so i'm wondering, when did i stop liking going out in public? i think a combination of having no money, and my immense displeasure at the company i used to keep, i've just gotten grumpy and unexciting. which brings me to meg's b-day party. while not terribly surprising, meg wants dinner and dancing. i get it. i think. well, i understand... no wait... i guess i don't. i just don't know. am i afraid of other people? of socializing? i don't think that's it, since i can fake talking to people pretty well. damnit... i just don't know. i guess i just like being comfortable. comfortable with my surroundings, comfortable with the people i know. granted i can't say that i would enjoy the company of the people who i expect are going to this party terribly (there are a few exceptions i think) i gotta go with the devil i know as opposed to the one i don't. a place to relax, to get away from crowds, a place to just talk with one or two people without having to shout over music, an environment where you can at least kinda be yourself. i guess i just can't do that in public.

also considering the group that's going to this, i can't quite grasp how well they do in a dance environment. the girls, maybe, the guys, meh... not likely. i don't know. i guess i'm griping cause i'm an ass. or at least i'm working on it. one day soon, there will be no b-day parties with people looking to have fun. sooner or later, everyone will settle down, and then b-days become little intimate get-togethers. not parties, but get-togethers. none of you can escape it. hell, dan's already freakin engaged. how long before other dominos start falling? good luck gang.

frivved up by Matt at 7:22 PM