Saturday, May 29, 2004
boy howdy, what have i learned today.
jehova's witnesses are bastards. all of them. the other day, i get a knock on our back door, and it is these guys. one of them looks at me and says "do you think the things we do affect god?" i said that i didn't care and shut the door in his face. as i am walking back into the living room swearing at them, there is a knock on the front door. there are two more jehova's witnesses, both women. so this woman tries to hand me this stack of papers saying she has some articles she really thinks would help me. i tell her that i really doubt they will, and she gets this pissed look on her face and tries to shove them back into my hands. so i get mad and stare her down and tell her in not-so-friendly terms that there are two other assholes at my backdoor trying to give me the same damn articles, and that i just shut the door in their face. she even tells me that she saw them, and that she thought it would be better to come to the door anyways, in case i didn't listen too them. this is when i shut the door in her face. i'm going to make up a set of pamphlets to hand out to jehova's witnesses/mormans/christian vacuum salesmen that says "door to door whores." i'll explain how my new religion based on having sex with as many people that i don't know as possible has really gotten me in touch with god. i'll pull their same tricks on them, i.e. ignoring everything they have to say outright and changing the subject back to the door to door whores idea. i'll even tell them i'm recruiting, and i have a missionary position just for them :D
jehova's witnesses are bastards. all of them. the other day, i get a knock on our back door, and it is these guys. one of them looks at me and says "do you think the things we do affect god?" i said that i didn't care and shut the door in his face. as i am walking back into the living room swearing at them, there is a knock on the front door. there are two more jehova's witnesses, both women. so this woman tries to hand me this stack of papers saying she has some articles she really thinks would help me. i tell her that i really doubt they will, and she gets this pissed look on her face and tries to shove them back into my hands. so i get mad and stare her down and tell her in not-so-friendly terms that there are two other assholes at my backdoor trying to give me the same damn articles, and that i just shut the door in their face. she even tells me that she saw them, and that she thought it would be better to come to the door anyways, in case i didn't listen too them. this is when i shut the door in her face. i'm going to make up a set of pamphlets to hand out to jehova's witnesses/mormans/christian vacuum salesmen that says "door to door whores." i'll explain how my new religion based on having sex with as many people that i don't know as possible has really gotten me in touch with god. i'll pull their same tricks on them, i.e. ignoring everything they have to say outright and changing the subject back to the door to door whores idea. i'll even tell them i'm recruiting, and i have a missionary position just for them :D
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
who am i voting for today?
no one. i've never voted. i try not to bitch about politics because i don't vote. people always get mad at me for not voting. would having me flip a coin really benefit our democracy? i don't understand why people always yell at me. i feel i'm doing them a favor by letting the people who care decide. there is one compelling arguement to vote for john kerry though. he has a daugher who shows her boobs on the internet. i mean, i was excited about GW's daughters because they are drunk sluts, but here we are 3.5 years later and i haven't seen a single porn with them in it. but i have seen little miss kerry's boobies through a thin layer of fabric. if i were a voting man, that would be compelling enough. but i'm not. i'm going to let my dad forge my signature again. it makes me the son of the most powerful man in america. even gw only gets one vote.
no one. i've never voted. i try not to bitch about politics because i don't vote. people always get mad at me for not voting. would having me flip a coin really benefit our democracy? i don't understand why people always yell at me. i feel i'm doing them a favor by letting the people who care decide. there is one compelling arguement to vote for john kerry though. he has a daugher who shows her boobs on the internet. i mean, i was excited about GW's daughters because they are drunk sluts, but here we are 3.5 years later and i haven't seen a single porn with them in it. but i have seen little miss kerry's boobies through a thin layer of fabric. if i were a voting man, that would be compelling enough. but i'm not. i'm going to let my dad forge my signature again. it makes me the son of the most powerful man in america. even gw only gets one vote.
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
what have i learned today? (besides that i am usually the bigger idiot, and it makes me cooler than everyone)
i have very mixed feelings on the role the past should play in my new state of mind. part of me wants to throw it out the window and start from this moment, but then another part of me wants to comb through every memory i have for any lesson i can learn so i can backlog every situation i have been in for future reference. almost as an after thought, i remind myself that the answer lies somewhere in the middle. picking through my memories trying to find faults in my actions would just be self destructive. it is just counter productive. ditching my memories entirely would leave me repeating the same mistakes.
so great, what does this teach me? i spend too much time dwelling on the past. i know this, which is where the urge to just axe it entirely comes from. somewhere in my brain i have this little area devoted to statistical analysis that just never shuts down. i need to make things into numbers, then i need to put these numbers into formulas, then look at the results as if they mean something. its not like i'm plotting my love life on a graph or anything, but if i could figure out a way to make it work, i would. i'd set up an excel chart with sweet colors and 3D graphs.
