weekend so i will be able to get up for work the next morning. of course, come weekend time all i really want to do is be lazy, have absolutely nothing to do, without any worries of when i have to eat or go to bed or get up and such to be in good condition for work the next morning. so, i never end up doing anything. weekends are way too short, they fly by. the work week drags on and on and on.

this weekend was way too short, but it was pretty fun... i went out on saturday with my friend harm from puyallup and bryan. for some reason i wasn't feeling very sociable, so i didn't talk very much... in hindsight i feel kind of bad from this because i probably sat their like a lump most of the time. also in hindsight, i would have stuck to rum and cokes, no matter how watered down they were instead of taking those crazy other shots, whatever they were. they went down all right, but they made me really sick after having only a few of them. just thinking about them makes me queasy. so yeah, i am still 3-3 with harm, 3 times drinking, 3 times puking. i don't remember all of the puking, but i really hope he doesn't have to wash off the side of his car or something :D the time i do remember puking, was in the parking lot after i had jumped out and was trying to lift up the gate to let us out without having to pay :) that was really damn funny, because they guy is yelling, and i just start puking LOL. i can make all the excuses i want for why i puked, AGAIN, but they will all be stupid. i mean, i imagine the fire extinguisher shit did really help. it probably sped up the process so i did it before in the car, instead of half way home, lol. so yeah. rule #1 to barhopping for me. stick to mixed drinks. shots will just fuck me up. i guess i just suck like that now adays.

there was a really funny uberbitch at belltown billiards though. i don't understand how someone could be that objectionable of a person. luckily she had a decent enough body that i could stare at, so i didn't start mouthing off to her. i mean god damn, she was just insane. she got so mad at us for the stupidest shit. it was like our presence was soiling her experience. we should have stood up and pooped on her table or something before we left.

work is dumb, and then you go home. work is stupid, so you complain. work is pointless, so you be lazy.

this is my mantra. i will continue repeating this to myself so i can continue through the day in the trance-like stupor i have currently achieved.....

i have been condsidering a religion blog of sorts.... i watched the devils advocate for the first time last night, and it has brought about some strange thinking :)

i am seriously considering just up and leaving right now.

frivved up by Ben at 3:26 PM

sitting around, nothing doing. good thing too, me and a few of my friends pushed back our barhop from last saturday to this saturday. it should be cool, one of them i have never actually drank with, and the other one i have had a lot of fun both time i have drank with him. that is, of course, if the other guy comes. i haven't actually really hung out with him that much before, but i think it would be a lot of fun to hit some bars with him now that i am legal and all that jazz. either way, i'm going out with at least one of my friends tomorrow. something we have been putting off for too long because of stupid "not being 21" and all... it is really annoying that he lives all the way in puyallup. that is a long way to drive, and we all know how lazy i really am. i really like him and the people he hangs out with. i still feel like kind of an outsider, but when i went to his house for the anti-valentines day party, and there was a card, and a cookie, and everyone was acting like they knew me and i belonged there, it really helped me loosen up. i think i didn't come off as a complete gomer this time, until all the sleeping arrangements were being worked out. i still feel like i blew it on that one. but whatever, i still had a lot of fun...

these are the nights that digital cable come in really handy. i almost saw if ryan was down for me coming up to bellingham, but decided not too because i was going out tomorrow and i didn't want to flake out on this one. it is really funny i didn't actually call up ryan, because i have flaked out on him so many damn times. it would have been cool to see him, but spring break is coming up, and if he doesn't come back, i'm going up there. it has been too damn long. digital cable fills a void. sometimes you need a night more or less to yourself. i am much less likely to sleep through the day in an hungover stupor if i sit around watching movies, and blogging of course :)

i don't know why i have been on such a kick lately. it seems like there are so many ideas running around in my head, and i feel like i should be putting them down on paper, or virtual paper as the case may be. the problem is, i am not sitting on the computer when these ideas come to me. my fingers cannot type as fast as my brain can work, so it is not a reasonable thing for me to leap out of my bed or my chair or whatever and just start typing. some times i really really wish i could stay focused for more than a few minutes. i guess i just have to accept the fact that i can't keep my mind on one thing for more than a few minutes. never have, never will be able to be. i was the kind of kid who ran around like a monkey on the playground. i would run around in church, i would run around in the grocery store, not paying attention to anything that was going on. i guess i have moved on from here, but the same kind of mindset still sticks with me. instead of letting my body follow my mindset, i let my mind run rampant, skipping from subject to subject, never pausing to pay attention to one thing for long enough to let it take a hold.

another thing that really ends up hacking me off.... i never have the need, or the motivation to actually follow up with any of my ideas. i never really do research to back these things up. i find this idea, and then i don't want to have to actually come up with reasons to support it. but then people ask me to explain myself, and i'm just like, uhhh uhhh... yeah... when you really think about it, why should i bother? just so someone else can try to dissect my idea, while i still can't even remember half of it myself? nah, i'm not really one for debate. i am content just thinking. i just wish i could keep some record of my thoughts, so i don't end up being redundant.

