Warning: main(../color.html) [function.main]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/w/a/n/wanked/html/matt/archives/2004_09_01_archmatt.php on line 24
Warning: main(../color.html) [function.main]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/w/a/n/wanked/html/matt/archives/2004_09_01_archmatt.php on line 24
Warning: main() [function.include]: Failed opening '../color.html' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/local/lib/php') in /home/content/w/a/n/wanked/html/matt/archives/2004_09_01_archmatt.php on line 24
Saturday, September 25, 2004
did i mention that office politics suck ballz? so apparently at champion, if you have a problem with one of the dispatchers, and i'm not gonna name names, but if you have a problem with this guy, you're just gonna have to bury it, cause if you bring it up with the brass, he just starts lying thru his fucking teeth, and they don't see any reason to doubt him. i've seen 2 people as of now that have had beefs, and they ended up quitting cause our management doesn't fucking care. i personally would love to rip this arrogant cock sucker's head off, but no... this guy is a "fun guy to have around" and that makes it okay.... i can't begin to tell you how much anger this guy stirs up in me, and i've actually gone to my manager to "talk" about people's so called grievances against this particular gentleman, and i'm not the one who usually rocks the boat at work, but i felt i was driven to at least bring attention to this guy's behavior. it doesn't make a lick of difference. i like working, or at least bringing home a paycheck that allows me some level of peace, but sometimes i really hate having to compromise beliefs for money. makes me feel dirty in some way. it's getting to be a hard thing to shake. anyway.
all under heaven.
movies, paintings, music... all of which makes you think, makes you change, makes you hurt or laugh or cry or smile, cannot be bad. why is it that with so much of this in the world do people get so mixed up? i swear i'm not depressed but more or less resigned to the fact that this world does not embrace each and everyone to it's breast and hold us and tell us that it's alright. cause it aint. we simply don't live in a world where things are fair and just and the majority of people love and care for one another. why is this? are we that screwed up? where did we go wrong? what are you doing to make things right? until i figure out where i fit in and how i can start making things right, i'm gonna hide. i'm gonna hide, and criticize from afar, cause it's safe, comfortable, and easy. it's what i know. no one makes it out of this game alive, and the sooner we accept mortality and it's limits, we'll stop overreaching, and start looking inward, cause that's where the solution starts. have a nice day.
i'm all over the map with broad generalizations and cookie fortune ideas. i apologize.
movies, paintings, music... all of which makes you think, makes you change, makes you hurt or laugh or cry or smile, cannot be bad. why is it that with so much of this in the world do people get so mixed up? i swear i'm not depressed but more or less resigned to the fact that this world does not embrace each and everyone to it's breast and hold us and tell us that it's alright. cause it aint. we simply don't live in a world where things are fair and just and the majority of people love and care for one another. why is this? are we that screwed up? where did we go wrong? what are you doing to make things right? until i figure out where i fit in and how i can start making things right, i'm gonna hide. i'm gonna hide, and criticize from afar, cause it's safe, comfortable, and easy. it's what i know. no one makes it out of this game alive, and the sooner we accept mortality and it's limits, we'll stop overreaching, and start looking inward, cause that's where the solution starts. have a nice day.
i'm all over the map with broad generalizations and cookie fortune ideas. i apologize.
Sunday, September 19, 2004
work has simply become a way to waste time till the weekends which become a way to release from the work week. such a stupid vicious cycle. is there no more escape? do we have no way to forget? words do not make up for this....
Friday, September 17, 2004
i'm tempted to say that this could be an attempt at catharsis, but that'd be more dishonest than saying i'm trying to get people to notice me by being honest about things. it seems that lately people have being feeling age and wondering where things are gonna end up for them. i'm not sure i'm overly apathetic, or simply not too worried about it, cause i really don't feel like i'm in a rush to figure it out. marriage, careers, so on and so forth, i'm not so ready for. i'd like to feel really positive about something first.
meh.
that's pretty much how i sum up things these days. i don't even look at it as depression, but more or less a general lack of need. i do minimal activities, i socialize as little as possible, i simply just don't care. i don't even have the energy to really keep writing this.
meh.
that's pretty much how i sum up things these days. i don't even look at it as depression, but more or less a general lack of need. i do minimal activities, i socialize as little as possible, i simply just don't care. i don't even have the energy to really keep writing this.