oh yeah, i installed word and excel again. i went a long long time without them, but i thought i'd bring excel back now that i have my finances keeping track of themselves anyway. so i have this little work book with a bunch of numbers i already know. i just didn't know them past the decimal point. now i do! and negative numbers are in red! it rules. in a few months i should have enough numbers to make a line graph. or maybe one of those bar graph with different colors on each bar, because each bar has 3 different things it is showing. i mean, jeebus you can fit three different sets of related numbers in the same graph space, instead of having to plot them all on their own dumb lines. unless they are trying to make some cool curve or something, thats just wasting space. and even if they do make a cool curve, image how cool it would be to have 3 curves on top of each other! oh man, i need numbers, i need colors. i need to get a coloring book or something
i have very mixed feelings on the role the past should play in my new state of mind. part of me wants to throw it out the window and start from this moment, but then another part of me wants to comb through every memory i have for any lesson i can learn so i can backlog every situation i have been in for future reference. almost as an after thought, i remind myself that the answer lies somewhere in the middle. picking through my memories trying to find faults in my actions would just be self destructive. it is just counter productive. ditching my memories entirely would leave me repeating the same mistakes.
so great, what does this teach me? i spend too much time dwelling on the past. i know this, which is where the urge to just axe it entirely comes from. somewhere in my brain i have this little area devoted to statistical analysis that just never shuts down. i need to make things into numbers, then i need to put these numbers into formulas, then look at the results as if they mean something. its not like i'm plotting my love life on a graph or anything, but if i could figure out a way to make it work, i would. i'd set up an excel chart with sweet colors and 3D graphs.
oh yeah, i installed word and excel again. i went a long long time without them, but i thought i'd bring excel back now that i have my finances keeping track of themselves anyway. so i have this little work book with a bunch of numbers i already know. i just didn't know them past the decimal point. now i do! and negative numbers are in red! it rules. in a few months i should have enough numbers to make a line graph. or maybe one of those bar graph with different colors on each bar, because each bar has 3 different things it is showing. i mean, jeebus you can fit three different sets of related numbers in the same graph space, instead of having to plot them all on their own dumb lines. unless they are trying to make some cool curve or something, thats just wasting space. and even if they do make a cool curve, image how cool it would be to have 3 curves on top of each other! oh man, i need numbers, i need colors. i need to get a coloring book or something
Sunday, May 16, 2004
what else have i learned tonight?
flcl has taught me this. it takes an idiot to do something cool. thats why its cool. when you think about it, it makes sense. if they weren't such an idiot, they wouldn't have to do something cool, they'd just do something. how many times have you said 'yeah thats cool' when you have really meant 'you are an idiot shut the hell up'? so when we say something is cool, are we really calling the other person an idiot? are we an idiot for pointing out how cool it is, or are we just the neutral bystander pointing out the bright points in an otherwise dim mind. i guess that really depends on who is a bigger idiot
flcl has taught me this. it takes an idiot to do something cool. thats why its cool. when you think about it, it makes sense. if they weren't such an idiot, they wouldn't have to do something cool, they'd just do something. how many times have you said 'yeah thats cool' when you have really meant 'you are an idiot shut the hell up'? so when we say something is cool, are we really calling the other person an idiot? are we an idiot for pointing out how cool it is, or are we just the neutral bystander pointing out the bright points in an otherwise dim mind. i guess that really depends on who is a bigger idiot
Saturday, May 15, 2004
what have i learned today?
what is the difference between working hard doing something that you think matters and realizing your work has influenced nothing and realizing you are working hard to influence something that doesn't matter in the first place? its kind of like the difference between falling out of the sky and landing in the middle of some field and just lying in the field. no broken bones, no crater. it doesn't matter anyways, but at least your eyes didn't explode on impact so you can still watch the clouds. that is, until your boss finds you daydreaming and makes you go back to work.
is it a flawed plan? focusing on what doesn't matter because it doesn't matter in the first place? of course. it can matter to you.
phhhhhhht. spare me from myself. whats the problem in the first place? i'm alone in the middle of some fucking field. what the hell am i doing out there? where did i park my car? crap, i almost had that thing paid off....
what is the difference between working hard doing something that you think matters and realizing your work has influenced nothing and realizing you are working hard to influence something that doesn't matter in the first place? its kind of like the difference between falling out of the sky and landing in the middle of some field and just lying in the field. no broken bones, no crater. it doesn't matter anyways, but at least your eyes didn't explode on impact so you can still watch the clouds. that is, until your boss finds you daydreaming and makes you go back to work.
is it a flawed plan? focusing on what doesn't matter because it doesn't matter in the first place? of course. it can matter to you.
phhhhhhht. spare me from myself. whats the problem in the first place? i'm alone in the middle of some fucking field. what the hell am i doing out there? where did i park my car? crap, i almost had that thing paid off....
