Sunday, January 08, 2006
i am excited. i really am. i have been in such a great mood this new year. shit, i was in a great mood at the end of last year, but there were still some looming questions until the last few weeks slammed together and systematically solved all of my problems for me. not that they were really problems. more like points of mental attention that didn't involve dragons or swords or race cars. well, we just can't have that. somehow all of worries are taken care of now, so we are back here. back to normal. except now because of my new job, i don't have to worry about my car, which subsequently has now been paid for in full, until i sell it in the near future. i will sell it when i buy my new car, which for the sake of continuity will enivitably be sometime around my birthday at the end of february. this will also coincide with the release of the next two episodes of initial d. the symmetry is undeniable.
that isn't even what i am excited about though. every day, every plot point i flesh out in detail is pulling me closer and closer to writing my books. at this point, i have enough to start writing at any time. i just don't want too because every day for the past month or so, i have been making the stories better. i am excited, because i am currently in the middle of what i am calling hands down the most intense and fruitful period of creative output in my life. there is no reason to stop it, because it has reinjected the adrenaline of discovery back into planning. things i had only alluded too in the past are becoming concrete, and in turn answering questions in other places. the rest of the scenes are being built in front of my eyes (although, i guess i should call it behind my eyes). it is like watching a movie for the first time sometimes, as the rest of the story literally builds itself. and the entire time, the story gets better.
the story is evolving. i think i talked about this a few months ago, and if i didn't it was a post that i just deleted before publishing. before, i had only the series fleshed out, and i was working on planning the individual books. well, now the books are all fleshed out entities, beings of their own. i was talking to this about matt the other day, about how i can see the plot of these books in my head as an endless line, and i can move forward or backwards through the plot to any time period i need to get further explainations for things i need for other parts of the story. i have finally collected and connected everything together well enough that i can start drawing lines to delineate the books. now i get to magnify back down to the individual scenes that have been popping into my mind in the past 3 years or whatever, and start connecting them together. i finally get to start peicing together the visuals and adding them all together to create the scenes the drive the plotline in the first place. but now they aren't scenes, they are turning into one long flow. i can sit there at scene level, and fly down along the plot the same as i was at series level.
so why don't you start writing? that is the $100 question. the answer is, i have started writing, more than just metaphorically. the entire time, i have been collecting notes on each individual series, and in some cases individual books. it isn't the actual text, but it is in some cases outlines to the chapter level of plot points. in other cases it is a several page long overview of the plot and all of the characters. this was all done a few sentances at a time over the course of a few years, but now it feels like an encyclopedia to me because of how internal i have purposefully kept it. i only write things down when they are things i HAVE to have in the book. the things i have solidified in my mind as absolutely necessary. it had to grow slowly, because the creation process had to be so fluid in my mind. i knew this was how i had to write these books. this is why i took what may seem like such a lackadasical approach to something i was always fairly serious about. living up to a potential as high as mine is easier said than done. from the outside, i can seem like a childish person, that i could be so much more if i just focused and buckled down and tightened my bootstraps and surrendered to whatever imposition would turn me into your average adult. i was such a smart kid, why can't i just try a little harder for my own sake (read, everyone elses sake)? that is just the thing. i was a brilliant child. i still am a brilliant child. the beast of an adolescent who everyone wants to be a functional adult is mediocre at best. that is not who i am. the brilliant child inside me, the person who was shoved aside so violently by hormonal imbalances has taken back the reigns. it was pointless to try and fix the adult. so, i'm back. i feel like i have woken up from some crazy dream. maybe the last 10 years just never happened? now i have this fancy adult suit to wear when i go outside.
everyone is absolutely right. it was a damn shame that i was wasting all of that potential. well, i have figured out how to tap into it again without hurting myself. i have figured out how to harness the genius to the point that is has retaken control of my mind. i am so unbelievably happy.
the thing i really can't wait for, is the first time i get to read my books myself. i could sell no copies and still be happy as long as i have something new and awesome to add to my reading rotation. and i already know exactly how cool it is going to be! it gives me shivers thinking about it
that isn't even what i am excited about though. every day, every plot point i flesh out in detail is pulling me closer and closer to writing my books. at this point, i have enough to start writing at any time. i just don't want too because every day for the past month or so, i have been making the stories better. i am excited, because i am currently in the middle of what i am calling hands down the most intense and fruitful period of creative output in my life. there is no reason to stop it, because it has reinjected the adrenaline of discovery back into planning. things i had only alluded too in the past are becoming concrete, and in turn answering questions in other places. the rest of the scenes are being built in front of my eyes (although, i guess i should call it behind my eyes). it is like watching a movie for the first time sometimes, as the rest of the story literally builds itself. and the entire time, the story gets better.
the story is evolving. i think i talked about this a few months ago, and if i didn't it was a post that i just deleted before publishing. before, i had only the series fleshed out, and i was working on planning the individual books. well, now the books are all fleshed out entities, beings of their own. i was talking to this about matt the other day, about how i can see the plot of these books in my head as an endless line, and i can move forward or backwards through the plot to any time period i need to get further explainations for things i need for other parts of the story. i have finally collected and connected everything together well enough that i can start drawing lines to delineate the books. now i get to magnify back down to the individual scenes that have been popping into my mind in the past 3 years or whatever, and start connecting them together. i finally get to start peicing together the visuals and adding them all together to create the scenes the drive the plotline in the first place. but now they aren't scenes, they are turning into one long flow. i can sit there at scene level, and fly down along the plot the same as i was at series level.
so why don't you start writing? that is the $100 question. the answer is, i have started writing, more than just metaphorically. the entire time, i have been collecting notes on each individual series, and in some cases individual books. it isn't the actual text, but it is in some cases outlines to the chapter level of plot points. in other cases it is a several page long overview of the plot and all of the characters. this was all done a few sentances at a time over the course of a few years, but now it feels like an encyclopedia to me because of how internal i have purposefully kept it. i only write things down when they are things i HAVE to have in the book. the things i have solidified in my mind as absolutely necessary. it had to grow slowly, because the creation process had to be so fluid in my mind. i knew this was how i had to write these books. this is why i took what may seem like such a lackadasical approach to something i was always fairly serious about. living up to a potential as high as mine is easier said than done. from the outside, i can seem like a childish person, that i could be so much more if i just focused and buckled down and tightened my bootstraps and surrendered to whatever imposition would turn me into your average adult. i was such a smart kid, why can't i just try a little harder for my own sake (read, everyone elses sake)? that is just the thing. i was a brilliant child. i still am a brilliant child. the beast of an adolescent who everyone wants to be a functional adult is mediocre at best. that is not who i am. the brilliant child inside me, the person who was shoved aside so violently by hormonal imbalances has taken back the reigns. it was pointless to try and fix the adult. so, i'm back. i feel like i have woken up from some crazy dream. maybe the last 10 years just never happened? now i have this fancy adult suit to wear when i go outside.
everyone is absolutely right. it was a damn shame that i was wasting all of that potential. well, i have figured out how to tap into it again without hurting myself. i have figured out how to harness the genius to the point that is has retaken control of my mind. i am so unbelievably happy.
the thing i really can't wait for, is the first time i get to read my books myself. i could sell no copies and still be happy as long as i have something new and awesome to add to my reading rotation. and i already know exactly how cool it is going to be! it gives me shivers thinking about it
