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Wednesday, November 02, 2005
an excerpt taken from the stranger:
"speaking of brown: Today also brought the story of Behrouz Nahidmobarekeh, the 49-year-old Dallas cab driver on trial for allegdly sprinkling grocery-store pastries with his own dried-and-crumbled fecal matter. Details come from KGBT News, which reports that the first red flag in the saga came crom customers, who complained that the fresh-baked items at a Fiesta grocery store smelled and tasted like manure. When police invistegated Nahidmobarekeh (whom a surveillance camera caught sprinkling a strange substance over the store's pastries), they found a pile of feces by his bead, which authorities determined the cabbie would dry in a microwave then grate with a cheese grater. On Friday, Nahidmobarekeh will be convicted of fecal sprinkling and sentenced to five years in prison. "You just can't put any lipstick on this pig," said Judge Vic Cunningham. "It's just nasty."
man. and the day i read this article is the same day a driver brings the office a couple boxes of krispy kremes. yeah, not so hot on donuts right now. what would drive a person to do something like that? speculate to your heart's content.
"speaking of brown: Today also brought the story of Behrouz Nahidmobarekeh, the 49-year-old Dallas cab driver on trial for allegdly sprinkling grocery-store pastries with his own dried-and-crumbled fecal matter. Details come from KGBT News, which reports that the first red flag in the saga came crom customers, who complained that the fresh-baked items at a Fiesta grocery store smelled and tasted like manure. When police invistegated Nahidmobarekeh (whom a surveillance camera caught sprinkling a strange substance over the store's pastries), they found a pile of feces by his bead, which authorities determined the cabbie would dry in a microwave then grate with a cheese grater. On Friday, Nahidmobarekeh will be convicted of fecal sprinkling and sentenced to five years in prison. "You just can't put any lipstick on this pig," said Judge Vic Cunningham. "It's just nasty."
man. and the day i read this article is the same day a driver brings the office a couple boxes of krispy kremes. yeah, not so hot on donuts right now. what would drive a person to do something like that? speculate to your heart's content.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
so yeah, this is going to take some getting used to. this review thing that i'm gonna keep doing. it's gotta be good for me somehow. perhaps i'll get better at writing. that'd be nice. i feel stunted by my lack of knowledge. when you have so much time to think about this and that, you realize how trapped you are by the amount of knowledge you posses. anyway, i realize i must do something extra with my time, so i feel like this review thing is positive. or at least, it will be... soon, i hope. just one post has me all nerve-racked. kinda sad. i just don't want to come across as pretentious or idiotic. but i still have to assert some kind of base that mine is an opinion worth listening to. so, i'll have to figure out a way to do that, while keeping a sense of me intact. can i do it? who the fuck knows. i guess we'll find out sooner or later.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
since i really don't enjoy writing so much as thinking the thoughts, i shall endeavor to make this quick and to the point. i'm slowly figuring out the why's of questions i hadn't even thought to ask years ago, and i'm trying to apply these ideas to some kind of application. to be clearer, i've decided 'why' is the only real question that drives me these days, and since i don't lead a terribly exciting life, i gotta make some sense out of it. the biggest why for me deals with my taste in the arts, and the people in my life's taste. where does it come from, what do we look for, so on and so forth, those all stem from the big question, why?
this is the toughest part. because then you run in to a large roadblock called the truth. doesn't sound like so much, but when you look closer at it, the truth is a slippery thing. there are bigger truths that i don't think are changable, truths that deal with the interactions between humans. for example, don't kill, don't lie, so on and so forth. i'm sure there are many negotiable traits that could fall under the scrutiny of absolute truths, and that's fine, i'm not here to explore that. however, i will point out that we all apply truths to our taste. we listen, read, watch so many things, over so many countless hours of our day, that we develop our patterns, our preferences, our likes and dislikes. we do this by developing rules of acceptable truths. we believe in the things we perceive, simply because we naturally assume we are right. nothing wrong with that, how else could you live? it'd be impossible to live your days, not being sure of the reality of things. we have to rely on our senses. but when it comes time to judging things using our judging capacities, we are hampered by the fact that we can only judge using the things we know. inevitably people make mistakes simply because of lack of information. i say this because it applies to our tastes. we judge things by the amount of information we have, how that sits with our genetic chemistry, and how that applies the the perceived object. you hear a new band on the radio that is being hailed as being "original," and not having any prior knowledge of music, you assume that this criteria is true, and you like the song, or you don't. however, the same thing is played in the stereo of someone who listens to music all the time, thinks the song sounds like one they've heard years ago, thus finds the song derivative and displeasing. both people see this judgement as a truth in their mind, but yet the end result is that neither agree on the song. so why is it that truth, something that sounds so easily distinguishable ends up being so murky? in the end, truth could be compared to wairing contact lenses. depending on the pair that you're wearing, your idea of truth changes. not to be obvious, but if we as people could learn to recognize the prejudice of we're always right, then we might just be growing.