Friday, May 14, 2004
sooo, what have i learned today?
i wish i could go to an island and compete in rediculous challenges with 15 other people for 40 days for one million dollars. me against 15 other people... i think i could pull it off, at least have a better chance than your average housewife. i'd pull some shit on some people. i'd get my ass kicked, but it would be good television, at least if reality tv was the only option. a million dollars would be kind of nice...
i wish i could go to an island and compete in rediculous challenges with 15 other people for 40 days for one million dollars. me against 15 other people... i think i could pull it off, at least have a better chance than your average housewife. i'd pull some shit on some people. i'd get my ass kicked, but it would be good television, at least if reality tv was the only option. a million dollars would be kind of nice...
Monday, May 10, 2004
what have i learned today?
irrationality is the thing i fear most in the world. there is a certain amount of control available to over most people via logic, but irrational people are complete wild cards. leeches on the mentally functional...
irrationality is the thing i fear most in the world. there is a certain amount of control available to over most people via logic, but irrational people are complete wild cards. leeches on the mentally functional...
Sunday, May 09, 2004
what have i learned today?
flexibility is underrated. tripat may be a genius with all this multi-job crazyness, but i think it is going to lead him down a strange dark mental alleyway where people are turned into robots and forced to enslave the people who used to be their friends..... either way i'm rooting for him. maybe i could deliver pizzas for the robots, that wouldn't be half bad.
flexibility is underrated. tripat may be a genius with all this multi-job crazyness, but i think it is going to lead him down a strange dark mental alleyway where people are turned into robots and forced to enslave the people who used to be their friends..... either way i'm rooting for him. maybe i could deliver pizzas for the robots, that wouldn't be half bad.
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
what have i learned today?
apparently i'm having a quarter-life crisis. i think everyone i know is in a period of mental and emotional upheaval. i guess i'm glad i'm getting it out of the way 2 years early. at least it is just mental. at least the day to day stuff makes sense so the crisis doesn't have a tangible negative impact. i say bring it on. i'll try to figure whatever it is out. i'll come out a better person. now i just have to figure out why i'm having a crisis. is there a problem? i don't know. crisis usually indicates that there is a problem. i think the only real problem is waiting for things to work themselves out. i even know how things are going to work out, its just going to take a few months for it to happen, so in the mean time my mind is going through some journey or another tackling important issues and forming the breeding ground for some revolution or another. "things are going to be this way in 6 months, so why not just accept it and be this way now!" my mind says. so i do, i guess it speeds things up. but then what do you do. you are just waiting for 6 months to go by so your mind wanders.
maybe this is where the lottery comes in.
apparently i'm having a quarter-life crisis. i think everyone i know is in a period of mental and emotional upheaval. i guess i'm glad i'm getting it out of the way 2 years early. at least it is just mental. at least the day to day stuff makes sense so the crisis doesn't have a tangible negative impact. i say bring it on. i'll try to figure whatever it is out. i'll come out a better person. now i just have to figure out why i'm having a crisis. is there a problem? i don't know. crisis usually indicates that there is a problem. i think the only real problem is waiting for things to work themselves out. i even know how things are going to work out, its just going to take a few months for it to happen, so in the mean time my mind is going through some journey or another tackling important issues and forming the breeding ground for some revolution or another. "things are going to be this way in 6 months, so why not just accept it and be this way now!" my mind says. so i do, i guess it speeds things up. but then what do you do. you are just waiting for 6 months to go by so your mind wanders.
maybe this is where the lottery comes in.
Sunday, May 02, 2004
what have i learned today?
you can get free forums at many places.
i know, this is quite the revelation. using this information, i was able to get free forums. i only got them at one place, though. forums in many places would not be very useful. i don't actually know this, so i can't exactly say it is something i learned. call it an educated guess.
anyways, there is a link on the side. hopefully these ones will actually stay up. because it matters oh so much...
you can get free forums at many places.
i know, this is quite the revelation. using this information, i was able to get free forums. i only got them at one place, though. forums in many places would not be very useful. i don't actually know this, so i can't exactly say it is something i learned. call it an educated guess.
anyways, there is a link on the side. hopefully these ones will actually stay up. because it matters oh so much...