frivved up by Ben at 11:49 PM

trav, i'm curious as to what exactly happened. if you don't want to put it on your blog, you can email me. i didn't see an actual story in your blogs, but maybe i missed one. sounds like a shitty deal though :/

and you are right. nothing has really changed with the blogging frequency. it is just rare to see a day where NO ONE from the original buffooned alliance blogs, so it kind of threw me for a loop :) doing all the other things on the internet i used to do is taking less and less time, so i keep finding new things to do. that is why all these new blogs are good.

frivved up by Ben at 4:25 PM

and on a final note.... operation sneak out of work commencing

(sorry for the 3 blogs in the last 5 minutes, i am preoccupied with LEAVING WORK FOR THE WEEKEND OH BABY)

frivved up by Ben at 3:38 PM

oh, and for all your progress quest people, i am level 40, probably 41 when i get home from work. i think i have 145 dex now or something. on the other hand, i wasn't in last place anymore!!!! i was ahead of a whole bunch of other level 40 guys. what is different now?? who knows. all of the sudden i wasn't last. this makes me happy, because i have been in last since like level 3 :P maybe it is my charisma. i only have like 30 charisma still. no one votes for the boring guy in the corner, even if he is a talking horse.

frivved up by Ben at 3:38 PM

today, i have been ignoring traffic laws. i don't know why. i just kind of ignored the fact that i didn't have enough time to get through yellow lights, and get through while it is red. i was speeding more than i usually do, and i haven't really been signalling. i don't know why. nothing is really different, its just i haven't been doing it.

there was something really damn funny that happened today that i wanted to blog about. i think it was on the way home....

OH GOD YES!!! i was driving down montlake, and i pass a shoe. then a pair of jeans. then a shirt. then what i took to be a sock. then, what looked like a pair of tighty whiteys, although it could have been a pair of white cotton panties. i was in the other lane going 50, give me a break ;) the shirt looked like it could have been a red, female tshirt, but i could be wrong there too. somewhere, there is someone who is naked. i feel the need to find this person. they were obviously too good for their clothes. i want to go mooch some of their positive aura of nakedness. i may be too good for pants, but when it comes down to it, i usually keep my clothes on in public......

frivved up by Ben at 3:35 PM

weeeee doggie!!!

so much to talk about, i don't think i will be able to get it all out. by the end, i am sure i will have forgotten over half the stuff i really wanted to talk about today.

everyone is joining the blogger revolution :) i have a bunch of my online friends linked over on the side there, its sweet :D i have over twice as many blogs to read now. this is a good thing, because i am bored a lot.

there was something Jing said that i really wanted to comment on, but i really forget what it was now, maybe i'll come back to this.

but but!!!! ryan was talking about top gun. top gun is a great movie. when you look through it, sure a lot of things could be considered gay. but then again, if you have ever been to the gym, or hung around in a guys locker room before football/wrestling/sports practice, you know that it is just common practice to walk around in a towel, jock or completely naked. i absolutely hated this practice when i was actually doing wrestling for those 2 or 3 weeks in highschool. also, it added to the shittyness of the last time i tried to work out. i was in college, and i had forgotten to eat for a few days again. so needless to say, i almost passed out after the work out. so, calen and dan help me back to the locker where we had our shit, like the good guys they are. i come around, and i stand up, i look down the row, and there is manwang everywhere. god. i have always had trouble changing in the locker room when i get to keep my underwear on, let alone buck naked. i always went to swimming lessons with my trunks already on, and went home sitting on a towel so i didn't have to get naked. public nudity has always been a huge fear of mine. the fact that i was able to get naked at Harms house a few weeks ago says volumes about how much my self confidence has risen in the past few months.

anyways, back to the top gun. that shit wasn't really gay. it is just stereotypical jock practice. i mean, who else is going to be in the military besides all the jocks who realized their high school football wouldn't get them into the nfl. i know i certainly wouldn't. an arguement can be made that jocks are repressesd closet homosexuals anyways, but that is a different thing entirely. ok, now this is all stereotypical, i'm not saying everyone is like this, but i think that guys who play physical team sports tend to have more gay leanings, because of all the physical contact they have with other men. they enjoy the sport, the contact. they dryhump other guys and ride them to the ground, and they enjoy it. this is why jocks are so adamant that they aren't gay, because they have more feelings to try and shun. you ask a computer geek if he's gay, and he'll just be like, no, and maybe blush a little. you ask a football player if he's gay, he will get really defensive, yell random homophobic slurs, and then try to kick your ass.

ok enough blanket statements. top gun isn't gay. it is a guy movie, about physical guy stuff. ryans female friend is just bitter because she'll never see anyone as ripped as val kilmer up close and personal, let alone get with them, so she passes them off as OBVIOUSLY GAY!!!!!

ok, people in the office, and i forgot what i wanted to say anyways. i'll blog when i get home...... :D

frivved up by Ben at 3:11 PM