anyway, so yeah. just thought i'd put that out there.
this is the toughest part. because then you run in to a large roadblock called the truth. doesn't sound like so much, but when you look closer at it, the truth is a slippery thing. there are bigger truths that i don't think are changable, truths that deal with the interactions between humans. for example, don't kill, don't lie, so on and so forth. i'm sure there are many negotiable traits that could fall under the scrutiny of absolute truths, and that's fine, i'm not here to explore that. however, i will point out that we all apply truths to our taste. we listen, read, watch so many things, over so many countless hours of our day, that we develop our patterns, our preferences, our likes and dislikes. we do this by developing rules of acceptable truths. we believe in the things we perceive, simply because we naturally assume we are right. nothing wrong with that, how else could you live? it'd be impossible to live your days, not being sure of the reality of things. we have to rely on our senses. but when it comes time to judging things using our judging capacities, we are hampered by the fact that we can only judge using the things we know. inevitably people make mistakes simply because of lack of information. i say this because it applies to our tastes. we judge things by the amount of information we have, how that sits with our genetic chemistry, and how that applies the the perceived object. you hear a new band on the radio that is being hailed as being "original," and not having any prior knowledge of music, you assume that this criteria is true, and you like the song, or you don't. however, the same thing is played in the stereo of someone who listens to music all the time, thinks the song sounds like one they've heard years ago, thus finds the song derivative and displeasing. both people see this judgement as a truth in their mind, but yet the end result is that neither agree on the song. so why is it that truth, something that sounds so easily distinguishable ends up being so murky? in the end, truth could be compared to wairing contact lenses. depending on the pair that you're wearing, your idea of truth changes. not to be obvious, but if we as people could learn to recognize the prejudice of we're always right, then we might just be growing.
anyway, so yeah. just thought i'd put that out there.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
from "The God Whispers of Han Qing-jao,"
"Do the gods of different nations
talk to each other?
Do the gods of Chinese cities
speak to the ancestors of the Japanese?
To the lords of Xibalba?
To Allah? Yahweh? Vishnu?
Is there some annual get-together
where they compare each other's worshippers?
Mine will bow their faces to the floor
and trace woodgrain lines for me, says one.
Mine will sacrifice animals, says another.
Mine will kill anyone who insults me, says a third.
Here is the question I think of most often:
Are there any who can honestly boast,
My worshippers obey my good laws,
and treat each other kindly,
and live simple generous lives?"
thanks orson scott card
"Do the gods of different nations
talk to each other?
Do the gods of Chinese cities
speak to the ancestors of the Japanese?
To the lords of Xibalba?
To Allah? Yahweh? Vishnu?
Is there some annual get-together
where they compare each other's worshippers?
Mine will bow their faces to the floor
and trace woodgrain lines for me, says one.
Mine will sacrifice animals, says another.
Mine will kill anyone who insults me, says a third.
Here is the question I think of most often:
Are there any who can honestly boast,
My worshippers obey my good laws,
and treat each other kindly,
and live simple generous lives?"
thanks orson scott card
Sunday, May 29, 2005
ARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm way too incapable of describing how my thoughts mesh into some coherent thought that could explain how i'm feeling right now. damnit. it's just not worth it to committ to one specific feeling. i'm pissed though, that's for damn sure. i'm just not sure at what. opinions are all we are capable of. truth is a perspective we're all able to distort for our own purposes, so i won't begin to judge but i will not be social for quite some time after this night. i just can't do it. god damn all of us.
i'm way too incapable of describing how my thoughts mesh into some coherent thought that could explain how i'm feeling right now. damnit. it's just not worth it to committ to one specific feeling. i'm pissed though, that's for damn sure. i'm just not sure at what. opinions are all we are capable of. truth is a perspective we're all able to distort for our own purposes, so i won't begin to judge but i will not be social for quite some time after this night. i just can't do it. god damn all of us.
Saturday, November 20, 2004
i don't know if other people do this, but i've found that you can let yourself melt into a song, especially if the band is fairly emotive. of course you have a couple bowls beforehand, and then you just kind of surrender yourself to whatever it is the band is trying to convey. for example, my current fascination would be jimmy eat world. they make the music syrupy enough to just kinda gel with the music, and then you just kinda let whatever they're singing about wash over, and it's fun to be someone else for a while, bitch about whatever they're bitching about, love the way they do, hurt the way they do... it's ... great escapism. headphones help even more... ahh... music...
Friday, November 19, 2004
important facts: i started writing thoughts and moments on a pad of paper today in attempts to further understand self and expand thinking horizons.
when you look back on your day on paper, it's strange. in bullet points, i can sum up my day with pages of paper. the question is, what can i learn from it? how do i become the best, most efficient-me possible? it's a good question. one i hope takes a long time to answer. it's the growth that excites me. heh, that can be taken wrong... anyway, i just mean that i'm kinda lookin forward to what i can do. you get it, right?
now i get to have fun and smoke weed and be carefree...
when you look back on your day on paper, it's strange. in bullet points, i can sum up my day with pages of paper. the question is, what can i learn from it? how do i become the best, most efficient-me possible? it's a good question. one i hope takes a long time to answer. it's the growth that excites me. heh, that can be taken wrong... anyway, i just mean that i'm kinda lookin forward to what i can do. you get it, right?
now i get to have fun and smoke weed and be carefree...
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
so i'm wondering, when did i stop liking going out in public? i think a combination of having no money, and my immense displeasure at the company i used to keep, i've just gotten grumpy and unexciting. which brings me to meg's b-day party. while not terribly surprising, meg wants dinner and dancing. i get it. i think. well, i understand... no wait... i guess i don't. i just don't know. am i afraid of other people? of socializing? i don't think that's it, since i can fake talking to people pretty well. damnit... i just don't know. i guess i just like being comfortable. comfortable with my surroundings, comfortable with the people i know. granted i can't say that i would enjoy the company of the people who i expect are going to this party terribly (there are a few exceptions i think) i gotta go with the devil i know as opposed to the one i don't. a place to relax, to get away from crowds, a place to just talk with one or two people without having to shout over music, an environment where you can at least kinda be yourself. i guess i just can't do that in public.
also considering the group that's going to this, i can't quite grasp how well they do in a dance environment. the girls, maybe, the guys, meh... not likely. i don't know. i guess i'm griping cause i'm an ass. or at least i'm working on it. one day soon, there will be no b-day parties with people looking to have fun. sooner or later, everyone will settle down, and then b-days become little intimate get-togethers. not parties, but get-togethers. none of you can escape it. hell, dan's already freakin engaged. how long before other dominos start falling? good luck gang.
also considering the group that's going to this, i can't quite grasp how well they do in a dance environment. the girls, maybe, the guys, meh... not likely. i don't know. i guess i'm griping cause i'm an ass. or at least i'm working on it. one day soon, there will be no b-day parties with people looking to have fun. sooner or later, everyone will settle down, and then b-days become little intimate get-togethers. not parties, but get-togethers. none of you can escape it. hell, dan's already freakin engaged. how long before other dominos start falling? good luck gang.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
there was a time, when for some reason, there was manuel, protecting his kingdom of blog was threatened by a blog of my own, and he decided he should get all bitchy about it. this was brought up just a week ago, and as a collective thought, we figured it'd be kind of fun to turn the tables around. i'm calling you out buddy! that's right. you smell. doesn't matter if it's true. just letting you know i'm not gonna take it anymore. manuel, you suck. you heard it here first.
it is 3 am, tho, so i could just be making this up, but who the hell cares anyway?
it is 3 am, tho, so i could just be making this up, but who the hell cares anyway?
Saturday, September 25, 2004
did i mention that office politics suck ballz? so apparently at champion, if you have a problem with one of the dispatchers, and i'm not gonna name names, but if you have a problem with this guy, you're just gonna have to bury it, cause if you bring it up with the brass, he just starts lying thru his fucking teeth, and they don't see any reason to doubt him. i've seen 2 people as of now that have had beefs, and they ended up quitting cause our management doesn't fucking care. i personally would love to rip this arrogant cock sucker's head off, but no... this guy is a "fun guy to have around" and that makes it okay.... i can't begin to tell you how much anger this guy stirs up in me, and i've actually gone to my manager to "talk" about people's so called grievances against this particular gentleman, and i'm not the one who usually rocks the boat at work, but i felt i was driven to at least bring attention to this guy's behavior. it doesn't make a lick of difference. i like working, or at least bringing home a paycheck that allows me some level of peace, but sometimes i really hate having to compromise beliefs for money. makes me feel dirty in some way. it's getting to be a hard thing to shake. anyway.
all under heaven.
movies, paintings, music... all of which makes you think, makes you change, makes you hurt or laugh or cry or smile, cannot be bad. why is it that with so much of this in the world do people get so mixed up? i swear i'm not depressed but more or less resigned to the fact that this world does not embrace each and everyone to it's breast and hold us and tell us that it's alright. cause it aint. we simply don't live in a world where things are fair and just and the majority of people love and care for one another. why is this? are we that screwed up? where did we go wrong? what are you doing to make things right? until i figure out where i fit in and how i can start making things right, i'm gonna hide. i'm gonna hide, and criticize from afar, cause it's safe, comfortable, and easy. it's what i know. no one makes it out of this game alive, and the sooner we accept mortality and it's limits, we'll stop overreaching, and start looking inward, cause that's where the solution starts. have a nice day.
i'm all over the map with broad generalizations and cookie fortune ideas. i apologize.
movies, paintings, music... all of which makes you think, makes you change, makes you hurt or laugh or cry or smile, cannot be bad. why is it that with so much of this in the world do people get so mixed up? i swear i'm not depressed but more or less resigned to the fact that this world does not embrace each and everyone to it's breast and hold us and tell us that it's alright. cause it aint. we simply don't live in a world where things are fair and just and the majority of people love and care for one another. why is this? are we that screwed up? where did we go wrong? what are you doing to make things right? until i figure out where i fit in and how i can start making things right, i'm gonna hide. i'm gonna hide, and criticize from afar, cause it's safe, comfortable, and easy. it's what i know. no one makes it out of this game alive, and the sooner we accept mortality and it's limits, we'll stop overreaching, and start looking inward, cause that's where the solution starts. have a nice day.
i'm all over the map with broad generalizations and cookie fortune ideas. i apologize.
Sunday, September 19, 2004
work has simply become a way to waste time till the weekends which become a way to release from the work week. such a stupid vicious cycle. is there no more escape? do we have no way to forget? words do not make up for this....
Friday, September 17, 2004
i'm tempted to say that this could be an attempt at catharsis, but that'd be more dishonest than saying i'm trying to get people to notice me by being honest about things. it seems that lately people have being feeling age and wondering where things are gonna end up for them. i'm not sure i'm overly apathetic, or simply not too worried about it, cause i really don't feel like i'm in a rush to figure it out. marriage, careers, so on and so forth, i'm not so ready for. i'd like to feel really positive about something first.
meh.
that's pretty much how i sum up things these days. i don't even look at it as depression, but more or less a general lack of need. i do minimal activities, i socialize as little as possible, i simply just don't care. i don't even have the energy to really keep writing this.
meh.
that's pretty much how i sum up things these days. i don't even look at it as depression, but more or less a general lack of need. i do minimal activities, i socialize as little as possible, i simply just don't care. i don't even have the energy to really keep writing this.
Thursday, July 17, 2003
I just had to post something, since there still is no clear explanation as to the personal friv blogs, but hey, just cause we have them means we're keeping in the spirit, right? Um, so yeah, I got my hair cut today. I understand the need to have some reading material in the waiting room, right? People need to be kept occupied, but the place I go to caters to men, and men only... as far as I can tell at least. I've been going there for over a year, and I've never seen woman even enter the shop. Anyway, the whole point is that this shop has magazines for women. Who the hell reads them? And I'm not talking about those fashion girl magazines that have quizzes and other shit that guys sometimes read when there's nothing else, but we're talking like home planning and other stuff like that. The issue that was lying on top of the pile had Sheryl Crow on the cover. I just don't know what that's about.
Friday, July 11, 2003
